Sunday, September 06, 2015


I'm confused. If you go to the ballpark, you will hear vendors call out, "You can't tell the ballplayers without a scorecard. Here are some cases where a scorecard would really help - except I can't find one, even on e-bay.

Roger Goodell says he is the Commissioner of the NFL (The No Fun League). Under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, Goodell thinks he has the right to apply whatever discipline he wants to any situation against either a player, coach, team or owner for any violation regardless of the crime. That's a pretty big sword to hand to any one person. The courts have now decided that that's not true. Goodell still thinks he is king of the hill, the players see a crack in the armor and the owners just want to know how much will this cost. So I ask again, "Who's In Charge Here?"

Mets pitcher Matt Harvey is coming off TJ surgery and has thrown 165 innings so far this year. His doctor has [decreed - suggested - guessed] that 180 innings should be the limit this year. The Mets General Manager, Sandy Alderson, says there is no such limit and THEY will decide how long he will pitch. Matt Harvey has been silent so far. His agent, Scott Boras (pause, while everyone genuflects), says 180 is THE limit, end of discussion. Manager Terry Collins says Harvey's arm will tell us when to shut him down. Two years ago, the Washington Nationals, with a solid chance to make the playoffs,  shut down their ace pitcher, Stephen Strasburg, after 183 innings. Washington missed the playoffs. If the Mets are going to go deep in the playoffs, they are going to need their ace. So...W I C H?

Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira is out for who knows how long. The only regular firstbaseman left on the roster is rookie Greg Bird. If they want to give him a night off, who replaces him? Well there are a lot of options, none of them very good. Manager Joe Girardi says he would put A-Rod there in a pinch. GM Brian Cashman says no way. A-Rod says nobody has said anything to him. Girardi has repeated his opinion and so has Cashman. Teixeira better heal up soon, because the Yankees obviously don't know W I C H.

By the way, what's up with this "W" logo. Does it belong to Wegman's grocery chain? Walgreens? The Washington Nationals? Right now, when I see this, I don't know if I'm supposed to buy my dinner, see a ball game or fill a prescription? Can someone help? W I C H?


"BYU players included Toloa’i Ho Ching, Ului Lapuaho, Travis Tuiloma and Moroni Laulu-Pututau. Considering this, who would ever want to be the public address announcer?"  -- Brad Dickson
 --My spell-check program just crashed. - CP
"Waze Navigation signed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski to be the voice of a GPS app. Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"CoCo Vandeweghe totaled her tennis racket — smashing it five times — after falling behind 5-0 in her second-round match at the U.S. Open. In other words, she went CoCo for Koo-Koo Puffs"  -- Dwight Perry
"Northwestern defeated Stanford in The Battle of Teams Whose Players Actually Study."  -- Brad Dickson
"Washington has announced that Cousins and not RGIII will be their starter. Sort of like the Titanic announcing a new captain taking over after hitting the iceberg?"  -- Janice Hough
"After Edwin EncarnaciĆ³n's third homer in one game, Toronto fans threw caps on the field in hockey’s hat-trick tradition. Probably because they didn’t get a chance to throw them at Leafs’ games."  -- RJ Currie
" In May, an Ohio newspaper published the results of an investigation that suggested those parents who saved or were saving money for their kids’ Ohio college educations would rise in revolt if they knew how much of their money was being applied to football and basketball. So if you save to send your kid to college, you will be sending two — yours and someone on the football team."  -- Phil Mushnick
"In the Little League World Series championship game, a team from Japan defeated one from Pennsylvania. I’d still like to commend the Philadelphia Phillies for giving it their all."  -- Brad Dickson
"Patriots QB Tom Brady beat the NFL in court. Brady was pretty psyched, but I thought it was a bit much when he dumped a bucket of Gatorade on the judge’s head."  -- Jimmy Fallon
"Taking a midday nap can help lower blood pressure and decrease the risk of a heart attack, according to findings presented at the European Society of Cardiology Conference. Or, as doctors in Cleveland put it, “Take these two Browns tickets and call me in the morning."  -- Dwight Perry
"A friend gave me a ticket from the Angels-Orioles game of Sept. 6, 1995 (right), 20 years ago today, Cal Ripken’s 2,131st consecutive game to break Lou Gehrig’s record. It was for a seat in a luxury suite. Cost? Eighteen dollars. Today, $18 leaves you $27 short of a space in the Yankee Stadium parking lot."  -- Phil Mushnick  {Wait till you try to get into the Stadium - CP}


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