A GOOD GAME...FOR YANKEE FANS

A quick 5-run deficit and then...
We've learned not to count this team out this year, but this was unbelievable. Whatever could go right, did. There were some odd things that went on, however. Adam Warren entered the game in the 7th inning with the score 19-5. He finished the game and was credited with a save. Are you kidding me? Annie-O could have probably pitched an inning and held a lead like that. Makes you wonder about the actual value of the save statistic.
Steven Drew entered the game in the bottom of the seventh and still got two at-bats. He didn't do anything with them, of course, but he did get them.
ESPN publishes a baseball power ranking every week. The Yankees, who have the 2nd best record in the AL and the 4th best in the majors, dropped from seventh to eighth this week. Whatever happened to that old east-coast bias?
One of the rarest events in baseball is the catcher's interference. One example is when the catchers impedes a batter's swing. The Ranger catcher was charged with two of these violations last night. That's one way to try and slow down the Yankee bats. Unfortunately for Texas, home plate umpire Andy Fletcher caught them both times even though he must have been exhausted after calling almost 400 pitches in the three and a half hours the game lasted. It's not true that he called for a chair for the last two innings...but I'll bet he would have accepted if one had been offered.
Texas pitching  coach Mike Maddox went to the mound so often, they'll have to re-sod the path from the dugout to the mound. Around the fifth inning, he began to carry a crying towel with him. I don't know if it was for him or the pitchers.

***THE TRADE DEADLINE***
## Some trades have been made with a couple of big names involved. A couple of trades are beyond my understanding. I don't understand why the Washington Nationals needed Jon Papelbon. The Nats already had Drew Storen, who was 29 for 31 in save attempts. Now you're playing with team chemistry. How will Storen react to being replaced and Papelbon is not exactly a guy who's easy to get along with.
## In the past three days, the LA Angels have picked up three outfielders: David DeJesus (35). David Murphy (33) and Shane Victorino (34). Serviceable players all, but are these the guys that are going to take you over the top? The Angels gave up some minor league players (emphasis on the word "minor"), but I don't see this as a big help.
## The Blue Jays acquisition of Troy Tulowitzki is intriguing. Tulo's stats at home in Colorado are much better than those on the road. How much does the thin air of mile-high Denver have to do with that. Plus, how will he do playing on Toronto's artificial turf? Tulo has a history of leg problems and Toronto's field is considered to be one of the toughest to play on. But he can be a potent bat in the middle of an already imposing lineup.
## There are some big-name players still available so it should be an interesting two days. Don't count on the Yankees, though, Brian Cashman has all but said they don't plan on anything , but analysts say he's full of hooey. The Yanks are the Yanks and they'll make an 11th-hour blockbuster.

On Sept. 12th, the Cincinnati Reds will honor Pete Rose with a bobblehead giveaway. Instead of a bat, it is rumored that Rose will be holding a betting slip.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Mets’ Jenrry Mejia, is now suspended 162 games for his 2nd failed PED test. Once you might think you’re invulnerable. The second time? Proves again that MLB drug testing is also an IQ test."  -- Janice Hough
" A life-sized Paddington Bear threw out the first pitch before a Chicago Cubs games. Small children in the crowd should stop having nightmares sometime in 2017."  -- Brad Dickson
" Golfer Robert Allenby fired his caddie mid-round, for the fourth time: “Dear future Allenby caddies: Confine your comments to, ‘Great shot, Bob!’"  -- Greg Cote

"Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch, conducting his annual Fam 1st Family Youth Football Camp in Oakland, stuffed a piece of chicken into his sock to eat later.In keeping with the football theme, it was a single wing."  -- Dwight Perry

"Golfer John Daly has revealed his workout secrets. I’m guessing they involve two laps around a chicken wing."  -- Brad Dickson

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SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

At the beginning of the season, the experts would make predictions about teams, pennant races and individual players. Usually very interesting and, of course, subject for debate. It doesn't bother me when people make predictions that I don't agree with. What does bother me is that later on they treat their prognostications as though they were gospel.

At the start of the season, everyone had questions about the Yankees, mostly revolving around their health. Can some of their older players play up to the back of their baseball cards, i.e., their histories. Will A-Rod be any kind of player after basically two years off? Will Mark Teixeira be able to rebound after wrist surgery? Does Carlos Beltran have anything left? And there were all the questions about the starters recovering from various elbow, shoulder and knee surgeries?

Good questions all, but that's what they were, just questions, because no one doubted that these players were talented. Now these questions have been answered positively since the Yankees have taken command of the AL East and boast the 2nd best record in the American League. So why are all these experts surprised that the Yanks all performed so well? None of them said these  players WILL NOT be able to play well, that they WON'T stay healthy. So why are they surprised? They agreed that this was certainly a viable scenario. Granted, it is unusual that all of them have risen to the occasion, and perhaps no one, not even A-Rod, thought he would do this well. So lets just accept that New York is the most complete team in the AL East and not treat it as though it was some kind of magic trick.

On the other hand, every one thought that Boston was the cream of the crop and even though they had no reliable starting pitchers, a shortstop playing an unfamiliar position, and a team top heavy with outfielders and no proven catcher. Now that the Red Sox have shown that all their unspoken (By the experts) weaknesses are real, why don't they treat that as a surprise?

The Baseball Hall of Fame
I mentioned this briefly a couple of days ago, but let me elaborate.
Craig Biggio - A somewhat unheralded all-star with definite HOF credentials. 
John Smoltz -  Amazing that he proved his worth in two totally different areas of pitching - starting and relieving. The only other pitcher who handled that change in the Hall was Dennis Eckersley.
Randy Johnson - Total domination that calls to mind  Sandy Koufax, whose numbers didn't really justify his election (165 wins). Johnson ended up with 303 wins. But the domination in talent was evident in both.
Pedro Martinez - Domination, but through intimidation. Pedro would throw at (and hit) anyone, especially anyone who looked like they might beat him. Talented, yes, but it was the fear factor which contributed greatly to his success. Case in point: "In 2001, Martinez said of the Curse of the Bambino: “I don’t believe in curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and I’ll face him. Maybe I’ll drill him in the ass."


It's starts at the lowest levels
You may remember a few years ago when a pre-teen named Jerry Altemonte threw a perfect game and a couple of shutouts during the Little League World Series tournament. The age limit for Little League is 12 or younger. A few months after the series, Altemonte was discovered to actually be 14 at the time.  Cheating at the lowest level. In a recent interview, Altemonte blamed the whole thing on his father and his coach. Altemonte also mentioned how much he loved baseball and listed as his favorite players, Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa. Interestingly, two of them are among the biggest "alleged" cheaters in the sport.


***THEY SAID IT***
"In the IFAF American football semifinals, the U.S. defeated France 82-0. However, the game tightened in the second half after France’s center began facing the right direction during snaps."  -- Brad Dickson
"Not that Rocky Balboa is showing his age or anything in “Creed” — the seventh installment in the “Rocky” movie series — but the eye of the Tiger now has cataracts."  -- Dwight Perry
"The LA Dodgers have apparently told Yasiel Puig that he will not be traded. Maybe because at this point no other team wants the headaches?"  -- Janice Hough

"Toronto has hired long-time Devils GM Lou Lamoreillo. Who but the Leafs would add a 73-year-old as part of their youth movement?"  -- RJ Currie
" Rob Gronkowski said that he’s read about 80 percent of his autobiography, “It’s Good To Be Gronk.” He’s the first best-selling author to ever utter, “Don’t tell me how it ends,” at his own book signing."  -- Brad Dickson
"Yes, Paul O’Neill talks too much on Yankees telecasts; he drives many viewers crazy. But that could be fixed if only someone at YES could convince him that viewers tune in primarily to watch the game."  -- Phil Mushnick
"Dan Patrick, Bill Simmons, Keith Olbermann and now Colin Cowherd. Will the last star to leave ESPN please turn out the light?"  -- Greg Cote
"Jason Pierre Paul of the New York Giants won’t sign a contract offer right now as he is learning to write with his other hand."  -- TC Chong

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HOW'S KURKJIAN DOING?

