Thursday, December 31, 2015


We are ready to embark on a new journey. In college football, we await their new playoff system in which fours teams are not complaining about being short-changed in the rankings. The rest will all claim they belong there. Urban Meyer has Ohio St. ready to go. His team is rested and his star running back Ezekiel Elliott is ready too, he just can't drive. He was stopped for speeding, got so many tickets, the cop almost got writers cramp issuing citations. Is he suspended for the Fiesta Bowl? Of course not. This is Ohio St. Laws take a back seat to the "Program." Clemson sent three players home because they failed drug tests. Failed...or got caught?

The NFL completes it's regular season this weekend with a number of teams still fighting for a playoff spot. The rest will be trying to save their coaches jobs. A few will be unsuccessful.
In spite of the NFL continually trying to convince us that they are family oriented, the San Diego Chargers fined all-pro safety Eric Weddle $10,000 and placed him on IR  for watching his 7-year old daughter perform at halftime instead of being in the locker room. In a meaningless game, his team was ahead 23-0 at the time. Bah! Humbug!

The Syracuse Orange lost to Pittsburgh last night and will try again on Saturday against a Miami team whose only loss was by one point against Nebraska. No New Years joy for the Saltine Warriors (Google it).

We've been waiting for Brian Cashman to make a big move and he finally did. The Yanks are the proud owners of a flame-throwing left-handed reliever to give NY the best end bullpen in baseball. They've also acquired a player with a history of women beating. Unfortunately, it's the same person. It will be interesting to see how the NY fans react to him. My prediction? If he strikes out the side in the ninth to save a victory the first or second time out, all will be forgiven.

There may be an additional starting pitcher yet to come, but other than that, the team is complete. Many question marks and few answers. One of the problems is third baseman Chase Headley's defense. He made 23 errors last season when he had never made more than 13 in a season. 11 of his errors were throwing errors which lead some evaluators to think he has the "yips," a mental block when a player can't throw the ball accurately...or at all. Vod refers to that as a"Knob-block" after Chuck Knoblach, who suffered for a long time with that affliction. The good news is that Headley hasn't made any errant throws in months.

In closing, the Chad Picasner at Large team wishes everyone a happy and prosperous New Year.
May all your teams go undefeated  -- unless you're the Boston Red Sox.

"Donald Trump is supporting Pete Rose. I’m going to guess those two met at the barber shop."  -- Brad Dickson
"Mean Gene” Okerlund, the retired rasslin’ announcer, celebrated his 70th birthday at the Waterfront restaurant in Sarasota, Fla. In keeping with the theme, the daily special was sautéed cauliflower ears and pulled hare."  -- Dwight Perry

"Reserve Alabama cornerback has been sent home from the Cotton Bowl by Nick Saban for a “violation of team rules,” Proving once again that coach Saban can be a strict disciplinarian. As long as a reserve player and not a starter is involved."  -- Janice Hough
"The Huffington Post reports a washroom fight broke out among Giants fans during their loss to the Panthers. It all started when someone said the G-Men’s season was down the toilet."  -- RJ Currie
"Just in case Nick Saban’s $6.9 million yearly salary from Alabama isn’t enough to, you know, tide him over, he receives a $125,000 bonus for capturing the SEC title"  -- Bob Molinaro
"ESPN’s Ron Jaworski incorrectly announced that the NFL had overturned Odell Beckham’s one-game suspension. Jaworski was the host of ‘NFL Today, but now he’s the host of the Miss Universe Pageant."  -- Argus Hamilton
"Harlem Globetrotters icon Meadowlark Lemon died Sunday at age 83. Something tells us St. Peter just got a bucket of confetti dumped on his head."  -- Dwight Perry
" The Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year is Serena Williams. Or American Pharaoh if you ask Steve Harvey."  -- RJ Currie
"Nebraska won the NCAA volleyball championship at Omaha’s CenturyLink Center in front of the largest crowd to watch a college volleyball championship game — 17,561. On the downside the CenturyLink Center restrooms could almost accommodate the 561."  -- Brad Dickson

And finally, speaking for all the comedy writers out there:
"As we are about to begin a new year, I’d just like to take a moment to thank Florida. If it wasn’t for Florida I may not have had a career."  -- Brad Dickson


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