Friday, February 01, 2013


## The sports pages are full of talk that the Yanks want to dump A-Rod. They may want to, but it's highly doubtful that they'll be able to. The Players Association will block any attempt to void A-Rod's contract, regardless of what MLB decides to do. MLB may suspend him for 50 games, maybe even 100, but that's probably the worst case scenario. It is possible that A-Rod's hip does not come around and he's forced to retire, in which case insurance will take on the major portion of his remaining $114 million dollars. That's probably all the Yanks could hope for.

## Brace yourselves. The Super Bowl is coming. The good news is that the pre-game show will start at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday, 8 1/2 hours before the game. The bad news is, they will televise the whole 8 1/2 hours.
What could they possibly say that they haven't covered at least three times already this week? About all that's left is putting the two Harbaugh parents in a mud pit and letting them wrestle for a couple of hours. Of course, put 100 professional athletes in front of a microphone for a couple hours all week, and someone will take a big bite out of their own foot.
Randy Moss claims he's the best receiver ever, even though the numbers prove otherwise. Chris Culliver has proven he's a homophobe and his "apology" wouldn't even make the waiting list for Oprah's confessional programs.

The actual game won't start until 6:30, in order to make sure that every human (& non-human) interest story has been aired. I'm sure the networks would like to start it later, but we'll be lucky if the game ends by 11:00 p.m.  Why such a late start? Phil Mushnick of the NY Post has the answer. Money! Is anyone surprised?
Mushnick says the late start has killed the Super Bowl Party. If the game started at 2:00, people could congregate in a tavern or a home, eat, drink, cheer and have a grand old time and still get home by 7:00 or 8:00, and be able to get to work on time the next day without that ringing headache that follows a good time. But no, the sponsors want you home, alone, in an easy chair, paying attention to those $3.8 million 30-second commercials for their products. They don't care who wins the game, what song Beyonce lip-synchs or who has a wardrobe malfunction at halftime. They would prefer that you know the names of all the Clydesdales by the end of the evening, especially if you have a Budweiser in one hand and a Taco Bell taco in the other.

I guess it's time for my prediction. I think GO Daddy.Com will have the sexiest commercial and Fed-Ex will have the best commercial.     ....Oh yeah, they'll probably squeeze in a football game.  ... if we're lucky.

"Yahoo! says JaMarcus Russell dropped 12 pounds and is nearer to making a comeback. In related news, I cut my hair and am closer to dating Anne Hathaway."  -- RJ Currie
"Beyonce is rehearsing the Super Bowl half time show by practicing lip syncing both her own and Madonna’s songs. Just in case a malfunction plays last year’s soundtrack.”  -- TC Chong
"The world's most famous circus is cutting jobs. Quick, raise your hands if you thought I meant the N.Y. Jets."  -- RJ Currie
"A Baltimore Ravens' cheerleader claims she is being barred from the game after she told the Ravens she's quitting after this season. There wasn't a dry eye in the room when she had to turn in the dental floss and two postage stamps that serve as her uniform."  -- Brad Dickson
"Actress Ashley Judd and three-time Indy 500 champ Dario Franchitti are separating after 11 years of marriage, and the divvy-up has already begun. As in he gets the cars, she gets the Kentucky basketball tickets."  -- Dwight Perry
"Rumor has it that the NY Yankees are looking at the latest PED allegations swirling around Alex Rodriguez as a way to void his contract. Of course, A-Rod could look at his recent history with the Yankees as evidence that his performance has clearly not been enhanced."  -- Janice Hough
"This Super Bowl will be a little different. Instead of miking up a player, a microphone will be placed on Beyonce to see if she's actually singing."  -- Brad Dickson


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