Rupert the NEWT

Rupert "Fair and Balanced" Murdoch has outdistanced perhaps the toughest competition in the storied history of the NEWT to capture the coveted NEWT of the Month. Severely tested by Michele "The Barbarian Gay Basher" Bachman and Eric "Watch Me Pout While the Economy Burns" Cantor, Rupert proved his NEWT-Worthy-Ness when his recently uncovered history of sleaze and corruption not only brought down his British media empire but also the publisher of the Wall Street Journal and, in a stunning coup de grace, Paul Stephenson, the Head of Scotland Yard.

Rupert is a bit concerned that the scandal will find it's way into FoxNewz, his American flagship property, although he's pretty sure that once you drink that KoolAid you're a zombie for life(?).

While we patiently wait for other heads to fall, congratulations to Mr. Murdoch, a native Australian, a naturalized American, and a through and through NEWT!

In baseball news...

Be sure to watch the Yankees on Fox. Yes, boys and girls, Hank has a business crush on Rupert.

Bret Gardner gave a classic lesson in lead off hitting today. Can't wait until he's dropped back to the bottom of the order. Doh!

Yesterday, Joe Girardi dropped what may become my favorite quote of the season, "I'm not sure of anything.", when asked if he thought the Jays were stealing signs. Joe could easily trot this one out for all occasions... and always be right.

Someone, anyone, please introduce Mark Teixeira to Kevin Long.

In actually interesting sports developments, congratulations to Darren Clarke for an inspired performance in the The Open. Expect that golfers everywhere will be fitting their bags with kitchenettes and kegs.

The Women's World Cup was sensational and brought to life "The thrill of victory and the agony of da feet".