IT'S ALMOST TIME

Just a few more days until the start of the 2009 season, then Picasner won't have to write about steroids, rumors and exotic statistics. In the meantime...

***ICHIRO HAS AN ULCER***
The tables have turned: now Ichiro can see what it feels like to have one instead of causing them.

***SHEFFIELD IS A MET***
Scouts say his arm is only OK, he no longer has the speed to play the outfield and he has lost a lot of bat-speed. Buster Olney thinks he will "still strike fear in the hearts of opposing managers." How, Buster? Body odor?

***UMPIRES UNDER SCRUTINY***
The QuesTek system, used to check the accuracy of ball/strike calls of ML umpires has been improved. The umpires still don't like it, of course, nor does one blogger, Eugene Freeman. He thinks it is okay to punish or fine umpires for 'misconduct' such as refusing to carry out rules or "intentionally missing calls." He doesn't think anything should be done if they maintain 'their own strike zone' as opposed to the one listed in the rules. He says, " Should writers be punished or disciplined for misspelling or miscalculating a statistic? Everyone makes mistakes and umpires shouldn't be disciplined for poor performance." Better lighten up on the 'happy pills,' Eugene. If an umpire is consistently making poor calls or making mistakes, he should definitely be punished. If he's incompetent, maybe he shouldn't be an umpire. And if he REFUSES to carryout the rules or intentionally misses calls, he should be fired! Immediately!

Oh, and Eugene, if you're a writer and can't spell, seek after new employment.

***THE EXPERTS AT ESPN***
Here are their top ten pre-season Power Rankings:
Boston
Tampa
Yankees
Cubs
Phillies
Mets
Angels
Dodgers
Indians
Twins
Obviously, Picasner feels the Yanks are #1 and the Twins don't belong, but the rest of the list seems okay.

***MICHAEL KAY IS IN MID-SEASON FORM ALREADY***
When Matsui tilted his head to help keep his long drive in fair territory last night, Michael said, "Hideki is using body-English...or in his case, body-Japanese." Okay Michael, let's stop this right now.

***IS HE SERIOUS?***
Jim Schwartz, new head coach of the Detroit Lions, commented that "...there was too much emphasis on talent in the NFL." Not to worry, Jim, have you looked at your roster?

We sadly bid farewell to my brother-in-law, Paul Waara, a Buffalo native and long-time Yankee fan.