General commentary from one who should know better. Current NY Yankee events, politics, sports, and other areas of disinterest will be both thoughtfully and thoughtlessly addressed. You decide which is which. Look for Chad Picasner and V. Kanockers to appear here!
Friday, July 31, 2009
LIES, LIES AND MORE LIES
***MATSUZAKA: "I NEVER SAID THAT"***
It spite of the many 'quotes', Matsuzaka now claims he never criticized the Boston coaching staff. Apparently some Japanese reporter doesn't understand Japanese.
***LAST TIME - I'M DISGUSTED***
How many times can you be shocked, disappointed, amazed, etc.? Two more names have surfaced from the infamous "Gang of 104." All these major stars (Canseco claims there is even a Hall of Famer who was a big user) being outed is just disheartening. There are now only TWO players that I trust: Derek Jeter and Junior Griffey. I'd have to find a new sport if they were ever accused.
***ONE GUY WHO IS STANDING UP***
Former Yankee LaTroy Hawkins is in trouble for a comment he made about an umpire (and you all know what sensitive people they are). After some ball/strike disagreements between LaTroy and umpire Mike Everitt, Hawkins said, "I thought he had determined who he wanted to win the game anyway." Not a good thing, LaTroy. When asked if he regretted his comment, Hawkins replied, "Why would I? I'm fighting any disciplinary action. He has his opinion and I have mine. He thought I was showing him up (There it is, folks). I've seen A-rod do way worse in the AL." You could have picked a better role model, LaTroy. This is going to get ugly. MLB will not let this go.
***DOWN TO THE WIRE***
As this is written, there are 5 1/2 hours left till the trading deadline. What are the odds of any of the most talked about trades happening (in Picasner's opinion)?
Victor Martinez from Cleveland to Boston - 80%
Jarrod Washburn from Seattle to the Yanks - 50%
Roy Halladay to anywhere - 0%
According to Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post: "The Pirates just traded the statue of Roberto Clemente from in from of their stadium." (I didn't think he was available.)
I could watch Hannah Storm on ESPN all day. ...even if she didn't talk.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
RANDOM THOUGHTS
He made a nice catch up against the wall last night, and then threw the ball into the bleachers...and missed. He tried to score from second on a single and was thrown out mostly because he ran a great circle route from third to home. Get used to it Dodger fans, there's more to come. Manny's hair is now down to the middle of his back. As usual, Torre is doing a fine job enforcing the team rules.
***SPEAKING OF TORRE***
He's finally figured out how to save his over-worked bullpen: he's using his starters in relief.
***PITTSBURGH PIRATE TRYOUTS IN GENEVA***
The ads they're using to attract players is great: "Here's your chance to play in the majors. Make the Pirates team and get traded to a major league team." Works for me.
***THAT'S WHY HE'S A GENIUS***
Tampa manager, Joe Maddon, thinks the Rays and the Yanks are very evenly matched. "I just wish our offense was more productive," he says. Oh, I get it, Joe. You mean you wish that you'd score more runs then the Yanks. I'll bet that would work.
***HALLADAY UPDATE***
-0-
***YANKS NEED A PITCHER***
Even if Mitre continues to do okay, they need another starter if they're really going to limit Joba to 150 innings. If the plan is to move him to the pen, then he's only got about 3 more starts left. Then what? Maybe they should go hard after Washburn.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
BITS AND PIECES
Since ESPN started their "Rumor Central" column, historically there has been a lot of rumors in the Winter and Spring, but not very much during the season. To quote Inspector Clouseau. "Not any more." I have never seen this much activity ever. There is more speculation over Doc Halladay than there ever was over Johann Santana. The latest (and Picasner's take):
Halladay to...whoever: Not gonna happen. No one will meet Toronto's price
Jarod Washburn to the Yanks: A distinct possibility, but the price will be high
??? to Boston: We've heard so much about the depth of Boston's pitching, that everyone thinks the Sox will overpay for whomever. Epstein's not stupid; they won't.
