Monday, April 16, 2012

MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKING

## Yanks in first, the Rays in last. Sounds great, but we haven't even played 10 games yet and there is only a one game difference between the two. And NY is tied with Baltimore & Toronto for first. The Yanks start a four game series against the Twins tonight on ESPN.
Why on ESPN? What's so special about this game? Maybe they just think that the country should get a chance to see Mauer and Morneau play before they get hurt again.
I'd rather see Rochester at Scranton (actually played in Rochester) so I could watch Bellances pitch.

## Valentine's at it again. He's tried for months to get the Yankees to engage in a war of words, with no luck. The Yanks just treat him like an escapee from an asylum and snicker and walk away. So Booby is trying a new tack: attack one of your own players. He's quoted as saying that he doesn't think that Kevin Youkilis is as committed physically or emotionally to the game as he has been. I'm no big fan of Youkilis, but he's no slacker. He's in an horrendous power slump. His last home run was on August 10th of last year. Jeter went thru a terrible slump that lasted a year and a half, but he's obviously back. For two straight years, David Ortiz looked like his career was over for the first two months of the season, and now, he's Boston's major force. Valentines defenders (I think it's his family) say he's trying to light a fire under Youkilis, but I don't think that's effective. Even Dustin Pedroia said, "Maybe that works in Japan, but not here."

## The Dodgers are 9-1 and Don Mattingly is being touted as manager of the year. Yeah, 10 games is long enough. Let's start the voting now.

## Joe Girardi continues to over-manage. If you want to change the lineup, fine, change it. But this business of moving guys around based on who's pitching, seems completely unnecessary. Jeter, Granderson, Cano and A-Rod have been hitting effectively against both right and left-handed pitchers for years. It's okay, Joe. We know you're the manager. There's no reason to move everybody around other than to make it clear who is in charge of the lineup card. Sit down and go to sleep, Joe, we got this.

## The Clemens perjury trial begins this week. Again. The New York papers devoted two full pages to bringing all the details back into focus, including pictures and charts. The first attempt was declared a mistrial on a technicality, which was totally stupid. Even though it resolved nothing, I was gald it was over, because I was just tired of it. Now we have to go thru it all again. Throw his pin-cushioned pricked butt in jail and let's move on to important stuff, like, how's that $26 hot dog in Texas selling?

## Our first major umpire goof has occurred. If you missed it, don't worry, there'll be lots more. The Padres found a way to BUNT into a triple play, with a large assist from home plate umpire, Dale Scott. With two on and no outs, Jose Guzman tried to bunt. When the pitch went high and tight, he tried to back out of the way, but the ball hit his bat. It landed in foul territory, then rolled fair. Catcher AJ Ellis picked it up, threw to third and the Dodgers continued around the horn completing all three outs. Umpire Dale Scott had immediately ruled a foul ball when it first hit the ground, but the ball was live and no call should have been made. A 'foul ball' call sent both runners back to their bases, making it an east play. Dale Scott did NOT get an assist on the play. ...but he should have.

## As the old joke goes, "I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out." There were so many fights during the Philadelphia-Pittsburgh playoff game yesterday, that I'm surprised to see they actually got the game in. ESPN hockey analyst, Steve Levy, thinks there should be so many fines and suspensions after this game, that we may see the first three-on-three professional hockey game in history.

## Whoa! Did I just hear umpire Jim Joyce call a strike? My mistake; it was a car backfiring. I won't say he's loud, but Joyce could be heard two stadiums away. This man is a candidate for a Riccola commercial.

***THEY SAID IT***
"An Israeli unicyclist got into the Guinness Book of Records by pedalling over the tops of 127 empty beer bottles. That'll give the Red Sox clubhouse something to shoot for." -- RJ Currie
"Spotted on the back of a "Bobby Petrino Motorcycle Club" T-shirt, all yours for only $22.99.
"If you can read this the blonde fell off!"
-- Skreened.com
"Boston Bruins forward David Krejci escaped with only minor aches around the collar after a sheet of glass fell on him while celebrating his team's first playoff win. Doctors, unsure how to list it on the insurance report, finally settled on pane in the neck." -- Dwight Perry
"Eli Manning will host SNL. Giselle Bunchen said that they would have asked Tom Brady again but the show would have unreasonably expected her husband to do all the comic work." -- Janice Hough
"The membership committee at Augusta say they will still not admit women to the club. However, beginning next month they are going to start admitting effeminate men." -- David Letterman

CP-

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