It's only been 9 days since I posted Tim Kurkjian's predictions, so things shouldn't have changed that much. However, Tim went against the grain a lot, so let's check.

In the AL, he put his money on Baltimore, Detroit and Seattle.
The Orioles sure didn't look like potential champions against New York this week, in fact, one of the Yankee broadcasters said Baltimore looked like they were just going thru the motions.
The Tigers have lost 4 of the last seven and stand in 3rd place in the AL Central, 10 1/2 games out.
The Mariners have lost 6 of 10 and also 10 1/2 games back.
The Yankees weren't mentioned and have looked like the class of the AL East.
As a side note, the last time the Boston Red Sox won a game was on July 11, almost two weeks ago.

Kurkjian was spot on in the National league with Washington, St. Louis and the Dodgers leading their divisions and Pittsburgh and the Giants pushing for the wild card spots. The Cubs are also a candidate for the wild card.
We'll check back in a month and see if Tim still has a job.

The Silly Season - summer edition:
The trading deadline is approaching with only seven days left. One pitcher has been traded, with Scott Kazmir going to Houston from the Athletics. There doesn't seem to be any big name position players on the line but there is a wealth of pitchers. Those teams ready to trade off some players are waiting to get the best deal they can, while those teams wanting players are waiting for the price tags to come down. Let's see who will blink first.
There are those in Boston who are calling for the Sox to dump Hanley Ramirez, Pablo Sandoval and Rick Porcello - Boston's big moves this off season. Instead, the GM seems poised to move first baseman Mike Napoli. Boston appears to have written off the 2015 season. One writer says that no one should be surprised since the Red Sox have finished last three of the last four years. I never really thought about it like that.
Meanwhile, the Evil Emp...er, the Yankees have only one piece they may move and that's 2nd baseman Steven Drew, he of the .180 batting average. His fielding is absolutely outstanding, however, and with Yanks hitting like Murderers Row, they can probably afford to carry him.  Besides, Annie-O likes him. (She's the queen of the underdogs)

Congratulations to the four newest members of the BB Hall Of Fame, to be inducted on Sunday. They are, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, Craig Biggio and John Smoltz.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Big news from Green Bay as Brett Favre's No. 4 Packers jersey was retired last weekend. Today the jersey changed its mind."  -- RJ Currie
"Former Cubs (and Yankee) outfielder Joe Pepitone, who was quite the partier, says fans used to throw him joints and grams of cocaine in center field, and he would hide it in the ivy. He said “with all the stuff I was getting in center field, I would have played for nothing”.  -- TC Chong
" Barry Bonds just held his annual baseball camp. It’s the only two-week camp where every kid is guaranteed of putting on 70 pounds of muscle. After completing Barry Bonds’ camp, every camper is presented with a little asterisk."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Oakland Athletics have started their trades earlier this year, sending pitcher Scott Kazmir to the Houston Astros. Thinking the A’s really need to come up with a bobblehead with an erasable face."  -- Janice Hough
"A 2-year-old racehorse in Australia, born with five legs, is doing her thing after undergoing corrective surgery, with a third-place finish to show for her first two starts. The filly’s name? Spare Parts."  -- Dwight Perry
"One of my idols, (showing my age) 79 year old Sandy Koufax threw out the ceremonial 1^st pitch to Johnny Bench to start baseball’s All Star Game. Of course, former big league manager Bobby Cox came out and argued that it was a strike and got ejected, as usual."  -- Tony Chong
"During baseball’s upcoming Hall of Fame weekend in Cooperstown, N.Y., officials warn visitors that prohibited items include weapons, coolers and Pete Rose."  -- Greg Cote
" Calvin Coolidge has joined the Racing Presidents at Washington Nationals games. This was after William Howard Taft tested positive for PEDs."  -- Brad Dickson
"The overwhelming favourite lost in the Nathan’s hotdog eating contest July 4. Is it fair to say Joey Chestnut choked?"  -- Scott Ostler
" Defections have been a big story during the Pan Am Games in Toronto. Two Cubans left the baseball team during tune-up games in the U.S., and this week four Phillies asked for asylum with the Blue Jays."  -- RJ Currie

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SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

While MLB takes two more days off, the sportswriters usually take this time to either reflect on the first half of the season or project the second half finish based on the performance so far. Or maybe not.

A while ago, Tim Kurkjian and Buster Olney got into a little playful name-calling (at least I think it was playful) during a Sunday night baseball game. They called each other idiots or something like that. They might not have been too far wrong. Kurkjian just posted a column predicting the finish for all the teams, Taking into account their first half performance, the shape of their rosters and maybe how much Johnny Walker Red is left in the bottle of scotch. Here's his list:
AMERICAN LEAGUE
East - Baltimore 
Central - Detroit
West - Seattle/Los Angeles Angels
Wild Card - Toronto & the AL West loser

NATIONAL LEAGUE
East - Washington
Central - St Louis
West - Los Angeles Dodgers
Wild Card - Pittsburgh & San Francisco

The National League predictions are a carbon copy of the current standings, so Tim really went out on a limb here.
In the AL, well, I guess if you keep your eyes closed, you won't be influenced by the results of those pesky games the teams went and played. He's picked the Yanks to finish last. Why? because they can't field , their pitching staff keeps getting hurt and the old men in the lineup can't possibly continue to play like they have. Okay, those things are possible, but why doesn't that apply to the other teams as well? How could he think Boston will make a big surge in the second half, especially with the pitching they (don't) have?  Maybe Buster was right.

It's midnight for these Cinderella teams: 
Kansas City
Houston
Chicago Cubs
Minnesota Twins
This seems like a fair assessment, but I think KC may fare better than the other three. I also think the Seattle pick is kind of optimistic, too.

Oh, by the way, the American League won the All-Star game last night. We tuned in to see the Al score two
runs off  Kershaw. Interestingly, Kershaw was not chosen and created the biggest outcry mostly by Dodger fans. He did eventually make the team and I'll bet the AL team is glad he did.

The trade deadline approaches and don't expect either New York team to make any kind of splash. The Mets have too many holes and the Yanks don't have any position spots open unless somebody wants to take on Beltran's weak bat and strong contract.

