THINGS ARE LOOKING UP -- FOR SOME

***YANKS WIN A DOUBLEHEADER***
Well, not officially, since the lords of baseball will NEVER miss a chance to sell the same seat twice in one day. More on this policy later. Minnesota continues to be snake-bit when it comes to playing the Yankees. Of course, it's hard to win when you only score two runs in two games. Jeter is starting to play like Jeter again: hitting in the clutch and making a game-saving defensive play. He needs to since Teixeira & A-Rod continue their season long funk at the plate. Somehow, they both have numbers that look decent (Tex has 30 RBIs & A-Rod is hitting .290), but I have no confidence in either when they're at the plate. Pettitte continues to amaze at age 37 and Swisher always seems to get a big hit just when you begin to wonder why he's playing. A big test for Vasquez tonight as the Yanks try to stay ahead of a red-hot Red Sox team.

***OH NO, JOE, NOT AGAIN***
Umpire (& I use the term loosely) Joe West is at it again. He called TWO balks on Mark Buehrle resulting in West's favorite activity - throwing guys out of the game. Way to go, Joe, you certainly don't want baseball interfering with your umpiring. After being tossed by West, Ozzie Guillen was not happy and not quiet:
"Joe has been like that for a lot of years, and he's always going to be like this," Guillen said, dropping several expletives throughout a rant that's certain to get a look from Major League Baseball. "I'm not going to change it, nobody is going to change it, but sometimes he thinks people pay to watch him umpire." Ozzie has been through this enough times to see what's coming: "Ill just wait for my fine." Mark Buehrle had a few words, too.
"I think he's too worried about promoting his CD [West is a country music singer and songwriter with his own website] and I think he likes seeing his name in the papers a little bit too much instead of worrying about the rules." You're probably going to lose a few dollars, too, Mark. Do you think baseball is ever going to wake up and can this clown? Probably not.

***SOSA RUNS FREE***
The House Committee on PED's in baseball will NOT be investigating Sammy Sosa for perjury after his 'testimony' before the committee. When asked to comment, Sosa replied, "I am extremely happy and feel justified that the Committee has chosen not to pursue this outlandish...what? Oh yeah. Sorry, no speaka English."

***...BUT WE NEED THE MONEY***
It is well known that the Yanks charge extremely high prices for tickets, but they haven't tried this trick...yet. The Los Angeles Dodgers are suing Jon Lovitz for non-payment of season tickets to their games. The Dodgers have already RESOLD those tickets, so why sue Lovitz? If they win their suit, it means, you got it, selling the same seats twice. If Lovitz loses and has to pay, could he then claim the seats he just paid for? Don't be silly, that would be a hardship on poor Mr McCourt, who happens to be going through a difficult divorce and needs that extra cash.

***FROM DWIGHT PERRY***
"Yogi Berra will be honored with a $125,000 statue outside his museum in Little Falls, N.J., depicting the Yankees Hall of Famer on one knee in the on-deck circle, holding two bats and gazing skyward."
"In keeping with Yogi tradition, the statue will be 90 percent half metal."

CP-