PLAYOFFS?? PLAYOFFS??

ESPN is having a lot of fun these days, reliving coach Jim Mora's famous "Playoffs?" rant. For those of you living in a cave, in a press conference after an Indianapolis Colts loss, a reporter asked if the Colts still had a chance at making the playoffs. Mora's response was to repeat the word playoffs a number of times in an incredulous manner. Really pretty funny. In fact, they built a beer commercial around it. That's when you know you've made it.

Which brings to mind one of the inconsistencies of the sporting world, at least to me. Why is it that one of the country's major sporting events, college football, has no playoffs, but everyone else does? Professional sports leave no stone unturned when it comes to producing games that have a chance at championships hanging in the balance, games that produce income. But college football doesn't. No, they have coaches and computers determine who gets to play for the crown. Granted, you do get the occasional Cinderella (meaning 'unworthy') team winning the championship, such as this year's St. Louis Cardinals, but usually the team that wins, is one of 4 or 5 that deserve it.
But here's college football's big game that leaves a couple of really good teams without a chance to win it all. Why don't they have playoff games? Don't they need the money? They do have a kind of playoff system, but it doesn't matter if you win or lose, you're still not going anywhere. They're called "Bowl Games," and they are full of pageantry and history. ...They just don't count.

***THE WINTER MEETINGS***
Baseball's big off-season event is under way down in Dallas. So far, the big player is the Florida...excuse me, Miami Marlins. They have already signed closer Heath Bell for $27 million dollars and shortstop Jose Reyes for $106 million. They have met with the agent for Albert Pujols twice and are supposedly ready to offer a contract in excess of $120 million and all the Cuban sandwiches he can eat. The last time the Marlins did something like this, they won a World Series...and promptly sold or traded everyone away the following year. The Marlins now have to convince shortstop Hanley Ramirez to change positions. That didn't work so well when they suggested it last year. This could be fun: two guys standing at shortstop and no third baseman.

In the meantime, the Mets are down to one legitimate major leaguer on their roster, David Wright, whom they refuse to trade, claiming they're trying to win in 2012. They can't make a trade, because no one wants their players. They're trying to lure free agents by moving the fences in, but they'd have to move them to the edge of the infield dirt to make it attractive enough for the hitters, but then the free-agent pitchers won't go for it and the current staff is already on their knees saying a rosary.

The Yankees are quiet with GM Brian Cashman saying he's, "...not going to be stupid." No, he'd rather jump off a building than sign some of these high-priced free agents. And, in fact, he did jump off a building. ...Dressed as an elf. Cashman's nothing if not a man of his word.

***AWARDS***
This is the time of the year when all the awards are handed out, such as MVP, Cy Young, etc., or the debates start on the Heisman Trophy and the FIFA player of the year (That's soccer for those of you who don't have an Abby Wambach as a native of your town).

The University of Detroit Mercy has honored former coach Dick Vitale by naming it's basketball court after him. Wouldn't a megaphone have been more appropriate? ...Baby?

Former Cub third baseman Ron Santo has been elected to the Hall of Fame. Even though I feel his statistics are marginal, I offer congratulations to one of the finest gentlemen of the sport.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Former Canadian Football League stars Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca, both 73, got into a brawl at a football luncheon. This may be our last chance to see two 73-year-olds fighting until that inevitable Evander Holyfield-Larry Holmes match." -- Brad Dickson
"The posted speed limit on Ole Miss campus is 18 mph - the jersey number of ex-Rebels football great Archie Manning. Let's be thankful Wayne Gretzky never played college hockey." -- RJ Currie
"Venus Williams nearly experienced a Janet Jackson Super Bowl moment in Milan when the left strap snapped on her self-designed tennis outfit while playing Flavia Pennetta. Exhibition match? No kidding." -- Dwight Perry
"A working definition of Bowl Selection Sunday: "The day when we find out which teams that shouldn't be going to bowl games are going to bowl games that shouldn't exist." -- David Thomas
"LSU vs. Alabama again, this time for the BCS championship? Really? The last time a 1 and a 2 produced so little buzz, grandma was watching Lawrence Welk." -- Dwight Perry
"Ndamukong Suh failed in his attempt to have his two-game suspension overturned. Guess NFL commissioner Roger Goddell decided to put his foot down." -- Janice Hough

In case you missed it, Manny Ranirez has reneged on his retirement and is again looking to catch on with a team. Bud Selig seems inclined to give Manny another chance, since he reduced his 100-game drug-related suspension to 50 games. Not that it matters, by the time the 50 games are up, Manny will have forgotten that he isn't retired.
In a related story, Pedro Martinez has officially retired. It took him a year and a half to determine what everyone else already knew.
These two guys just won't go away.

CP-