Saturday, April 23, 2011

From the Ashes... Vice President NEWT

From Buzz Bissinger of The Daily Beast

"There is simply no way to say with any degree of artfulness so I won’t even try:

Los Angeles Dodgers’ owner Frank McCourt is a vile piece of shit who not only ruined what was once the classiest franchise in all of sports but should also face legal consequences if allegations are true that he did reportedly not pay any taxes on $105 million he siphoned from the Dodgers’ for his own personal use.

Some are saying they are shocked by Wednesday’s news of Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig appointing a trustee to take over operations of the Dodgers. Given McCourt’s track record, I have no idea why. Perhaps the most vigorous defense in his favor comes from Tommy Lasorda, a profane clown when he managed the Dodgers and even more of a profane clown on the talk circuit. Lasorda says McCourt really loves the Dodgers, which is like saying that Hannibal Lecter really loved his victims before he ate their livers."

The Dodgers franchise may be in shambles but a silver lining appears. While unimpressed that McCourt only skimmed $105 million for his personal use including $600,000 for fake jobs for his two sons, membership at seven exclusive country clubs, and $72.5 million for the purchase of a couple of weekend crash pads, presidential hopeful Donald Trump still believes that he may have found the perfect running mate in McCourt.

While admitting that he would have far more respect if McCourt had siphoned off "some real money" from the Dodgers, he knows McCourt's a guy with the right priorities. Sure, he reduced the Dodger payroll 30%, sticking it to those union stiffs, in a move that will appeal to the Trump's base of tea-baggers. But what clinched the deal for The TrumpWad was the $150,000 of Dodger money that paid for McCourt's haircuts during the last calendar year.

Said Trump, "Here's a guy who can hold his own in tonsorial discussions with congressional powerhouse and prettyboy John Boehner. Finally, a hair cut (and a NEWT!) the American people can believe in."

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