Interesting observation by Phil Mushnick of the NY Post. Why didn't the American Women's  soccer team wear red, white & blue?  Mushnick blames Nike, who supplied the uniforms. Why do they get to decide the colors? Don't the people who order them get to pick? And if Nike does make the decision, why didn't THEY choose the red, white & blue?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Sabres centre Ryan O’Reilly has been charged with DUI after his pickup truck ran into the wall of a Tim Hortons in Lucan, Ontario. Note to O’Reilly: That’s not what they mean by “drive thru.”  -- RJ Currie

"Scientists say that California has a slow natural helium leak. Then again, so does Mike Tyson, if you’ve ever heard him talk."  -- Dwight Perry

"Now there’s no Major League Baseball for two more days. So the whole country gets to see what it’s like to be Phillies fans" -- Janice Hough
" A Florida woman is seeking damages in excess of $15,000 after Miami Marlins mascot Bob the Shark allegedly bit her head. If this is re-enacted in court, it will be my Trial of the Century.  Because the incident occurred at a Marlins game, there are no witnesses."  -- Brad Dickson
"In case you're wondering, Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval is not in the new issue of ESPN: THE BODY. If he was, he'd be the first professional athlete to fill a two-page spread without lying down."  -- RJ Currie

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BASEBALL ON VACATION

Tomorrow is the last day of the first half of the season. Mathematically, it's a little over the halfway mark, but not according to tradition. Originally, is was meant to showcase the stars of each league in a sort of dream matchup, a game between players who did not face each other all year. How would the best pitcher on the Giants do pitching against sluggers from Cleveland or Detroit? Could American League pitchers stop Maury Wills from stealing? The fans of Kansas City would get to see the best from the National League, players that had never appeared in that town.
Now, thanks to inter-league play, the perverted value of the game, combined with the rules and the players that managers are given, the mystique is gone from the game. I guess inter-league serves a good purpose, but the All-Star game itself needs revision - badly. Since broadcasters are recognizing this and airing their thoughts, maybe the powers that be will recognize the problem and fix it. Or, as my friend Brad Dickson says,
"Major League Baseball officials are claiming they have the best all-star game in professional sports. This is sort of like being the smartest stooge."

The lingo of the game:
Have you noticed that former players in the booth use some phrases over and over? Phrases like, "He hit a home run," aren't exciting enough so they've come up with their own lingo. Some are okay, some make no sense and some are just vague enough to be irritating. Here are some with the best explanation I can give:
There are many, many euphemisms for a homer, too many to list here, from He went yard to Went downtown and everything in between.

The hammer - usually a fastball, so called because...who knows.
The deuce - It's a curve ball, given the name because of the normal sequence of signs a catcher gives. One is a fastball, two is a curve, after that, it depends on the pitchers arsenal.
Watching the catchers signals can sometimes allow you to foresee what's coming next. a For example, a fist with the thumb extended usually means throw it to first. It can be fun to see how a batter reacts to the kind of pitch  that is thrown. Try it.
Free baseball - A Michael Kay specialty. He means extra innings, and the idea that you paid for a ticket to a nine inning game and the "extra" innings are a bonus. We at home, get the bonus of extra commercials. Free baseball indeed.
Laser shot - any kind of hard line drive hit. Dizzy Dean used to call them "Blue Darters." Harder to explain but much more colorful.
Highly respected - A phrase assigned to any (make that EVERY) manager, coach scout, or baseball official. If they are that respected, why have they all been fired at one time or another, sometimes multiple times? Some announcers use the phrase almost as though it was a part of the title. I suppose it's better than saying, "Nobody cares too much for him."
Try not to do too much - Sorry but this one makes little sense to me. I like to think my favorite players are trying to do everything they can. It supposed to mean that hitters are not over-swinging, pulling their head and are generally out of control, but they apply it when a batter hits the ball to the opposite field. A player with any training is taught to try hard to do exactly that. They make it sound like a hitter stops at first when he could easily make second, I guess on the theory that you shouldn't expect too many doubles from him.
Cut action or late movement - This is when a pitch moves just a little when it gets right up to the plate. You can always tell when a pitcher has late movement on his fastball because the broadcaster tells you it does. You certainly can't see it. Even in slow motion.

They have a strange culture in the Boston clubhouse. Players texting in the bathroom, Ortiz saying he's too old to play in the field, Ramirez saying he's "not interested" in playing first base.
Texting in the can - well most of us read while we're in there, what's the difference.
Too old? Should the Red Sox cut his pay because he can only play half the game?
Interested? I'll bet he's interested in cashing that paycheck every two weeks. You'd think the GM would say, "If I'm paying, you'll play where I tell you." Maybe couple of pieces of fried chicken on the bag would help.

I mentioned last time how obnoxious Pete Rose was on the Fox Sports Panel last week. Part of it was his insistence that Stephen Strasburg left the game with a cramp when the others were speculating on something more elaborate. "Nope, cramp!" he insisted more than once. No explanation, no justification, just "CRAMP!"  Just for the record, Strasburg had an oblique strain and was placed on the 15-day DL. Pete, don't you get tired of being right all the time?

Phil Mushnick of the NY Post, did a piece on what he calls, "The code of the modern cool."  This is where players DO NOT acknowledge the applause of the crowd over some feat they just performed. They'll go through all kinds of celebratory gyrations with their teammates in the dugout or even on the field, but the fan gets nothing, not even a tip of the cap. In Yankee Stadium, they announced during the game that Brett Gardner has been named to the All-Star team. The crowd in left field cheered like crazy, but Gardner acted like he was totally deaf - until he got in the dugout. On the other hand, Michael Pineda briefly touched his cap when he left Friday's game after a wonderful pitching performance. Better watch out, Michael, you could get kicked out of the Modern Cool fraternity if you keep that up. 

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Kansas City Royals dugout flooded during a game. Royals' fans promptly voted the squeegee guy who mopped it up to the all-star team."  -- Brad Dickson
"Wimbledon saw another opening round exit for Eugenie Bouchard, who also drew a dress-code violation for her black bra. That’s rough: penalized for the one thing in her game that's been uplifting."  -- RJ Currie
"Jason Pierre-Paul on his fireworks fiasco and its aftermath. There’s no need to point fingers."  --  Marc Rogavin
"An arbitrator has reduced the Cowboys’ Greg Hardy suspension from 10 to four games. This for assaulting his girlfriend and threatening to kill her. Well, not like Hardy did anything serious like smoking marijuana."  -- Janice Hough

"Luke Ridnour, the 12-year NBA veteran from Blaine, Wash., recently got traded four times in less than a week — to his fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth teams of his pro career. On the bright side, upon retirement he’ll still have a full-time job just playing the old-timers’ games."  -- Dwight Perry

"Andong Song is the first player born in China to be selected in the NHL Draft. He was chosen in the 6^th round by the Islanders. Let’s hope that they don’t play him on the wong wing."  -- TC Chong

  (Note: only an Asian comic could publish a joke like this - CP)

"A 108-year-old Mariners fan will celebrate her birthday by throwing a ceremonial first pitch when the M's host the Angels. She credits her longevity to over 100 years of laughing — mostly at the Cubs."  -- RJ Currie

" The Baltimore Orioles agreed to sign Cuban pitcher Ariel Miranda. Will the last baseball player left in Cuba please turn out the lights?"  -- Brad Dickson

Congratulations to the USA Women's Soccer team and letting our hometown product, Abby Wambach finally get her World Cup championship.  

(Personal thanks to Vancouver's Tony Chong for his support as asked)

CP-

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

The Yankees are finding new ways to win ballgames. Walk-off homers, walk-off throwing errors - they even went so far as to give up a tying 2-run homer in the ninth inning just to have one of those bouncing celebrations at home plate, complete with the obligatory Gatorade dunking. It is odd to see the celebration center around a pinch-runner, though. "Way to run, big guy!" I am surprised they didn't give Girardi a bath for making the bold move of substituting a pinch-runner for his best hitter and best fielder. It was so bold, I was in the process of booking a flight to New York to punch Girardi in the nose personally. I guess his nose is safe for another day.

