THE REAL STORY

***YANKS LOSE THIRD IN A ROW***
I played softball (when I was younger, obviously), both fast-pitch and slo-pitch. I was never successful hitting slo-pitch and evidently, neither are the Yankees. It's almost embarrassing to watch the Yanks swing and miss at 78 mph pitches that are also a foot outside. Then when they gear up (down?) for the changeup, they freeze up when a 90 mph fastball wanders over the plate.

***THE NBA FINALS***
No, I don't watch them. I don't recognize that as basketball, since you can take as many steps as you want without dribbling, swing on the rim for a few minutes and carry the ball like a loaf of bread. Why worry about one bad call? Wait two minutes, there will be more.

***SPEAKING OF BAD CALLS***
I didn't see the USA soccer game since I was busy counting the same heads for the third time (it is 'Government' work, after all). I read about the "phantom foul" call and was appalled until I found out the referee was French. We all know what bastions of truth and honesty they are when it comes to officiating sports events. I seem to recall an Olympic ice skating scandal a few years back. Never fear sports fans, when told that in soccer, refs don't have to explain calls or even divulge them, Joe West immediately applied for the job.

***THE YES NETWORK***
When the Yanks are getting beat, I have been known to lose interest in the game. Apparently, so does the crack(ed) announcing team that sits in the booth. Since there seemed to be nothing interesting going on during the game, we were forced to watch clips of Paul O'Neil tantrums, listen to descriptions of the steak dinners they were given and watch telecasts of the three "announcers" eating quarts of ice cream. I guess YES now stands for Yankee Entertainment and Stuff-yourself Network.

***I DON'T WATCH GOLF, EITHER***
Some sports just don't translate well to TV. I don't golf, so maybe I don't understand the subtleties of the game, but I did bowl and I don't watch that on TV either. By the way, I think the "low-price" story was really a joke.

***FROM JANICE HOUGH***
More disturbing World Cup news from Marc Ragovin, "Paris Hilton was arrested last night for flashing her vuvuzela in public."