Sunday, April 17, 2016


 **Not New
The Yankees are losing because they can't hit. Ellsbury's hitting .209, Teixeira's hitting .200, Headley is down to .154. The most disturbing number belongs to A-Rod, who, with one more fruitless at bat, will be hitting .096! Aaron Hicks is lower but he's only had 12 at bats.

Pablo Sandoval's former trainer says the Panda has an over-eating disorder. He's had this problem for years and should have been no surprise to the Red Sox. You'd think that breaking your belt when swinging at a pitch, as Pablo did, would make an impression on him, but apparently not.  

Are things that dull in Columbus, Ohio, or are the Cavaliers and the Indians that bad? The Ohio State Buckeyes had their spring practice game (The OSU offense against the OSU defense) and they not only sold over 100,000 tickets, there was a lot of ticket scalping going on outside the stadium. Since the defense never gets the ball, I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying the OSU offense won the game.

**This is New. 
 I saw a headline earlier this week that said that David Ortiz had stolen a base. My first thought was, 'He's an honorable guy. He'll return it.' Then I discovered that he actually ran to second when no one was watching. Maybe they should give him a replica base for the achievement. Based on his average speed when circling the bases on a homer, it probably took him 8.5 seconds to make the trip. If he had seen Big Papi running, I'll bet the catcher could have beat him to the bag. 

**Other Things. 
Now that Kobe Bryant has retired, the discussion has started: is Kobe one of the top ten players in NBA history. Please! He's not even in the top Five all-time players on the Lakers. I give you Jerry West, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor and Magic Johnson. That's a hell of a starting five. 

Ever wonder why ball players get out of military service? Doesn't happen often, but here's a story about a player who did serve. Back during WWI, "Sailor" Bob Shawkey, a pitcher for the NY Yankees, brought  some papers home for his wife to sign to get him an exemption as the sole provider for his family. His wife, a woman with the nickname of "Tiger Lady," was a real party animal and found her social life stymied somewhat by her marriage to Shawkey. So she refused to sign the papers and threw Bob out of the house with just his clothers and two hunting dogs. "Sailor" Bob ended up serving on a battleship in the North Sea fighting German U-Boats. Back in baseball after the war, he won 20 games four years in a row followed by an 18-win season. In the meantime, rumor has it that "Tiger Lady" 'faced' more major leaguer players than Bob did.  

"An umpire mistakenly called Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo out after two strikes. This may be a worse harbinger for the Cubs than that dead goat."  -- Brad Dickson
"The  Braves have won! Finally. The last time Atlanta  had a couple weeks that went this badly, General Sherman was involved."  -- Janice Hough
"The 420 Games — “The Olympics for Stoners” — took place March 26 on the Santa Monica (Calif.) Pier, but not without controversy. Apparently three contestants were stripped of gold medals when they passed a drug test."  -- Dwight Perry
"Fans purchased a record $1.2 million in Kobe Bryant merchandise during his final NBA game, which at Staples Center prices works out to three shirts and a hat."  -- Jim Barach
"NY has banned smokeless tobacco at sporting events. You can easily smuggle in guns and knives into the stadiums because Security is focused on “Dip”, Skoal and Copenhagen."  -- Tony Chong
"Now, I don’t want to say Utah rigged the game for Kobe to score 60 points, but Custer played better defense against Sitting Bull."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"The Red Sox have benched corpulent third baseman Pablo Sandoval. On the bright side, he’s got a great shot at becoming the first non-starter in history to lead the league in plate appearances."  -- Dwight Perry
" Jordan Spieth’s 12th-hole tee shot into the creek on Masters Sunday triggered an epic collapse. The most fatal drive involving a 9-iron and water since Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant."  -- RJ Currie
"Kobe scored 60 points in his last game in front of a celebrity filled crowd. In fact, I think Jack Nicholson was guarding him."  --  Mike Lupica
"YES’ Yankees telecasts have included ads advising Comcast subscribers to seek Fios or DirecTV as alternatives, since they no longer carry Yankee games. One problem: Unless they’re watching miles away in another county, Comcast subs can’t see or hear those ads. It’s like trying to count the absent by asking them to raise their hands."  -- Phil Mushnick
"In his final game, Kobe Bryant scored 60 points on a career-high 50 shots. Most impressive was his first shot, taken through the moon roof in his car while pulling into the Staples Center parking lot."  -- Brad Dickson



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