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Rain in Cincinnati is like Fair and Balanced News on Fox. It’s predicted, but never happens. After non-rain event, The Aged Ones (aka Yankees) were forced into a split double header, a clear advantage for the Reds. And what a surprise, a split!

I’ll leave any additional comments on this ugly affair to Chad.

In a completely astounding development, the Schilling Anointed Red Sox have inexplicably lost two straight to the hapless Padres. Red Sox starter John Lackey inflated his already bulbous ERA to 7.36 giving up five earned runs in four innings. The Sox gave new meaning to the phrase “timely hitting” scoring one run on ten hits. Throw in a couple of errors and a Mike Cameron sleepwalk off first and it adds up to heartburn in Boston. Curt, say it ain’t so.

Without a game tonight, Its time to continue the “Fair and Balanced” comparison of the Yankees and the Boston CommieSox.

DH: Posada vs. Ortiz

In spite of the resurgence of the Yankees main macho man, raising his average to a lofty .225, the nod goes to Ortiz who is having his best non-juiced year in a decade.

Pitching Staffs

Pick your poison on this one. As it stands at the moment, the Red Sox staff has a combined ERA of 4.00 vs. the Yankees 3.59. Advantage Yankees.

Starting pitching: The current numbers 1s are Sabathia (9 – 4, 3.39) and Becket (6-2, 1.86). I’m calling this a wash because while CC looks like a bag of laundry, Becket sports a really stupid soul patch and infantile chin fuzz.

Number 2s: Right now its AJ Burnet (7 – 5, 4.05) only because Bartolo Colon (5 – 3, 3.10) is on the DL and John Lester (9-3, 3.70). Advantage Red Sox, until Colon returns.

Number 3s/4s: Who knows? Garcia (5 – 5, 3.30) and Nova (7 – 4, 4.13) vs. Bucholz (6 – 3, 3.48) and John Lackey (5 – 6, 7.36). Take Bucholz over Garcia and Nova, who is getting stronger each time out, over Lackey. Again, a wash.

5th Starter? – Both clubs are scrambling but the Red Sox have two veterans who can find there way to the mound without directions, Wakefield and Aceves, while the Yankees are plugging in the helpless (Gordon) and the invisible (nobody else). Advantage: Red Sox

Bull Pen: Short relief and Closer

Robertson (14 Holds, 1.19) and Mariano (19 Saves, 1.89) vs. Bard (14 Holds, 2.55) and Papplebon (13 Saves, 4.03). Advantage: Yankees

Middle and Long Relief: Ayala (23 innings, 1.57) or Albers (28 innings, 2.86). Advantage: Yankees.

Jenks and Wheeler have 34 innings between them and both have an ERA over 6.00. That is really lousy.

The Yankees counter with Pendelton (2.25) and Noesi (4.12) with 31 combined innings.

The rest of both pens have been, to date, inconsequential.

Total Pitching Advantage: The Phillies

Bench

Take the aging Veritek over Cervelli. Catches more games, calls a better game, and hit 50 points higher.

I won’t waste your time with much discussion about the remainder of both benches. There’s no one on either bench I care to watch. Both teams have stronger DLs than their current benches.

Advantage: Anybody else

Summary: Curt Schilling is a dumb ass.