##  Continuing my anti-sportscasters rant:  Why did David Cone feel it necessary to spend 2 minutes (which seemed like 10 minutes) explaining the length of a pitcher's stride and the effect it had on a pitch? Plus, he repeated himself twice, complete with videos and pictures to demonstrate his point. Coney is a self-professed cybernetics geek, but really, how technical can you get?  Instead of spending millions and millions of dollars on over-the-hill players, why not spend $50 or $60 million and buy Vin Scully from the Dodgers?  Even for just the rest of the season. Dump all these ex-jocks and send Michael Kay over to radio. The only bad part of this is that my Dodger-crazy sister-in-law Pauline would probably never speak to me again.

##  The Yankees are pushing for four players to make the All-Star team: Gardner, Betances, Teixeira and A-Rod. I hope none of them make it because I don't want them to take the chance on getting hurt. I know, I know, Yankee fans that read this are currently spitting on the screen, but let's see how you feel if Tex was to re-injure his wrist. Would it be worth it just to get home field advantage in the World Series? Nope! Betances probably will make it and I guess that's deserved.
Praise continues to be heaped on A-Rod for his surprising production and he has done well with the homers and RBI's, but don't read too much into that batting average. He's gotten an inordinate amount of bloop singles and seeing-eye ground ball hits. It's fine when they drive in a run, but mostly they just artificially inflate his average.

##  Pete Rose was on the Fox Sports panel after yesterday's game and it only took two minutes before Annie-O spoke up: "Boy, Pete Rose is really obnoxious." Welcome to the club, sweetheart.

##  Miguel Cabrera went on the DL yesterday for  6 weeks at least.  .350 average, 15 homers and 54 RBIs. To say the Tigers will miss him is a vast understatement. Detroit churches are filled to overflowing with people lighting votive candles for Miggy. 

##  Angels manager Mike Sciocia and former GM Jerry Dipoto, had a difference of opinion on how the team should be run, with Dipoto feeling that Sciocia and his staff didn't give enough support to the statistical analysis that he provided, with Sciocia tempering them with his own "baseball knowledge." Teams are giving more and more credence to trends and historical data that has become available because of computers. But how far do you go? Who was the top pitcher in last year's World Series? It was Madison Baumgarner. Here's Madbum's take on preparation: "I don't do the scouting thing. I've tried it. It just worked against me. I would be out there thinking of what I can't do instead of what I can."  (I hope David Cone doesn't read this.)

***THEY SAID IT***
"The U.S. and Japanese national teams are heart-broken that FIFA President Sepp Blatter has decided to watch the final tonight from Switzerland.       The FBI is disappointed, too."  --  Jeremy Schaap
"Alabama commit Eddy Pineiro posted a video on Twitter of himself kicking a 73-yard field goal in practice. It was then run back for a touchdown by an Auburn commit."  -- Brad Dickson
"Happy Fourth of July, where we celebrate USA independence by waving flags and shooting off fireworks that mostly are made in China."  -- Janice Hough
" Cleveland quarterback Johnny Manziel said he was “a bit of a distraction” last season. That’s like Wilt Chamberlain saying he was a bit of a flirt."  -- RJ Currie

"Happy birthday to Broncos Hall of Fame QB John Elway, who turned 55 on Sunday. Many more of these, and "The Drive" will include leaving his left blinker on."  -- Dwight Perry

"Texas A & M won’t be joining rival Texas in selling beer and wine at games. Our athletic program has not reached the point where we require the numbing effects of alcohol."  -- John Sharp, Chancellor

"The U.S. and Cuba restoring diplomatic ties is expected to lead to one million Cuban people coming here. And those are just the shortstops."  -- Brad Dickson
"One of Tom Brady's Deflategate balls is up for auction with bids starting at $25,000. Doesn't that seem inflated"  -- RJ Currie
" Philadelphia Phillies’ manager, Ryne Sandberg announced he is resigning and leaving the team. And Phillies’ season ticket holders are thinking “you can do that?”  -- Janice Hough
"I’m going to be on worldwide television this weekend. You can’t miss me. Look for a crazed Oriental dude at the Women’s World Cup with a vuvazela."  -- TC Chong
" How bad is my yard looking? So bad, I think I could host a British Open.”  -- Cam Hutchinson

"Three-fourths of American high-school students flunked geography on a recent standardized test, The Boston Globe reported. Considering the NFL thinks Dallas is in the East, Indianapolis is in the South and St. Louis is in the West — well, is it any wonder?"  -- Dwight Perry

" Yankees broadcasters now mostly ignore Alex Rodriguez’s career totals as drug-aided the way they mostly ignored Robinson Cano’s disinclination to run to first — until he left for Seattle."  -- Phil Mushnick

"Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona told reporters he once ate 17 Popsicles in a single night. This is how it always seems to go for Cleveland pro sports fans. You think you’re getting Earl Weaver, and you wind up with Joey Chestnut."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

WHO? WHAT? WHERE? WHY? WHEN?

No, I'm not channeling Vinnie Barbarino and Mr Kotter doesn't have the answers. In fact neither do I. Maybe you all can help.

Who's at fault here?
Thursday night, Jon Lester of the Cubs was pitching against the Dodgers and he was having trouble with his location. In fact, he walked four guys in four innings, helped by a home plate umpire (Andy Fletcher) who had a narrow strike zone that night. As could be expected, Lester indicated his frustration and some words were exchanged, but Lester turned away. Not good enough for Fletcher who actually started out to the mound to continue the argument. The cubs catcher and manager quickly got between Fletcher and Lester and prevented what would have ended up as a Lester ejection. This is a clear case of an umpire instigating a big argument for no reason other than Fletcher's egotistical manner. He should be suspended for a week. 

What's with all the injuries?
It's been a bad week for players. There was an amazing number of injuries for a number of different reasons.
Giancarlo Stanton - Hit by a pitch, broken wrist
Robinson Cano - Hit by a warm-up ball thrown by the Dodgers between innings (I assume it was an accident since the Mariners are certainly no threat to Los Angeles.
Andrew McCutcheon - hit in the elbow by a pitch
Tim Lincecum - Hit in the pitching elbow by a line drive (See how things even out?)
Williams Perez - Hit in the foot by a line drive (Hitters - 2, Pitchers -1)

Where's Jeter?
It's not unusual for a recently retired player to pass on the first Old Timer's Game after his retirement from the Yankees, so it was no surprise that Derek wasn't around for this years event. But where has he been? I have read that he's been in the Dominican Republic, Europe, and India, basically everywhere but my hometown of Oswego, NY. Well enjoy yourself Derek. I hope you're at least sending postcards to Hannah Davis. Luckily for you, she currently appears to be dating a white horse.

Why do they talk so much?
We're talking about baseball announcers here. I started with the ESPN Sunday night guys, explaining everything from the reasons behind certain plays to the theory of relativity - and getting them both wrong. Now everybody is doing it. Apparently there have been a few seconds of quiet in the booth because the powers-that-be have added a third man in the booth. And they all drone on and on and on, to the point when even Annie-O is yelling, "WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?" at the TV. Paul O'Neil used to be a little shy and didn't say too much, now he's turned into the second coming of Phil Rizzuto, talking about everything BUT the game. Michael Kay is supposed to run the broadcast, but instead of controlling them, he goads them into more and more. I never thought I'd say this, but can we get Joe Morgan back? He was always so wrong it was comical but at least he didn't talk that much.