Cliff Lee to Philly: This is the most likely trade to actually happen
A trade involving Pittsburgh: No problem. I think even I could get an outfielder from them for my old baseball glove
A trade involving the Dodgers: Boy, would I be surprised. For every trade involving LA, I hear that they won't give up any prime prospects and want you to pick up the salary of the player they trade for. They even tried this on Toronto. Riccardi just laughed.
***$100 MILLION WORTH OF TROUBLE***
The Red Sox are becoming increasingly unhappy with their Japanese star, Daisuke Matsuzaka. Apparently, Daisuke believes the 'American' training methods are hurting him, not helping. He wants to throw pitch after pitch after pitch to strengthen his arm, while the Sox are interested in rest and healing. They are also unhappy with him insisting on pitching in the WBC (the start of his arm problems), coming to camp out of shape, not paying attention to the pitching coach and complaining to the Japanese press. He wants to work out his own training methods. as Terry Francona says, " If we did that and he had more arm problems, I'm sure owner John Henry would look at the $102 million and come to me and say 'What's going on?' If I say 'I don't know, we're letting him do it his own way,' John Henry probably wouldn't like that too much." I know; let's send him to Joe Torre.
***LAST CHANCE***
If you've never heard Vin Sully broadcast a baseball game, or maybe haven't in a few years, find a way to listen to one during the rest of the year. Word is he's going to retire at the end of the year and that's a shame. I don't think there ever WAS anyone better, nor will there ever BE any one better. A great understanding of the game, the perfect voice and he knew when to shut up. Even though I seldom got to hear him, it was somehow comforting to me to know he was out there. He might even deserve his own room in the Hall of Fame.
***NEWS FLASH***
Tony Bernazard of the Mets has been fired. As though that was unexpected. In spite of what Omar Minaya has said, it wasn't reporter Adam Rubin's fault. Omar is next, I believe.
Monday, July 27, 2009
IT WAS A BUSY WEEKEND
He was pulled from a game after 2 innings with a strained right gluteus. I always thought he was a pain in the ass. (You knew that was coming)
***TONY BERNAZARD IN TROUBLE***
More stories have surfaced regarding his short fuse and blazing temper. Bernazard denies all of it, of course, and will fight anyone who disagrees.
***A CHANGE FOR TONY PENA, JR?***
The son of Yankee bench coach, Tony Pena, Sr, a shortstop in the Royals organization, is attempting to become a pitcher. Last year, he hit .169 and was worse this year, hitting only .098. He mopped up in the ninth inning earlier for the Royals, and manager Trey Hillman was impressed. "I liked what I saw," he said. I suspect what he liked the most was that he could keep Jr. 60 feet away from the plate.
***CUBS IN FIRST PLACE***
Outfielder Milton Bradley's reaction: "Will I get more cheers now?" What a team player.
***RICKEY HENDERSON IN THE HALL OF FAME***
In his acceptance speech, Rickey said, "I never took the game for granted. I always respected the game." He certainly was one of the most exciting players in baseball and deserves to be in the hall. As far as "respecting the game," why was he traded so many times? Twice while he was in his prime.
***PIRATES SETTING UP FOR MORE TRADES***
I don't get this. Who is left to trade? Two concession attendants and a ticket taker?
***BAD CONTRACTS***
Surprise! Alex Rodriguez isn't a part of this comment.
**31 yr-old Barry Zito, with a 129 career wins, has $76 million more coming over 4 years
**30 yr-old Vernon wells will earn $88.5 million over 5 years, in spite of a career .258 average
**33 yr-old Alphonso Soriano gets $90 million over the next 5 years for his career .253 average
***PANIC IN BEANTOWN?***
With their rotation full of question marks and their lineup scaring no one, the Sox are looking for some blockbuster trades. Roy Halladay, Adrian Gonzales and Victor Martinez to name a few. The question is, how are are they going to get anywhere when they reportedly are refusing to give up ANY young talent? Theo Epstein is supposedly burning the midnight oil trying to come up with some kind of magic act. If Boston is to have a chance (and Tampa, for that matter), they better make a move now while the Yanks play a tough 9 games on the road.
