Monday, March 22, 2010

WELL. IT IS TOURNAMENT TIME...

I know, baseball, Yankees and all that, but this is basketball's biggest (and best) stage.

***IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE***
Syracuse won by 22 points, but if they had heard what Robert Sacre, Gonzaga center, said before the game, Gonzaga might have been beaten by 52 points. "The Orange are soft," he said, "They're just a bunch of pretty boys," as he came out of the locker room to start the game. Apparently he turned the wrong way in the hallway because it didn't appear he showed up for the game.

***COULD BE A TOUGH WEEKEND FOR KENTUCKY***
Sure they're playing a 12-seed, Cornell, but the Big Red has shown that they are not overwhelmed by being in the big show. They sure played Syracuse tougher than Gonzaga did and they'll have the "home field" advantage in the Dome this week.

***SOME ANALYSTS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS***
Jay Bilas knows what he's talking about, Dick Vitale gives me a migraine, Bill Raftery needs a name change, but Digger Phelps takes the cake. Instead of his characteristic matching marker and tie, he should just be given a shovel. When asked what he thought about the match-ups for the Sweet 16, Digger was at his "best," ignoring the question and launching into his best trite-filled, ex-coaching bulls**t: "THIS TIME OF YEAR, YOU BETTER HIT THE GLASS...AND PLAY DEFENSE, OTHERWISE IT COULD BE TROUBLE," he screamed and looked at the other announcers. They just stared at him. Didn't know you had to play defense, did you?

***ESPN COMMERCIALS ARE MY FAVORITE***
They use their own staff and major sports figures and usually make fun of themselves. And they're hilarious. The latest is a spoof of Superman/Lois Lane, using my girl, Hannah Storm and LeBron James. Really funny and played for real by the two stars.

***FROM MIKE LOPRESTI, ROCHESTER D & C***
"All-Americans Sherron Collins, Kansas, Scottie Reynolds, Villanova, James Anderson, Okla State, and Luke Harangody of Notre Dame, put up enough bricks in the tournament to build their own school."

***FROM CENTER OMAR SAMHAN OF ST. MARYS***
One of his text messages read, "I can't believe you won. You really messed up my bracket, but that's great." It was from his mom.

***FROM JANICE HOUGH***
"No one made money on Cornell in Vegas, because after all, anyone smart enough to have graduated from Cornell was also probably smart enough not to have bet on them."

"At one point during his ESPN interview, Tiger Woods said of his repeated affairs – “I tried to stop and I couldn’t stop. And it was just, it was horrific.” Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve just found the new U.S. spokesman for Toyota."

***FROM BILL LITTLEJOHN***
"Foreclosure proceedings have begun on the residence of the Octomom. She reportedly is in negotiations for a cheaper shoe."

***IS DISNEY GOING TOO FAR?***
This is not a joke. Disney Studios has banned actresses with 'artificial enhancements' for the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. The casting call included the following specifications: "Seeking beautiful female fit models. Must be 5ft 7in - 5ft 8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants." And if that weren't bad enough,they warn that there'll be a "show and tell" day. Potential lassies will have to undergo a Hollywood-style "jiggle-your-jugs" test and jog for the judges. This is right out of an article in the NY Post. Where is Gloria Steinem when you really need her?

Joe Mauer has signed for $23 million/year for 8 years with a no-trade clause. Rob Neyer says that ends the talk of Mauer in pinstripes for a long time. Uh, Rob, the Twins uniform has pinstripes.

CP-

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