When is this going to stop?
Pete Rose has applied for reinstatement into the good graces of Major League Baseball. But new information has surfaced that claims Pete also bet on games when he was playing. He's denied this as lately as two weeks ago. No matter what comes to light, Pete and all the other cheaters of one kind or another in sports, refuse to admit any wrong-doing. They deny, deny, deny, until it's proven and then they say, "Well, maybe I did."  There's a famous line from the movie, "Three Days of the Condor,"  where the main character says to an FBI agent, "You guys think if you don't get caught in a lie, it's the same as telling the truth."

Put out an American flag and root for the Women's soccer team Tuesday night in the World Cup semi-finals.

***THEY SAID IT***
"A New York undercover investigation has resulted in finding pricing inaccuracies at all 8 Whole Foods stores in the NYC area. All errors were in favor of the retailer which is known to be well over priced as is. Yankees and Mets fans said they would never shop there again as they lined up for their $27 hot dog and beer."  -- TC Chong
"The Seattle Mariners re-assigned hitting coach Howard Johnson to the minor leagues. To ease the transition, that first night the minor league manager told Johnson the team hotel was named after him."  -- Brad Dickson
"But really? One of the “top stories” headlines on USAToday.com today is “Stanton injury a crushing blow for fantasy owners.” As opposed to a blow to the Marlins, Marlins fans, or baseball fans in general who just like to watch a great player?"  -- Janice Hough
" Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera” — based on the Harding-Kerrigan figure-skating knee whack in 1994 — makes its Big Apple debut at the New York Musical Theatre Festival in July. No need to say “Break a leg!” to these thespians."  --  Dwight Perry
"It’s a bad sign if you can’t distinguish between a sport and a group of people rushing to the bathroom. Doping for racewalking is like robbing a bank that you know has only $2 in it."  -- CBS's James Corden
"Ballot stuffing has resulted in 8 Kansas City starters voted onto the AL All Star team. As the winner of the event gets World Series home games advantage, wouldn’t it be wiser for KC fans to vote in the entire Phillies team instead?"  -- TC Chong
"According to a new report, Pete Rose bet on baseball while he was a player. Everyone in the world surprised by this report will be meeting Monday on top of the first base bag at the Cincinnati Reds’ stadium."  -- Brad Dickson
"A fan at Wrigley Field caught a foul ball while feeding his baby: “People were shocked — not that he was holding a baby, but because someone wearing a Cubs hat caught a ball."  -- Conan O'Brien
"At the Women’s World Cup, U.S. striker Abby Wambach is blaming artificial turf for her lack of scoring. “See?” said the Winnipeg Blue Bombers."  -- RJ Currie
" Too much of a good thing: Paul O’Neill has become a good, willing and folksy all-things raconteur. Great. Still, someone at YES should tell him the primary reason we tuned in is to watch a ball game."  -- Phil Mushnick
"A Chicago Cubs fan interfered with Dodgers’ first baseman Adrian Gonzalez and made a one-handed catch while feeding his 7-month-old son. Not surprising: Because it’s Chicago, the 7-month-old was devouring an 89-inch deep dish pizza."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Patriots Super Bowl rings are the largest ever, with each featuring 205 diamonds and 4.85 karats. The ring is so big, it won’t fit in Vladimir Putin’s pocket."  -- RJ Currie.

CP-

3000 HITS .... I GUESS

A-Rod got his 3000th hit last night, at least that's what the record books say. As all the YES broadcasters like to say, "Each individual will have to make up their own minds as to whether or not it's legitimate."  I have no idea how you would go about determining how many hits were 'earned' and how many were drug-related. You may want to recognize Bond's homerun record, or McGwire's accomplishments, but remember, you still have to hit the ball regardless of how strong you may be. A-Rod is proving a couple of things this year: there is a lot of talent inside that body and he has a work ethic that is unmatched. That has to account for something.
** This part is vary sad, though. The clown that caught A-Rod's 3000th hit homer, wants to keep it, because, "...I'm a collector and this ball means a lot to me."  Basically, he's living his pathetic life on the coattails of the talents and accomplishments of others. I would have understood it more if he demanded some exorbitant sum from A-Rod or the Yankees. I still wouldn't have liked it, but greed is more understandable than meanness. 

## So Pablo Sandoval gets benched because he "liked" somebody on the internet; in the bathroom...during the game...when he wasn't playing. Now I couldn't care less about Boston's problems and I don't condone what Pablo did, but come on, did they really have to make such a big deal out of it and sit him for a game for this? Bone-headed plays, failure to hustle, these are things that deserves punishment.

## The Yankees scored more than six runs last night which means Papa John's offers 50% off any online order. If you happen to live in the Miami area, the Marlins only need five runs. Not showing a lot of respect for the Marlins. It could be worse: in Milwaukee, I hear Papa John's immediately brings a meat-lovers pizza out to third base for any Brewer that makes it that far.

## Ya' gotta love those New York papers. Their back page headlines can be very amusing. The last two I saw - GARDY GOES YARDY  and  C.C. = SO SO.

##  Okay, let's cut up the All-Star game again. No matter how bad things are, they can always get worse. They have taken an exhibition game and made it a critical part of the season. They play everybody and have had to increase the size of the roster because of that, and the rule that every team has to be  represented. If that isn't enough, the Kansas City fans have taken advantage of the loop hole in the voting by flooding the ballot box with votes for the Royals. Computers have made this even easier in spite of the limitations (twenty five votes per e-mail address). Computer geeks have figured out how to bypass that restriction which resulted in some 65 million votes being discarded because of "irregularities."  There is so much wrong with this whole thing that they should scrap it and start from scratch. Here are some suggestions I would like to see implemented:
1) Teams are picked by the managers from each league. The top two vote-getters for each position make the team. Managers each pick two pitchers and the top 10 pitchers make the team.
2) Each team does NOT have to be represented.
3) No rule that everybody must play.
4) No limitation on how long a player must stay in the game, except for pitchers.
5) The game is for exhibition purposes ONLY.
If you want to determine the home field advantage for the World Series other than alternating between leagues, use the overall record of inter-league play.

Now, isn't that better?

## No truth to the rumor that the Grand Marshall of the Golden State Warriors victory parade is Riley Curry. She will have her own float, however,

***THEY SAID IT***
"It pains me to say anything nice about a Dodger. But I do love this tweet from Brandon McCarthy. “in keeping with baseball tradition, a Houston exec should walk into the STL offices and hit their best front office guy with a fastball."  -- Janice Hough
" This is amazing. Six members of the Kansas City Royals are now leading the U.S. presidential race."  -- Brad Dickson

"Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez hit career home run No. 666 Saturday night. Conspiracy theorists say the devil made him do it."  -- Dwight Perry

"Thursday’s Jays-Mets pitching duel had RA Dickey, age 40, against 42-year-old Bartolo Colon. Urine tests found no Clostebol or Danazol, but plenty of Geritol."  -- RJ Currie
"Andre Iguodala  of the Warriors captured seven of the 11 votes to become the first to take the NBA finals MVP award.  But what about Lebron who garnered the other four votes? He was unquestionably the best player with the best stats but the majority of the voters made it clear they were only willing to give the award to someone from the winning team."  -- Hartley Miller, "The Hart Attack"
"Really bad timing for the St. Louis Cardinals to get caught.. This year investigators will believe the Astros actually had information worth stealing."  -- Janice Hough

"Cleveland QB Johnny Manziel declared that the days of his cartoonish persona, boorish acts and signature money sign are over. Reaction was predictably mixed: Browns fans are ecstatic. Joke writers are inconsolable."  -- Dwight Perry