***YES NETWORK GUILTY OF POOR SCHEDULING***
They normally do a great job, so why did they broadcast a baseball game at the same time as their sit-com, "THE LEITER & O'NEIL SHOW" hosted by Michael Kay? I have a dollar that says neither one of them could tell you the score of yesterday's game. The whole weekend was like listening to Charley McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd. O'Neil even claimed at one point, to have played on the 1961 Yanks. His wife must be so proud. Leiter didn't even take the time to tease Michael Kay. At least we found out who likes cotton candy and who doesn't.
Friday, July 24, 2009
AROUND THE HORN - JULY
Congrats to Mark Buehrle for his perfect game. This very rare occurrence requires not only a little luck, but that your teammates ALSO be perfect. That can be a lot of pressure. I also listened to a couple of sportscasters claim that DeWayne Wise's catch was "...the greatest catch ever," considering the circumstance. It was a terrific catch, but the "greatest" tag is sure up for debate.
***...AND THE BEAT GOES ON***
Seven in a row! Success breeds confidence. Picasner keeps telling The Bimb, baseball is very cyclical: a losing streak is bound to happen, you just try to keep them to a minimum. When the Yanks traded for Hinske, did they have to pay extra for the Superman T-shirt. It is said that a change of scenery can often help players, but this guy's in dreamland. Keep it up, Eric.
***THIS IS BECOMING A JOKE***
Rumor has it that Met's Vice President for Player Development (remember that title), Tony Bernazard, went to Binghamton to "straighten out" the players on the Mets farm team and during his 'pep talk', ended up ripping off his shirt and challanging some players to a fight. What kind of development are you trying for, Tony? Either he has some strange motivational techniques or he's wearing his hat too tight. GM Omar Minaya, really downplayed the incident, which may be an indication that his influence is dropping like a stone. If your team is winning, incidents like this get passed off as passion. If your're losing, well, words like "disruption" and "panic" begin to appear.
Minaya also said he's not worried, and the team will not be having a 'fire sale', that the Mets are in the hunt for the wild card spot with "...only a couple of teams" ahead of them. Actually Omar, that's seven teams ahead of you.
***MANNY BEING MANNY***
Say what you will (and I do), this guy can hit. A pinch-hit grand slam homer, broken fingernail and all (sorry, couldn't resist).
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
THE YANKS ARE IN FIRST
I thought it very encouraging that after winning two games with the long ball, the Yanks scored in the 2nd without the benefit of a hit. A good streak for the Bronx Bombers, I hope it continues.
Listened to Kenny rave about the Orioles outfielders arms, but the first two throws were so far off line, that it looked like they were throwing to the wrong base. Markakis finally threw Jeter out at home to retain a little respect. The Yanks did the right thing: keep running till they prove they can get within 10 feet of what they're aiming at.
It didn't look good for Mitre for a while. 1st pitch, double, 2nd pitch, groundout, 3rd pitch, single. At first, I thought, "It's Igawa in disguise." But it wasn't. Mitre was a very pleasant surprise.
***IT SEEMS PICASNER'S NOT ALONE***
John Kruk says that a certain team had better find a way to cut down on the use of the bullpen, if they expect to HAVE a bullpen come September. He wasn't even talking about the Yanks. No, it's that Torquemada of the bullpen, Joe Torre. The Dodgers have 4 relievers with 40+ appearances totaling 195 innings. The Yanks, in the meantime, have only 2 relievers with 40 appearances and no one else over 25. I must admit, Girardi has been better lately.
***GARDENHIRE HAS SOME INTERESTING IDEAS***
The Twins manager would like to see managers given a red flag to toss when they would like to have a play reviewed, just like pro football. Just 1 flag. If you're right, you get it back, if you're wrong, you lose it for the rest of the game. This started when Ron was asked about a bad call at the plate, when a Twin was called out (he was obviously safe) to end the game and sent the Twins to a 13-12 defeat. Actually Ron, you did have a 12-2 lead at one time. Maybe you should have thrown a red flag at your bullpen.
***IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, TRY THIS***
Ron also came up with the idea of red and yellow cards for Umpires to use on managers, like soccer. Good idea, but I'm sure the Umps would abuse it. I think you would see two yellow cards come out at the line up exchange before the game, eliminating the spirit of the program.
***MANNY BEING MANNY***
Manny got hit in the left arm by a pitch last night and was taken to the hospital. Nobody is sure if he broke his arm ...or a nail.
Okay, okay. I'm think I'm through with the female fertility drug thing.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Say No More
7/21/2009
American League
East
NY Yankees 56 37 .607
Boston 55 38 .591
Tampa Bay 20 42 .553
Toronto 46 48 .489
Baltimore 41 52 .441
Vod
Mantle or Musial
MANTLE VS. MUSIAL
Ted Marchman has started a debate as to whether Mantle or Musial was the better player. Of course, you had to know that Bill James, numbers man (and Boston Red Sox employee) was behind this. Through some elaborate and confusing numbers manipulation, James has come up with the W.A.R.P. - Wins Above Replacement Player. Using every stat imaginable, he claims to be able to determine how many more wins a player would provide over an "average" player. I'm not sure I understand how he determined what an "average" player could do, but that's his system.
Career-wise, Musial outscored Mantle 128-120. He does admit that Musial played 4 more years and had 3000 more at-bats, but he also says Musial missed a prime year to military service.
I leave it to you: you're on a playground choosing up sides. You pick first and Mantle and Musial are standing there. Who do you pick?
I thought so.
...THE YANKS ARE COMIN'...
Nothing like a winning streak and a tie for first place, but... three straight 2-1 games and only 4 hits yesterday. Great pitching but if the Yanks expect to go anywhere, it's their bats that will take them there.
***SUPERSTITIONS AND RITUALS***
Baseball players have always had their little performances to celebrate their accomplishments but it's really gotten a tad extreme. The high (and low) fives started it, then there was the forearm "bash". Now we have the ridiculously long and complicated 'handshakes' that have to be different for each player. I wonder how much time they take to come up with these and then practice them and, of course, remember them. The Yanks now have walk-off celebrations which include the "Helmet Toss," followed by the "Helmet Catch," the "Group Bounce," and the "Whipped Cream Towel In The Face." It's catching on; the Padres have already picked it up, but they probably won't have too much need for it. At least the enthusiasm is there.
***PEDRO IS ALMOST READY***
Martinez, who is on the 15-day DL, says he's getting closer. Says Pedro, "I threw in the Dominican and now I'm ready to throw here. A simulated game, a side session, a rehab start and then the Majors." Right, Pedro, followed by a workout , a warm-up, one inning pitched and then 15 more days on the DL. We can hardly wait.
***THE BEST DEAL FOR HALLADAY***
Much as I hate to admit it, Ozzie Guillen of the White Sox has the best idea. "Take our roster and pick ANY five guys. If we don't win the World Series, we get them back." Interesting concept.
***THE COST OF SANTANA***
You reap what you sow: the Mets gave away the farm for Johann Santana and now with everyone hurt, the cupboard is bare. I think Omar Minaya has lost his genius tag. And no Willy Randolph to blame it on.
***I DIDN'T KNOW THIS***
Baseball players are taxed in the individual states in which they play. No wonder states LOVE to have the Yanks there: for example, Alex Rodriguez had to pay nearly $42,000 in state income taxes to Minnesota for the three days he played there. Wait till freshman Senator Al Franken learns that little tidbit.
***THIS DOESN'T BODE WELL***
Tonight's starter for the Yanks is Sergio Mitre, who is coming off Tommy John surgery and a positive drug test suspension. He has a career 10-23, 5.36 ERA record. Hope that bullpen is rested (no problem, according to Vod).
Sunday, July 19, 2009
SORRY
Are you guys sure you want me back?
Hail to the Chief
What?
