** The #1 rule for athletes (or what should be #1). Look like you've been there before. Aaron Judge belted another long, long home run last night. Did he pose at home plate? NO. Did he do a big bat flip? NO. Did he trot very slowly around the bases? NO. Did he affect some stupid pose while running the bases? No. He hit it, knew it was gone and trotted around the bases. THAT is the way to do it.
** Pablo Sandoval has resigned with the San Francisco Giants after being released by the Red Sox. The Panda's whole salary is being paid by the Red Sox, but the Giants won't be getting off scott-free. They will have to substantially increase the size of the post-game buffet now that Pablo has brought his fork and spoon to the west coast.
** Don't you think some pitchers should be declared illegal? Last night, Chris Sale looked like he accidentally wandered into a Little League game. As the Angels looked like a Little League team. Note: The Yankees have won both games that Sale has started against them this year. But they never beat him. After facing Sale, the Red Sox bullpen looked like Little Leaguers to the Yankee hitters.
** What's the date? OH yeah, it's July 22nd. ESPN has already declared that Houston & the Dodgers will meet in the World Series. I guess that's why ESPN allots at least one hour a day analyzing the coming pro-football season. Why are they bothering to play the rest of the baseball season. Couldn't be the money, could it? Nah!
** Sam Miller, in what I hope will be a very short tenure at ESPN, has declared that home run videos are the worst because you know what's going to happen. That's the criteria? Does that mean we shouldn't watch Chris sale pitch because we KNOW no one can hit him? I think Sam Miller may be there to make the other ESPN writers look smart. And while we're at it, please bring back Jamie Sire.
** Annie-O is disgusted because the Yanks are in an extended slump. Take heart, girl, NY still has the 3rd best record in the American League. In the NL, they would have the 5th best record. Both situations mean they would be in the playoffs. And there's still 65 games to go. Could be worse: you could be rooting for the Mets.
I have a prediction: When Aaron Hicks is added back onto the 25-man roster, the Yankees will release Jacoby Ellsbury. You can't keep Frasier, Judge and Hicks out of the line up. They will also keep Gardner.
** Another good game for Yankee rookie Clint Frasier and the Yankee announcers praised him to high heaven because...he slid into third base feet first. They even described it: right foot extended, spikes up and popped up onto the bag. Very dangerous, guys. He could have sprained an ankle. This business about sliding head first being so dangerous is starting to get to me. "Spikes up," yeah that's good. If the third baseman gets spiked, that's his problem I guess. Can we just let them play and not try to turn it into a geriatric softball game?
** "This will never happen" department. With all the worthless statistics that we have to listen to every night (Strike pct, exit velo, run saved,etc.), how about meaningful statistics only. I'm tired of hearing things like, "That's the most singles to left-center in a game where one team wears blue in a domed stadium on a week night by a left-handed hitter who recently shaved his mustache in the last 10 days." By the time I figure out what that means and how many players actually meet that criteria, the game is over and I still haven't learned anything significant.
** If you really want to help, keep track of how many strikes and balls are mis-called by the umpire and publish those percentages. Every move the players make is catalogued, why not the umpires?
(Never happen #2)
***THEY SAID IT***
"Consider the most common complaint I’ve fielded since this column began in 1982: Broadcasters who just won’t shut up, every play leads to, is worth forced discussion, analysis, opinion, explanation and debate." -- Phil Mushnick, NY Post [Amen, Brother - CP]
"The world's smelliest plant is now on display in Des Moines. This should be the worst odor in Des Moines until the Iowa State Fair food concessions open next month." -- Brad Dickson
"Canadians Sarah Pavan and Melissa Humana-Paredes won beach volleyball gold at the Porec Major — on Canada Day. Sometimes two thongs can make a right." -- RJ Currie
"Lavar Ball finalizes 3-year, 3-son deal to date Kardashians." -- SportsPickle.com
" SF Giants had "Game of Thrones" night at AT&T Park. Well, with team on pace to lose 100 games not a bad idea to remind fans “Winter is coming.” -- Janice Hough
"Viagra and Cialis said they'll no longer be advertising on NFL games. With cheaper generics flooding the market, competition is getting stiff" -- RJ Currie
" A professional marathoner in Maine outran two bears. His big concern? That these were Kenyan bears." -- Brad Dickson
"It seems only fitting that the Red Sox handed corpulent third baseman Pablo Sandoval a $90 million contract, then had to eat nearly half of it." -- Dwight Perry
"Pablo Sandoval said “a few teams” were interested in signing him. Is he talking baseball or competitive eating?" -- Janice Hough
"After the Knicks fired him, Phil Jackson tweeted a pic of his feet on a railing in front of a body of water. Knowing Jackson, it’s probably the Bermuda Triangle." -- RJ Currie [Obviously, RJ was hot this week - CP]
"There is online video of a wild moose chasing skiers down a slope. If this becomes an official event, I’d start watching the Winter Olympics again." -- Brad Dickson