Sunday, January 31, 2016


I call the period between the World Series and the start of spring training in baseball, The Silly Season. Vod says there is also one that takes place every four years during the Presidential elections.
It appears that in sports, at least, it's ongoing and at all levels. I suppose you could also describe politics as a never-ending Silly Season.

Vod has a better handle on the political scene, so I'll leave that to him.

In sports, we may be leaving "Silly" in the rear view mirror and proceeding to idiotic at a breakneck clip.
** College basketball  
If you don't like the refs calls, just trip him as he runs down the court. Don't forget to say you're sorry, you didn't mean to trip him. Jarmal Reid of Oregon has mastered this one. He'll be suspended for what, three games? Four? Certainly not more than that.
If you dunk the basketball, make sure you puff up and pose so everybody in the arena - and especially the other team - knows how good you are. Actually, all you've proven is that you're tall. Don't believe me? Watch ESPN's Top Ten plays. At least four of them will be dunks and NONE of them exhibiting any athletic ability except the ability to jump and land without falling down.
**College football
If you're a star, you can do whatever you want. College rules don't apply to you, team rules maybe just a little - very little. State laws, well that's why you have an agent and a lawyer, even though you're not supposed to (see the first two sentences). And above all, women are there for your pleasure.
Jameis Winston was accused by a former student at Florida State of raping her. Winston denied the charges, the school reluctantly "investigated," and did nothing. The woman sued, and finally the school has basically given her $950,000 to just go away. BUT, now FSU president John Thrasher has said that "...we would have won the case in court," so basically that this was just a cost-effective solution. You don't have to be a college graduate to see through this nonsense. If I were Winston and I was innocent, I would not pay one red cent to walk away from this. I would insist on being cleared.
**Professional football
You must spend more time designing and practicing your end zone dance than your playbook. After all, that's how you show the world what a great player you are. I've scored a touchdown. Hooray for me!
If you're a coach, you're job is to win - at all costs. So if you have to bend the rules a little - or a lot - go ahead. Translate the rules in a 'different' way. Tamper with equipment. Spy on the other teams practices. And above all, deny, deny, deny. You can even pay a fine but still deny. Watch Patriots owner Bob Kraft display this tactic.
If you're the NFL president, you can stress how concerned the league is with player safety, deny that serious concussions take place and then institute laws to address the increase in concussions.
**Professional baseball
If you're a player, always assume you are worth 3 times what you really are. Tell reporters you're insulted that a team only offered you $8 million a year when you're clearly worth $15 million. After all, you have a family to feed.  Don't forget to insist you want to sign with a team that can win, that it's not about the money. Say it loudly because NOBODY believes that.
Team owners offer a fading star millions of dollars for umpteen years for that drawing power which fades along with the star's ability. Don't worry about the cost, make it up at the concession stands. People don't mind paying $8 for a hot dog and $12 for a beer. And parking is certainly worth $25. 
Rumor has it that one of the top pro players accepted a bribe to lose a match. So far, a lot of denials, but I don't know what to believe anymore. 
The football Pro-Bowl is on today. I'd watch it if I knew who was playing. The roster limit is 44 players. So far, 45 players have passed on playing because of injuries(?). Maybe they can get some of those Punt, Pass and Kick kids to play.
No interest? Okay, watch the NHL All-Star game. One of the worst players (but the best brawler) has been chosen for the game. Not only chosen, but he's been named the Captain!  Yeah, that sounds right.
Then there's the hockey player, Dennis Wideman,  who skated halfway across the ice after a ref he was unhappy with. He hit him from behind with both arms, driving the ref face first onto the ice. Afterwards  he claimed it was "accidental and unavoidable."  Sure, it was:

"The Lakers announced plans for a life-size bronze statue of Shaquille O’Neal outside Staples Center. It’ll be just like Shaq, only lighter and more mobile."  -- RJ Currie
"Police were called over an “incident” potentially involving Johnny Manziel and his ex-girlfriend early Saturday morning.  So congrats to all those who had January 30 in the last pool."  -- Janice Hough
"There is a new European-made movie that shows paint drying. Good, now I have something to do during Sunday's Pro Bowl."  -- Brad Dickson
"Greenpeace claims that China’s worsening air quality is due to a windless winter there.Problem solved! We’ll just lend them Dick Vitale for a few days."  -- Dwight Perry
"Security for the Super Bowl features fighter jets, helicopters and K-9 units: “Or as Bay Area football fans call such extreme measures, a regular-season Raiders game.”  -- Jim Barach
"An NFL player is about to become a father for the 12th time with nine different women. So today, he was traded to the NBA."  -- Conan OBrien
"We might have a winner for the year in the #Youhadonejob, and it goes to the guy in charge of painting the end zones for Super Bowl 50 at Levi’s Stadium – they painted TWO with the Broncos logo.  And forgot about the Panthers."  -- Janice Hough
" There are allegations of match-fixing in professional tennis. You look at pro tennis. Football. Major League Baseball. Boxing. Soccer. Soon, our cleanest event will be the Tour de France."  -- Brad Dickson
"Reporters with a social conscience like to paint a stark contrast between Super Bowl glamour and celebrity parties, and the “have-nots” across town living in poverty. However, that will not be possible this year because Santa Clara is affluent and has shipped both of its homeless people to San Jose for the week."  -- Greg Cote
"Kobe Bryant was asked if he’ll pursue a spot on the next U.S. Olympic basketball team. To everyone’s surprise, he said he’d pass."  -- RJ Currie
"Tyronn Lue is the new coach of the Cavs. Take that, Husker basketball detractors. One of our own is telling Kevin Love what to do. One of our own is telling LeBron what — OK, well, he’s telling Love."  -- Brad Dickson


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