Melky is hitting almost 50 points higher than Nick Swisher but Swishers OBP is 14 points higher.
Robinson Cano has one of the lowest AVG and OBP differentials in the majors, a meger 23 points.
In 4 at bats on Sunday, lead off batter Derek Jeter saw a total of 8 pitches, including one strikeout. Why to grind out those at bats, Jeet. Of course he did get two hits to raise his AVG to .325.
Johnny Damon may be the most hilarious, starting left fielder the Yankees have ever had. His fielding is the funniest stand-up - or fall down - comedy in the majors.
David Ortiz struck out 3 times with RISP today. I'm pleased. I'm also confused. Ortiz has 1 triple this season. How could that happen?
Joe Girardi, that burner of bullpens (according to He Who Must Not Be Named), does not have a single reliever on staff in the top 20 relievers in innings pitched. Damned devious to burn up his pen by limiting their innings pitched!
Meet me in Cognito
Vod
Friday, July 17, 2009
A LITTLE ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
Yes, for testing positive for drugs. I wonder if Selig will allow them to "rehab" in the majors.
***LEFTCOASTSPORTSBABE.COM***
"Bud Selig recently said the Pittsburgh Pirates are “on the right track.” The Pirates are well on their way of their 17th consecutive losing season. It may be the right track, but it’s the wrong direction."
"When Padres’ fans were asking if the team should fire their hitting coach, the responses were equally divided. Half the fans said “Yes,” the others responded “We HAVE a hitting coach?”"
"From Jay Leno: "Manny Ramirez is being suspended for 50 games for taking a banned substance believed to be a woman's fertility drug. While some people are calling it a suspension, Manny's calling it maternity leave."
***WELL, OH YEAH?***
LA Sparks women's basketball coach, Mike Cooper, on the return of Candace Parker after giving birth in May. "Let's see Michael Jordan do that. The worst thing he had to do was play while fighting a cold. He's not half the woman Candace is." Hope not.
***YOU DO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE GAME, HOWEVER***
Dealing with the 2nd most important activity at a baseball game: The beer! In Boston, a 12oz beer will cost you $7.25, while in Pittsburgh, a 21oz beer costs $4.75. Which means you can get blitzed twice as fast for half the cost in Pittsburgh. And you need to.
***CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEWEST YANKEE FAN***
Little Sawyer Stockslader (can't wait to see that on the back of a uniform) will be christened this weekend.
The 2nd half of the season starts for the Yanks tonight against Detroit. Looking forward to some more Michael Kay-isms, too.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE SEEN IT ALL...
Who is their General Manager, Groucho Marx?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
HALFWAY SURPRISES
#1 The Met's season may be done, but not because of any swoon. You can't lose Reyes, Beltram, Delgado and half your rotation and expect to be in the race.
#2 What happened to Cleveland? Picasner's pick to win the AL Central has a W/L record that's the worst in the majors, if you don't count Washington. (The baseball team, not the government, although that may fit, also)
#3 How can a team (The Yanks) look so good in one series and so inept in another?
#4 The Angels lose two big boppers and keep on winning. Smoke? Mirrors? A great manager?
#5 The Dodgers have the best record in baseball. A weak division can only be part of the answer.
#6 Manny is taking female hormones and yet his hair style still leaves a lot to be desired.
#7 The word out of Seattle is that Ichiro's teammates like him again.
#8 Who would you rather have: Swisher (.237 ave, 14 HRs, 47 RBIs and .360 OBP) or Abreu (.311 ave, 6 HRs, 58 RBIs, and .407 OBP)? Both making $5 million this year, and play Right Field like they're afraid of grass. Actually, this probably isn't a surprise. Nice work, Cashman.
#9 We heard all winter that Jeter has lost a step, can't hit or hit for power, and his fielding range is even worse. Well, he's the Al starting shortstop in the All-Star exhibition with a shot at being this year's AL MVP. See how far a great personality will take you?
