Sometimes the world is just so completely cooperative. After Donald Trump was trashed at the White House press corps dinner and then had his mindless television show preempted by news that was actually important, I began to wonder where we might find the next national clown. And, behold! Newt The Namesake, yes Newt of The NEWT, announced his candidacy for President! What luck.
I certainly hope that Newt has consulted with his doctor to determine if he is healthy enough for the enormous strain of a presidential campaign and the attendant sex. After all, this is the same Newt who explained that the pressure of working as a congressman drove him to extramarital affairs. It seems that job truly worked him into a lather.
Given what he will face as a presidential candidate, the best advice that I can give is, ladies beware, The NEWT is loose.
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