" The Warriors’ Andre Iguodala was voted MVP of the NBA Finals. Great news for everyone except whoever has to engrave that name on a trophy."  -- Jimmy Kimmel

"Fan balloting has resulted in 8 Kansas City Royals starters voted in for the All Star Game. First reactions were that there must have been some type of computer screw up. Otherwise it would have been 9."  -- TC Chong

CP-

 

I DON'T GET IT

ESPN - All sports. all the time.
Except when it isn't. When you tune in, you may see sports highlites but you might also see other things. You may see rock stars pretending to be sports anchors. You might see current athletes pretending to be sports analysts. You may even see sports anchors, pretending to be comedians. The pretense is over, guys - you aren't. I don't mind seeing one of the hosts trying to do an off-beat, funny intro into a segment; what I don't like is two of them trying to amuse one another, basically forgetting why they're there: SPORTS.
They have a number of women hosting the show now, and while I was dubious at first, they have proven they know sports, sometimes having a better understanding of the games than some of the guys. The short skirts don't hurt either.
Today, they had a fellow who does art using only a box of table salt. Is this a future Olympic sport?

Abby sits, Sweden laughs
Sweden's coach, Pia Sundhage, who used to coach the American team, said if she still coached the Americans, she would put Abby Wambach on the bench. The USA coach, Jill Ellis, fell for the ploy and Abby did not start. She did play the 2nd half, but the USA team lost 20 minutes of her talent which might have been the difference in the game. Wambach has it all: size. speed, strength and ability. She also has a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Plus, she's a bull. She runs opponents into the ground. But the biggest factor is her mere presence. Opponents often have to have two or sometimes three players mark her because she's a goal scoring machine. This frees up her teammates. If there is one maxim true in all sports, it's this: You can't score while sitting on the bench. The final score was 0-0, but it was really Sweden -1, USA -DNP (coaches decision).

Where have you gone Larry Lucchino?
Lucchino. president of the Boston Red Sox, put together what he thought was a World Series contender and boasted enough about it that he conned most of the media into believing him. He did it by spending a few million on some hitters that were going to strike terror into every pitching staff in the AL East. "Buying" a contending team is what Lucchino claims the Yankees did every year. Now that he's doing it, it's um...okay. Pablo Sandoval is not playing a gold glove 3rd base and he's hitting sporadically. Hanley Ramirez began by hitting a lot of home runs and then just stopped and continues to play left field like Manny Ramirez with a pulled hamstring. The pitching staff did have a lot of question marks coming into the season. There is no question now - They're terrible. The Sox are in last place and finding new depths to sink into every day. Watch out, Larry, Owner John Henry is starting to come to the games - and he's not smiling.

When will the Yanks figure out which team they are.
For a week, the Yanks look like the class of the AL East. The next week, they'd have trouble beating the Fargo Redhawks of the American Association. They are second in the majors in homeruns, but they lead the league in errors. They have arguably the most potent bullpen in the league (when healthy) yet they lead the league in wild pitches. Girardi and Cashman are in full panic mode when it comes to the bullpen. Have one bad outing and BOOM, you're pitching for the Lincoln Saltdogs. We'll probably have to wait until October to find out who the 2015 Yankees are.

Who should be the starting pitchers for the All-Star game?
Why is this an ESPN segment? Who cares who the starters are/ They're only going to pitch one inning anyway. Besides, most managers don't want ANY of their pitchers in the game. Why not just let retired-commissioner Bud Selig draw a name out of a hat?
There is talk that Alex Rodriguez should be in the All-Star game. Why? His numbers don't justify it. Sure, they're terrific for a 40-year old man after two hip surgeries and sitting out a full year, but there are a few DH-types out there with much better numbers who merit the choice.

***THEY SAID IT***
"A sample daily schedule for LSU fans this week at the College World Series in Omaha: breakfast, horseshoes, beer, more horseshoes, more beer, barbecue, more barbecue. Followed by a baseball game.* (*Time permitting.)"  -- Brad Dickson
"After the Cavaliers’ one-man show helped win Game 2 of the NBA playoffs: "LeBron James said it was a huge win, and he couldn’t have done it without the ball."  -- Jimmy Fallon

"There is a push for American Pharoah to be named Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year. There’s also a much smaller push for American Pharoah to be featured in the next swimsuit issue."  -- Conan O'Brien

"The owner of American Pharoah had already sold the breeding rights before he won The Belmont last Saturday. That guy doesn’t horse around when it comes to selling shares for “horsing around”.  -- TC Chong

"South Korean soccer player Kang Soo-il is blaming a moustache-growing cream for flunking a steroid test. Of course, it’s mere coincidence he has to shave it five times a day."  -- Dwight Perry

" The College World Series started today. What a shame that the Philadelphia Phillies just missed qualifying."  -- Janice Hough

"The way the Boston Red Sox are playing these days, fans are starting to refer to the Bobby Valentine era as "the good old days."   -- Mike Lupica

"The NFL announced October’s Bills-Jaguars game in London will only be available on the Internet. Network TV shows in that time slot promptly doubled their advertising rates."  -- RJ Currie 

"Part of the deal to keep the Arizona Coyotes was a favorable lease arrangement with the city of Glendale Arizona to keep the team there. That deal calls for the city to pay the Coyotes $15M a year to play in the arena; I would call that a “favorable lease”; how about you?"  -- The Sports 

Curmudgeon 

CP-

 

THE DRAFT

Up until a few years ago, I was only vaguely aware that the draft existed. Even then, I wasn't aware of how much the Major League teams relied on them. There were occasional mentions that a team had drafted so-and-so back in '86 and now he's a big star. But then player salaries began to skyrocket out of sight, not only in dollars, but also in the length of the contracts. (The Mets will be paying Bobby Bonilla $1.2 million a year until 2035, when he's 72. He last played in 2001) When it became apparent that these players just weren't worth carrying for so long after they were productive at all and for such astronomical sums, that clubs looked for other sources of players. Thus, the draft.

Even then, with people talking about it more and more, It wasn't until this year, when MLB decided that the draft was an EVENT, (that's EVENT, not event) that it became a TV special. It started last night and will continue for three days, when we get down to the final rounds when teams will be drafting clubhouse attendants, because...what else is left?  ("He's great with a broom, Bob, and he has major league shoe-shining ability now. I predict he will be stocking drink machines in a major league clubhouse by 2016.") I hope that last line ends up being a joke.

Back to reality, the actual draft. The Yanks were known to be interested in a shortstop named Cornelius Randolph who was touted as a 5-tool player (run, hit, hit with power, field and throw), but he was picked at #10 by the Phillies. With pick #16, the Yanks picked a right-handed pitcher named James Kaprielian from UCLA. He's predicted to be a #4 or #5 starter. He does have a cool nickname, though - Grandmaster K. - because of his propensity for striking batters out.
You have to love the Yanks #30 pick though: SS Kyle Holder. He's supposed to be a terrific fielder - one scout rates him plus-plus with the glove - but it might not matter since he can't hit a lick. If wet paper bags stymie him, what's he going to do with a ML curve? Why do they need him?  Stephen Drew already has the wet paper bag situation handled.

Interesting Yankee-Nationals game tonight. Masahiro Tanaka versus Max Scherzer. Wonderful if you like 0-0 ballgames with a total of three hits.  If they get a pitcher's umpire, we may see the first double no-hitter in history. I won't. I'll be asleep.

