I'M STILL HERE

It's been a very quiet winter, with the Pujols signing being the only big splash. The Yankees have been so quiet, you have to wonder if brian Cashman has been tied up, gagged and locked in a closet in Tampa by the Steinbrenners.

** Prince Fielder is the biggest name still in the unemployed ranks. Scott Boras is his agent, so don't think Fielder's price is going down. Boras is the master at finding the "ODO" (One Dumb Owner). If Texas doesn't win the bid for the Japanese phenom, Yu Darvish, they may step into the bidding. Theo Epstein still has to make a big splash in Chicago and Washington sometimes comes out of nowhere, so Boras is still in play.

** Buster Olney cast his HOF ballot yesterday and had some interesting comments on past balloting. For example, in his first year of eligibility, 23 voters did NOT vote for Willie Mays. 11% of the voters didn't think Joe DiMaggio belonged, in his first year. Buster thinks Barry Larkin has the best chance of being elected this year.

** Next years voting will be ver-r-r-y interesting. Some of the names that come up: Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, Craig Biggio and Mike Piazza. At some point, all were mentioned in connection with PEDs. There will, of course, be the election of someone whose only claim to fame is one significant act, i.e. Bill Mazeroski's home run. I'm sure Curt Schilling will get votes for the "bloody sock." His stats aren't too bad, tho'. 216 wins and a career 3.48 ERA. An 11-2 post season record will help, too. I just hope they don't mention the sock on his plaque.

** I'm sure Barry Bonds is devastated over his "punishment." 30 days of house arrest, which should be more accurately labeled "mansion" arrest. And, he's appealing it! What's he want, 60 days mansion arrest? In the meantime, his trainer spent better than a year in prison, because he wouldn't testify against Bonds. Hopefully, Barry will send him a thank-you note.

***THEY SAID IT***
"I thought I was watching the movie "King Kong" on TV. An enormous hairy creature was climbing the Empire State Building. Turns out, it was actually the Milwaukee Brewers' Ryan Braun doing offseason conditioning. Braun, the reigning NL MVP, reportedly tested positive for the highest level of synthetic testosterone ever seen in an MLB player. The last time this much male testosterone was seen in an athlete, it was an East German woman." -- Brad Dickson
"Breaking news : David Stern does not approve Kobe's divorce. Vanessa moves back in." -- Jerry Perisho
"Raiders fans are clamoring for QB Terrelle Pryor. Yep, the rookie third-stringer who has yet to take a snap in a game and is more of a project than that bicycle you will be putting together on Christmas Eve after seven eggnogs." -- Scott Ostler
"Dodgers manager Don Mattingly will don a dress and portray Mother Ginger in "The Nutcracker" for his hometown Evansville (Ind.) Ballet. In other words, a tutu pitch." -- Dwight Perry

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