Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What Deficit?

H. Steinboober can suck a subway car through a garden hose. In his latest gig on the Professional Suckee Tour, he is poised to suck out an additional $372 million in tax-free financing for the new Yankee Stadium, aka Whorehouse, on top of the $1 billion in tax-exempt bonds issued in 2006 and the $500 million in tax breaks the city and state have already provided for our seemingly destitute favorites.

Meanwhile, the apparently penniless ‘boobers have hired a prominent Manhattan real estate brokerage. Prudential Douglas Elliman, to help sell premium seats at their newly constructed, bare bones Cathedral to Greed. Neil Sroka, president of Douglas Elliman said, “There’s been a lot of press about how expensive the seats are,” but quickly added that buyers can get a 20 game package for “as little as $7,000”. He proudly trumpeted the packages as a realistic option for people who “in this economic time are still looking for things to take their grandchildren and grandchildren to”.

I was concerned when our clueless Gov. announced this week that, in an effort to reduce an already astronomic budget deficit, the state was eliminating the Empire State Games Senior Division and was charging every qualifying high school athlete a $285 participation fee. But I am comforted that the money that would otherwise be wasted on supporting one of the country’s unique and most popular athletic programs can be diverted to our beloved ‘Boobers. Perhaps now the ‘Boobers can offer Andy Pettitte something more than the insulting $10 million 1 year deal he has been whining about or use the money saved from gutting the Empires to pay for less than 1/3 of an inning of C.C. Sabathia’s contract, or less than 1 A-Roid at bat or less than…. Excuse me, I need to scream up now.

Vod

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