STILL NOT HITTING

Oh, occasionally someone hits a homer, but the Yankee offense isn't scaring anyone except the Yankee front office. In the last few games, the Yanks runs have been driven in with bloop hits and swinging bunts. Last night, it looked like more of the same. So much so, Jacob Ellsbury figured the only way he was going to score from third was to steal home on his own. Girardi didn't know nor did Brett Gardner, who was at bat (I almost called him "the hitter." What was I thinking?) If Gardy had swung...?

I've seen most of the great bullpens in the last 50 years (Did I really just write that?), from the single closer having a great year (Elroy Face with the '59 Pirates, to Luis Arroyo with the '61 Yanks, to Trevor Hoffman with the Padres. The Cincinnati Reds had the "Nasty Boys" in 1990, and the Royals have had a very effective bullpen the last couple of years. However, I've never seen anything as dominating as Bettances and Miller. Last night, they threw a combined 23 pitches, 19 for strikes and struck out 5 of the 6 batters they faced. And the Yanks supposed closer, Aroldis Chapman - he of the 100-mph fastball - isn't even available yet. American League hitters are not looking forward to that day.

Chris Colabello of the Toronto Blue Jays was suspended 80 games for failing a test for performance-enhancing drugs. He's hitting .069 so far. Two thoughts here. 1) His drug of choice isn't enhancing anything. 2) Why did they even bother to test him?

ESPN has finally canned Curt Schilling for inappropriate remarks on twitter. What took them so long? He's been making inappropriate remarks on Sunday night baseball for over a year.

The Yankees are advertising an Alex Rodriquez bat day on May 14th. Bat Day is when they give away baseball bats, this time, A-Rod's bats. The choice seems appropriate since A-Rod doesn't seem to be using them. He's currently hitting .143.

The White Sox pulled off the strangest triple play I've ever heard of last night against the Texas Rangers. 9-3-2-6-2-5 if you're keeping score. 5 assists and 3 putouts. Sounds like a beer game.

Who's the hottest team in baseball? The Chicago cubs are off to a great start at 13-4. They lead the majors in runs scored, averaging over 6 runs a game and have allowed the fewest - 38 in 17 games. The White Sox are 11-6 and trail the Royals by 1/2 game.  Can't wait for that inter-league series.

***THEY SAID IT***
" Regarding the Curt Schilling ESPN firing, sounds like the former Red Sox star pitcher has a lot in common with Pablo Sandoval – both would have longer careers if they could only keep their mouths shut."  -- Janice Hough
"Air from Kobe Bryant’s last game was for sale on eBay. Anyone who has no money saved for retirement and buys this is officially a moron."  -- Brad Dickson
"Johnny Manziel is being sued for trashing a $4.5M house that he rented in Los Angeles. The house was actually worth $9M before Johnny moved in for 2 nights."  -- TC Chong
"A Brooklyn man set a Guinness record by watching television for 94 hours straight. No truth to the rumor that 68 hours of it consisted of instant-replay delays."  -- Dwight Perry
"After Kobe Bryant’s last game, it was no surprise TSN SportsCentre featured Kobe’s top 10 all-time greatest plays. What was surprising is one of them was a pass."  -- RJ Currie
"Baylor tight end LaQuan McGowan, who weighs 405 pounds, could be the heaviest player ever chosen in the NFL draft. At the NFL combine, McGowan wasn’t allowed to do a vertical leap after seismologists warned against it."  -- Brad Dickson

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