NO YANKEE GAME LAST NIGHT...

...SO LET'S JUST LAUGH INSTEAD.

***BOSTON LOSES 4-0***
Well, I think it's funny. By the way, since the Red Sox have played two more games than the Yanks and are now one full game behind, so even if the Sox win and the Yanks lose tonight, the Yanks will still be in first place by percentage points. (Insert secondary laugh here)

***ESPN MAY START AN ESPNW CHANNEL***
That's right, all women sports, all the time. Columnist Norman Chad suggests some possible changes and some new features:
**All-male sideline reporters
**Out with "Big Monday" in with "Sadie Hawkins Night"
**"Pardon the Menstruation"
(Okay ladies, let's not kill the messenger, now.)

***NEW FEATURE - "STUPIDEST THINGS IN SPORTS"***
Leading off with a couple from Norman Chad:
“Quiet Please” signs at golf tournaments
Kobe Bryant can make free throws at the end of a basketball game with 15,000 fans screaming and waving stuff behind the basket, but Matt Kuchar can’t putt unless he’s in the freakin’ library? Hey, the ball doesn’t move. The hole doesn’t move. Step up and play, pal.
The two-minute warning in football.
Does the referee really have to go over to each sideline and tell the coaches that there are two minutes left in the half? What, they can’t see the stadium clock? IT’S HUGE. Rather than warning the coaches in regard to time remaining, what would be more helpful — particularly if you’re, say, Lovie Smith — is if the referee could warn a coach that Jay Cutler is about to throw a game-changing interception.
There will be more.

## Interesting note: On this date last year, the Yankees had the exact same record as they do now. They were tied for first with Tampa Bay and Boston was 5 games out (maybe this should be part of the 'Laughs' portion).

## The San Diego Padres retired Trevor Hoffman's number on Sunday. A video of The Star Spangled Banner, sung by Hoffman's Dad, who died in 1985, was played before the game. Dave Winfield reported that there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I can believe it.

CP-