Crazy item in the Rochester sports page today. The Triple-A Rochester Red Wings heard that WWE wrestler Bret Harte was coming to town as part of a promotion, so the bullpen crew decided to use his visit as a means to introduce a little bonding in the bullpen. They have all selected a pro wrestler to emulate. They dress like him and take on his ring persona. Randy Savage, the Undertaker, the Rock and the Ultimate Warrior, to name a few. A couple of them say they can't wait for the first bench-clearing brawl. They're ready.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Doesn’t Sepp Blatter, former FIFA President, sound like something that can be treated only with powerful antibiotics?"  -- Mike Lupica
"Last week an 80-foot-wide sinkhole opened up at a Missouri golf course. This week Tiger Woods three-putted it."  -- RJ Currie
"After reportedly being heckled by a fan at the AT&T Byron Nelson Open, Johnny Manziel threw a water bottle. The bottle was intercepted and returned 59 yards."  -- Brad Dickson
"After his team’s 18-4 loss to Arkansas in an NCAA baseball super regional: “If it was a good pitch, they hit it. If it was a bad pitch, they hit it even further."  -- Missouri St. pitcher Jon Harris
"On pace for 183 home runs but just a .212 batting average with runners in scoring position?

If the Mariners were a car, it’d be sitting up on blocks, a for-sale sign in the back window, with the lemon-law proviso that it packs some power but the clutch is shot."  -- Dwight Perry

"With the votes counted as of today, seven Kansas City Royals on track to start this year’s All-Star Game. Guessing most Americans couldn’t NAME seven Kansas City Royals."  -- Janice Hough

"After inadvertently washing my wallet with my clothes, I’ve applied to be president of FIFA. I’m experienced at laundering money."  -- RJ Currie 

"Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto drew a three-ball walk. Man, the commissioner is throwing out all stops to speed up the game."  -- Brad Dickson

"Indian police said they detained a pigeon suspected of being a Pakistani spy after it was found to have a message stamped on its body. They released it, however, upon learning that the message translated to 'Property of Bill Belichick.’"  -- Bill Littlejohn

"Things may change in Boston, just because it’s a long season there the way it is everywhere else, but at this point in time the Red Sox would be willing to send Pablo Sandoval back to the Giants for a bag of batting practice balls.        Just sayin’."  -- Mike Lupica

"I read a report that Raiders’ QB, Derek Carr missed some workouts because of numbness in his fingers. Given the pounding that he took last year behind an offensive line that was only offensive in the sense of its collective body odor, it ought to be a plus that he only had numbness in a couple of fingers."  -- The Sports Curmudgeon

CP-

 

DAVID CONE WILL BE IN HIS GLORY

Those of you who watch the Yankee games on the YES NETWORK, know that when David Cone is one of the analysts, we will be besieged with all kinds of statistics. Some are valid and some are interesting, but most of them rely on some sort of basic assumption or opinion out of which, these cyber-metrics are born. I thought we had reached the limit of how far these stats could go, but unfortunately that's not true. Brace yourself kiddies, this is a stunner.

We are going to talk about catchers, trying to determine which ones are the best defensively. Major League catchers can all  catch pitches, most can block pitches in the dirt and some are pretty good at throwing out potential base stealers. There are some other factors which should be mentioned:
1) Does he "call" a good game? Let's not forget that the pitcher has the final say on what gets thrown.
2) Is he good at "framing" pitches? This means can he fool those dummy umpires by pretending a pitch was over the plate. I'm sure umpires just love to be told that catchers can trick them like this.
3) Is he good at blocking pitches in the dirt? Typically with these Advanced Metrics, there are so many variables that you could end up blaming the ball boy down the left field line for letting runners advance. In addition, I am no longer sure what constitutes a wild pitch versus a passed ball. I have my opinion which is in agreement with...nobody else.  (But I'm still right!)
All these statics boil down to one basic cybermetric: WAR - Wins Against Replacement.

Baseball Prospectus can now tell us what catchers are the best defensively based on these simple stats:
gcWINSAA - game-calling wins above average
frWINSAA - framing wins above average
blWINSAA - blocking wins above average
and finally...
cWINSAA - catcher wins above average
The last item being a sum of the first three.

I have seen no proof that any of these are valid, probably because there is no proof. This is all just like beauty contests. Who can say which girl is the prettiest, it's all just someone's opinion.

So, Mr. Cone, if you want to get off on these, be my guest. I challenge you to debate these some day, privately or during a Yankee broadcast.

By the way, Yadier Molina has the best rating in the game today (big surprise).  Brian McCann is second. If that doesn't prove my point, I don't know what will.

## Gordon Edes, ESPN staff writer from Boston, describes the disappointing play of Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval in a recent column. He says Ramirez may be the worst left fielder in Boston History and when the comparison is to Manny Ramirez, you know you're at the bottom of the barrel. Hanley is not very popular in the clubhouse and usually leaves without talking to reporters about any miscues. He hit 10 home runs in the first month of the season and none since. Pablo is described as affable but is not hitting as well as expected, especially against lefties and has suddenly developed Chase Headley disease, the inability to field his position. These two, plus David Ortiz,  are the basic reasons that writers were picking the Red Sox to go all the way. The hole they're digging themselves is getting deeper.

***THEY SAID IT***
" The NCAA has charged UNC with five major violations connected to the school’s long-running academic fraud scandal. Now let’s see how they come up with “severe” punishments that don’t keep the men’s basketball team out of March Madness."  -- Janice Hough
" Sepp Blatter resigns from FIFA with generous severance bribe"  -- TheOnion.com

"The first 25,000 Orioles fans at June 27’s home game will receiver a Buck Showalter garden gnome.

So what’s the Birds’ next managerial giveaway, Earl Weaver gargoyles?"  -- Dwight Perry

"Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis injured himself playing kickball: “Isn’t that like Arthur Rubinstein injuring his hand while playing ‘Chopsticks’?"  -- Bill Littlejohn

"The Women’s Soccer World Cup starts it's month long run in Canada on Saturday, and souvenir sales figure to be brisk. Everything will be on sale, soccer balls, jerseys, national flags, FIFA officials ..."  -- Argus Hamilton

"Ben Ancheff, the 300 lb St. Thomas U (Miami) college pitcher was suspected of having pine tar & resin on his forearm. Umpires checked him and it turned out to be Hersheys chocolate syrup, butter and jam."  -- TC Chong
"Johnny Manziel threw a water bottle at a badgering fan at the Byron Nelson Classic. Word is the bottle was half loaded — or was that Manziel?"  -- RJ Currie
"A swanky Mexican resort opened an underwater bar: In related news, John Daly is taking scuba lessons."  -- Mike Bianchi
"The Golden State Warriors invited a 105-year-old fan to Game 1 of the NBA Finals at no charge. She was only 102 when the 2015 NBA playoffs began."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

THINGS YOU WON'T BELIEVE

## "King" Felix Hernandez, arguably the best pitcher in baseball, was shelled last night by the NY Yankees, arguably the worst division leader in baseball, for 7 runs.

##  With dark clouds overhead and rain in the forecast, the Seattle mariners kept their dome OPEN before the game. It hardly ever rains in Seattle, does it?

##  Why hasn't the NBA finals started yet? Are they waiting for a decision from "King James" LeBron?

##  Why hasn't the NHL finals started yet? Are they trying to outlast the NBA?

##  The sports media is trying to find out if  Riley Curry will bring her dad, Stephen, to her next press conference.

##  We have watched many players being interviewed on the field after a game, get a Gatorade bath while talking. The interviewer, often a lady, will get a bath along with him. How long before this gets really, really embarrassing for these ladies, who are usually dressed very nicely?