#10 Is Toronto really going to trade Halladay? There's a lot against it: Blue Jays want 3 grade-A prospects plus a couple more, they won't let anyone talk to Halladay until AFTER the trade is finalized, Halladay has a no-trade clause and they WON'T trade within their division, which eliminates the two clubs best able to meet their demands. Plus, there is talk that they might want to include Vernon Wells in the deal. I can't see this going down.
#11 Picasner and Vod have not come to blows. And we won't. But we will share a couple of beers.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Innocence Lost
One of theses days we’ll all welcome Picasner back from the 19th century when men were men and pitchers pitched 40 complete games in a season. In the meantime, we’re all stuck in 2009 while Picasner plays interminable reruns of “Back to the Future” and moans nostalgically for the good old days that never were. (Ouch! Only teasing because I know you can take it and, more likely, ignore it.)
I can tell you from years of experience, the only time Picasner has ever accused me of “arbitrary” negativity was when I failed to remind him to bring enough beer to a party or if I had an opinion that differed from one of his formed in, and unmodified since, 1954.
Picasner sets up the straw man “…I suppose if EVERYONE does it…” and then erroneously blames one instance of a strategy not producing a win. The problem was not that Papelbon failed but rather that the Red Soxs did not score in the bottom of the 9th. I find the opinions of Joe Torre, Terry Francona, Joe Madden and other successful major league managers more compelling logically and in their ability to achieve intended outcomes than Picasner’s harkening to discarded strategies of yesteryear. There’s less than a six pack of Yankees still playing with World Series rings from the late, great teams, and all of those teams had great relievers, you know who they are, specifically for the 7th, 8th, and 9th innings, and a long reliever – a couple three innings – when necessary. When you manage in New York, Boston, LA, and many other cities, you manage to win, today, everyday. If you don’t, you’re gone. Right, Willy?
Picasner asks, “In this day and age, when 'elite' closers are coddled and protected, why use him in that situation?” I do hope that Picasner someday has the opportunity to ask Mariano Rivera how he feels about being coddled and the answer is, it gives you the best chance of winning today. Final Answer.
Picasner continues, “Of course this is a business. That doesn't make it right to prostitute a whole special event in pursuit of the dollar. It happens in a lot of cases, like the World Series schedule.” I might remind our idealistic friend that even Newt Gingrich, that scion of Republican roll-your-own, f__k-your-buddy apologists, has written that “Where business prevails, ethics always suffer.” Owners run their organizations to maximize profit. If that means playing a game at 12:10 am on Nov. 1st, so be it. Tilt at all the windmills you like. Your righteous indignation (Is there any other kind?) is duly noted and series games will start 22 minutes earlier this year. Feel better?
“…advocating the sport…”? Since day one when a player asked for more money, “Baseball is a game, and money should never sully our sport.”, replied the owners. When players complained they were no more than indentured servants bound by the reserve clause, “Play for me or no one else, because it’s a business and we need to be protected.”, said the owners. That was the dark side, Picasner.
It’s religion. Major league baseball is, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, a business. And in the case of the Yankees, the team is one of several production companies that supplies entertainment to YES for commercial distribution. Amen.
“I believe the original intent was…”, if you complete that phrase with anything other than …to make money, you’re 1) naïve 2) dreaming 3) wrong 4) all of the above. Owners throughout baseball history have been among the most nefarious monopolists in our history. George Will and his ilk love to revel in the appointment of Judge Kenisaw Mountain Landis as Commissioner was a selfless act on the part of the owners that “saved the national pastime.” Landis’ major contributions were institutionalizing the servitude of players and pushing players of color out of major league baseball and keeping them out, a tradition upheld until Jackie Robinson was “allowed” to play. Ah, for the good old days.
Picasner and I share a common background. Our formative ideas of “baseball” developed in the 1950’s when we were kids unable and with no need to separate our sport, sandlot baseball, from the business of major league baseball. When we were 12 in 1956 growing up in Oswego, New York, what did we know about the reserve clause, racism in baseball or in any other aspect of American culture? Little or nothing. Did we know Mickey Mantle as a mortally damaged alcoholic or an idol to admire? What we knew is that if you played on a team that had a sponsor who provided hats and shirts, that was fat city.
