Saturday, May 18, 2019

SOME OF YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER ME, BUT...

I just read that the Saskatoon Express has folded. The managing editor was Cam Hutchinson, a man with a great sense of humor and a marvelous writer. One of my favorite bloggers, RJ Currie, says his blog may cease also since it's tied in with the column he did for the Express. This can't be happening. We've already lost Brad Dickson who lost his column in the Omaha World-Whatever. Luckily he's on Twitter and does a weekly (hopefully) essay which is difficult to read without laughing till the tears come.
I've been too lazy to write for the last few months, but I think I ought to get back on that horse.

There must have been some weird vibe on Wednesday this week. Either that or some teams ran out of pitchers.
Atlanta scored 10 runs
Milwaukee scored 11
Minnesota got 11
Cleveland 14
Texas 16
Oakland had 17 runs
That's a total of  79 runs in six games. By way of reference, based on their average, it would take the Miami Marlins 29 games to score that many runs.

Many years ago in the Eastern League, there was a player named Blake Ball. He was a lot bigger than most hockey players and would get into fights and beat the ever-livin' crap out of the other skaters. He could stop fights by skating near other fighters and was called "The Enforcer." Apparently, that's the role CC Sabathia has taken on for the NY Yankees. Last season, he was ejected from a game for deliberately hitting an opposing batter. Last night, he tried three times to hit Rays hitter Austin Meadows and then allegedly cursed the Ray dugout as he left the mound.
The two teams don't like each other and they're playing for first place in AL East, so the last two games of the series should be interesting. Between Betances, Sabathia, Stanton and Judge have some pretty big Blake Ball- type players, so any kind of brawl might be very interesting.

New York may be the greatest city in the world, but they don't have the best front offices for their sports teams. The Jets can't figure out who is in charge, the Mets are dropping like a stone and the Knicks would have trouble having a winning record in the Oswego County High School League. At least the Yankees are showing the rest of baseball how to win with half the team on the Injured List. When a team can be in first place with a roster populated by the Scranton Railriders from a Triple-A league, it doesn't speak well for the rest of the AL East.

They say if you see enough games, you will see things you wouldn't believe. Bases loaded, one out and an easy ground ball to 2nd. You would expect a double play  and no runs scored. Well, the Baltimore Orioles had a different idea in mind. They Managed to get no outs and two runs scored when they messed up the play completely against Cleveland. Unbelievable.

Yankee fans (I assume they still are fans), sat thru a massive rain delay this week only to be told the game was cancelled at 10:00 PM. We could have told them that at 7:30. Normally when games get "postponed, teams schedule the make-up for a twi-night doubleheader. This is where they have two games in one day but you have to pay for both. Can't lose that payday, boys and girls. Well, after two rain-soaked postponements, the Yankees magnanimously scheduled ONE TICKET doubleheader. Two games for the price of one. I'm pretty sure the other 29 teams immediately censured the Yanks for this gesture. 

***THEY SAID IT***
"Only two games into Eastern Conference NBA finals, but looking like national sportswriters are going to have to start learning how to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo."  -- Janice Hough.
" Baltimore Orioles’ Chris Davis ended his record hitless streak this week at 54 at bats. The most embarrassing part was when his hitting coach pitched him beach balls in batting practice and he still struck out 4 times."  -- Tony Chong
"Americans are bored 131 days a year, according to a survey conducted by OnePoll researchers.
Which, as fate would have it, is exactly the same number of days from this year’s NFL draft to the season opener."  -- Dwight Perry
"NASA just announced it wants to have a woman walk on the moon in 2024. I'm thinking it should be Madonna."  -- Brad Dickson
"Boston swept Carolina out of the NHL playoffs with a 4-0 Game 4 shutout. The Bruins defense was so numbing, they turned the Hurricanes into the Novocaines."  -- RJ Currie

"A Babe Ruth jersey is expected to fetch $4.5 million at auction. It was ruled authentic after researchers found traces of three mustard and two beer stains."  -- Jim Barach
"That’s crazy. That’s rarer than a Chris Davis hit."  -- Cam Hutchinson
"Anyone know who the favorite for Saturday’s Preakness is? Yeah, me neither."   -- Janice Hough
"Helmet-maker Riddell is coming up with alternative designs for all 32 NFL teams. The San Francisco 49ers are now the Bay Area Self-Actualized Vegans."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"Tiger Woods’ redemptive win at the Masters was nearly undone in the third round when a security guard slipped and slid into Woods’ ankle, but it all worked out in the end. Tiger got his green jacket, and the guard got a yellow card."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Kentucky Derby is "the most exciting 2 minutes in sports." It follows "the dullest 5-hour pre-game show in sports."  -- Brad Dickson

" Zach Johnson hit his ball with a practice swing at the Masters. He was totally embarrassed when the entire gallery of patrols all chanted in unison – “one”  -- Tony Chong
"To ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel, on why he isn’t bothered about being only 17th on the NFL’s QB pay scale.  “My wife makes a lot of money.”  -- Tom Brady
"A recent study showing that walking faster helps people live longer. Especially for people trying to make their way on foot through New Orleans, Detroit and Chicago."  -- Jim Barach
"Bingo night took an unusual turn in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, when a TV monitor started showing porn. Now we know why the cards' free spaces said XXX."  -- RJ Currie
" The upside to being a race horse: unlike the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl a couple years ago Maximum Security still thinks he won. Today if anyone cuts me off in traffic and impedes my progress I'm gonna shout out the window: "What is this - the Kentucky Derby?!"  -- Brad Dickson

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