Saturday, August 20, 2011

THE BATS ARE STILL HOT

## YANKS WIN 8-1
It seems everyone in the lineup is contributing now. Even Posada who, though he only got one hit, smoked two other balls that would have gone for extra bases if his aim was a little better. Hughes looks stronger every time out. He gave up two hits, one a homer, but only struck out two.
## AJ Burnett against Francisco Liriano tonight. Their records are extremely similar: both bad.
The Yanks have the more potent offense, so they should come out all right.
## I see Ron Gardenhire's career record against the Yankees is 19-61. That's hard to imagine. In an obvious attempt to break the string, Ron got himself thrown out of the game in the first inning Thursday night. Didn't help; the Yanks still won.
## Another frivolous remark by ESPN's current comedy team. Watching a home run blast by Josh Hamilton: "I will serve no fries before their time." ??? What are they putting in this guy's orange juice in the morning?
## While we're at it, who's doing the programming there? It makes no sense to me that they spent 10 minutes (actually timed) on four pre-season (i.e. worthless) pro-football games and 5+ minutes on five baseball games, three of which involved teams fighting for a division. Is it just me?
## Last Sunday, the Sports Reporters advised us to watch the "pennant race" that was heating up between Texas and the Angels. There was only one game separating them and this was going to a battle for the rest of the season. The result? Six days later and the Angels are now 6 games out. Good call!
## In the meantime, the two teams with the best records in the American League are separated by a mere half-game, and both teams have been fighting thru a rash of injuries to key players. And people wonder why their games are on national TV so often. (As they also say on ESPN, that's the Yanks & the Red Sox for those of you who are new to the program)
## More scouting reports:
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones until he discovered religion. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville . Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words, either.)
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell : 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Tyler , Texas . Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick."
## Strange Rumor Dept. Johnny Damon is on the waiver wire, and one writer (name withheld to protect the ignorant) believes he will end up with either the Yanks or the Red Sox, because both teams are in need of a reliable DH. It's also possible he could end up with the Phillies. Somebody find this guy a shiny toy to play with.

***THEY SAID IT***
"An ESPN analyst said he hoped to see the old Tiger at the PGA Championship. Wish granted. He looked like an old Tiger." -- RJ Currie
"Cash payments, alcohol, strippers, hookers -- no wonder the Hurricanes haven't won much lately. They're exhausted." -- Michael Rosenberg
--OR --
"Have you heard about the accusations of the University of Miami football team? Hookers, drugs, bribes, lavish hotel suites, yachts. That isn't a football team, that's a weekend with Charlie Sheen." -- Alex Kaseberg
"Black Swan actress Mila Kunis told Glamour magazine she is looking for a man who is funny, not good looking. This is great news for most sports humorists." -- RJ Currie
(Hope Annie-O doesn't see that one)

CP-



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