Romanticizing the past prevents us from honestly assessing current events, and no generation may be guiltier of that self-delusion than we early boomers.
Spend some time talking to middle teens playing ball on summer traveling teams. They’ll tell you how they started their “careers” in Little League, played in Babe Ruth, got recruited to play on traveling teams with budgets for equipment, buses, hotels, and meals, recruited by college coaches with promises of partial or full rides. These kids know intimately that baseball is a business. You don’t need to look farther than your local Little League to find players that are protected and coddled.
Please, no more nostalgic laments about the game losing its innocence and that we shouldn’t …”passively sit by like we don't notice.” The game of baseball, the sport, lost its innocence with the passing of sandlot ball. Major league baseball was born out of desire for money and power. It never had any innocence to lose.
So…watch the Home Run Derby tonight and enjoy it. Watch the game Tuesday, or not. If you do, you’re likely to see pitchers who paint corners, fielders with great range and shot gun arms, or, in the case of Derek Jeter, a player who is so much more than the sum of his parts, and hitters that can center pitches that astonish mortal men. And following the game, just like the owners, the players will slide into their limos and fly private jets to mansions all over a country in the throes of the greatest economic upheaval since the Great Depression.
How sweet it is.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
What Was That Rumble?
The ground shook, the windows rattled, and the dog ducked for cover. Was it an unearthly clap of thunder? A volcano erupting in upstate New York? No, it was Picasner’s head exploding as Teixeira struck out and A-Roid grounded into a double play to extinguish a bases loaded, no-out threat in the 7th inning, with the Steinbrenners trailing by 2 in, where else, Anaheim.
After clawing their way into a 1st place tie with Boston the Yankees, predictably, dropped 3 straight to the Angels in California. And they did it with such vigor, getting hammered into oblivion in the first two games. Aroid pegging throws up the 1st base line, Derek Jeter doing his Luis Castillo imitation, Joba being Joba (not getting out of the 4th) and Pettite being Joba (not getting out of the 5th), and Robertson, egad, being Robertson, and Mariano getting another three day vacation.
I do hope Steinbrenner Corp. fans everywhere are comforted by “Zingy’s” (please shoot David Cone, please) post-game comments that, all in all, the Yankees should feel pretty good about their first half. Kenny, the eternal corporate pitchman, must be making a move to fill the Billy Mays vacuum. Flash, the Master of Monotone (please, drop acid in his vitamin water, please), actually brought a bit of reason to the conversation droning that it’s not a good thing to have a starting rotation in shambles. Still, none of the Steinbrenner Corp. Newspeakers has had the bollicks to bring attention to what is arguably the worst outfield in the AL East. And Eric Hinske is not the solution to any problem.
Well, let’s all take a breath for Picasner’s favorite summer non-event, the All Star game, and wish our leader a speedy cranial recovery
No fans anywhere deserve a break from watching their heroes more than the current Steinbrenner loyalists.
Friday, July 10, 2009
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Ryan Dempster, Chicago Cubs: Broke his toe jumping over the dugout fence to celebrate a win.
Kyle Farnsworth, KC Royals: Cut his hand trying to break up a fight between 2 of his dogs.
Freddie Sanchez, Pirates: Hurt his back getting out of a cab.
Rickie Romero, Toronto Blue Jays: strained his oblique when he sneezed.
Chris Dickerson, Cincinnati Reds: knocked himself out walking into a glass door.
Conditioning coaches everywhere had to cringe at this one---
Scott Eyre, Philadelphia Phillies: Strained a calf muscle running to the mound from the bullpen.
***WONDER WHY WE NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE***
A quote from Ryan Church after the Mets traded him: "They're gonna have to change all the signs. I know everything and I'm telling everybody." At least he's not bitter.
***OH, COME ON***
Supposedly, Pedro Martinez has his fastball up to 93 MPH. ...Can a radar gun be on steroids?