##  Will this be the year that a division winner in baseball has a sub-.500 record?

##  Question: Would you rather pay $5 million for a .157 average hitter than $24 million for a .320 hitter?  The Yankees did.

##  I remember listening to Mel Allen or Red Barber doing baseball broadcasts all alone. Vin Scully STILL does them all alone for the Dodgers. The Yanks have at least two, often three plus Meredith wandering around the stands. On Sunday nights, ESPN has three in the booth and TWO in the stands. If they would put the game situation on the screen, we really wouldn't need any of them.
I'm trying to find out if it's true that ESPN will have one reporter in the parking lot next week.

##  Speaking of Meredith Marakovits, why is she wandering around the stadiums? Can she not find the booth or won't they give her a key?

##  Has anyone found Chase Headley's glove? He has 11 errors so far this season after averaging less than 9 per season in his first 8 years. Horace Clark averaged a tad over 11 in his 7 seasons as the Yanks 2nd baseman.

##  Have you ever seen a better fielding first baseman than Mark Teixeira? Maybe they should be checking  his glove for pine tar.

##  Robinson Cano isn't hitting like Robinson Cano so far. Can we blame it on his inability to take his leisurely strolls, circling the catcher and umpire, a couple of times during his at-bats?

##  Josh Hamilton is making the LA Angels look like their decision to dump him was a little hasty.

***THEY SAID IT***
"At a Four Seasons in Texas, Johnny Manziel got frustrated with a fan and threw a water bottle at him. Fortunately the situation didn’t escalate any further, as no doubt Manziel’s throw missed the guy by a foot."  -- Janice Hough
"Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto drew a three-ball walk. Finally, our low math scores are having an impact."  -- Brad Dickson
"Police were called to a Michigan McDonald’s after it turned away a man wearing scuba gear. I recall carrying jumper cables into a restaurant once; they warned me not to start anything"  -- RJ Currie
"What have you done to our pitcher?"  -- An e-mail to Chad Picasner from Dwight Perry, Seattle Times night Sports Editor
"Seahawks’ DE Michael Bennett says that playing for coach Pete Carroll “is like playing for Willy Wonka.” Well, except for at the end of the movie, Willy Wonka handed off the factory."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"Lawmakers have voted to repeal the death penalty in Nebraska.Though they will make an exception whenever a Cornhusker football coach loses three games in a season."  -- Dwight Perry

CP-
 

OTHER USELESS STATS

Obviously, baseball is a game dominated by statistics, mostly from an historical view point. In theory, you could  study a box score and pretty much figure out how the game went. There are, however, variables which can only be appreciated by actually watching the game. The numbers will tell you that a center fielder made 6 putouts in a game, but they won't tell you if the man ran down some long drives or he had 6 easy pop ups - "a can of corn" in the Phil Rizzuto vernacular.
But stat-heads aren't satisfied with that, they want to measure everything and come up with statistics that sound like what two drunks arguing in a bar would make up.
The unusual stat
 Mike is hitting .500 against left-handers after the 5th inning in day games, on the road within two weeks after his wife had a baby and his manager has a hangnail.  Now really, how often do you think that situation comes up? Mike's career could be over before those circumstances appear together again. I actually heard an announcer say, "This happens all the time...except when it doesn't." Sounds like Yogi Berra, doesn't it?
The misdirection stat
So-and-so has a history of getting a ground ball in this situation. If he's been around long enough, sure he does. He probably also has a history of three-run homers in the same situation.
The team is  hitting .330 with men in scoring position. Now this sounds like the team scores a run once out of every three times there is a runner in scoring position. Not necessarily so. Three times in the last week, twice in one game, I saw a batter hit a single into the outfield, but the runner on second didn't score.Does that mess up your statistic? Of course it does, but announcers go right on using it without any clarifications.
Can we get rid of the 'Hold?'
I can't figure out how you even earn one. If you come into the game with your team ahead, and you leave the game with your team ahead, is that a Hold? Can you give up runs and still get a Hold? Do you have to pitch a full inning? Is there such a thing as a 'Blown Hold?"  Lord, I hope not.

Try this sometime: Turn on the game and mute the sound for all nine innings. You will accomplish two things: You will discover and enjoy the game of baseball and you will put some analysts out of a job.

** Bryce Harper, Who is leading the Major Leagues in homers and arguments at home plate, is considering sitting out the Home Run Derby at the All-Star game. Will someone please tell him there are no umpires for that event?
** I used to think that the IOC (Olympics) was the most corrupt sports organization ever, followed by the NCAA (American Collegiate sports). Unfortunately, they are in there with the champs. FIFA (soccer) is showing both organizations just what real corruption is.

***THEY SAID IT***

"Jack Nicklaus donated the 3-wood he used to win all 18 of his major golf titles to the USGA Museum. No word on whether Elin Nordegren plans to hand over her 9-iron."  -- Dwight Perry

" ESPN’s Skip Bayless once said LeBron James was the most overrated player in the NBA. Ohioans call that the King James libel"  -- RJ Currie
"RIP Lennie Merullo. He was the last living player who played for the Cubs in a World Series. And most Americans are thinking “How’d he make it to 130?"  -- Janice Hough
"Cincinnati Reds manager Bryan Price was ejected after arguing with umpires while exchanging lineup cards at home plate before a game even started. Somewhere, Billy Martin is smiling."  -- Brad Dickson
" The NBA finals are set. Why do we have to wait until next Thursday before they start? Does it take them a whole week to get the balls inflated to the proper PSI?"  -- TC Chong
"This is the most amazing part about the FIFA scandal: “Do you know how hard it is to take $150 million in bribes without using your hands?”  -- Jerry Perisho

"Slick-fielding Yankees third baseman Chase Headley, who committed nine errors all last season, already has 10 this year. Turns out he’d been giving his Gold Glove a try."  -- Dwight Perry

"Disneyland is celebrating its 60th anniversary. As part of a promotion, next season LeBron James will attempt to make the NBA Finals playing with the seven dwarfs."  -- Brad Dickson
"Rehabbing Marlins ace Jose Fernandez faced live batters in practice for the first time since his surgery, and also became a United States citizen. Fernandez is proof that in America anything is possible, particularly if you can throw 97 mph."  -- Greg Cote
"For all the talk from the Yankees TV booth, funny what creates quiet. Tuesday, on Ch. 11, Michael Kay asked David Cone and Paul O’Neill to name the two players who finished a season with more HRs than singles. After Kay gave the answer, “Mark McGwire, twice, Barry Bonds, once,” silence."  -- Phil Mushnick

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THERE'S A STAT FOR EVERYTHING

I've picked on everyone else, let's take on the official scorers.

Some recently invented statistics.
1)  The Save
They've had this one for a while and there is some validity to it. What I find difficult to deal with is managers organizing the game to allow certain pitchers to accrue this stat. They call these certain pitchers, Closers. What they do is finish the game, preserving the win for his team. Okay, I buy that, but the managers only use them when they can garner this statistic for their own personal records. If a team has a five run lead, for example, you won't see this "closer" in the game. Plus, the closer is only asked to pitch ONE inning, 90% of the time. If your starting pitcher is completely overpowering the opposing team, most managers will take him out and have their closer pitch the ninth inning, even if the starter has only thrown 85 pitches thru 8 innings. Why? Oh, managers will hand you a line of bull like, "I have the gun, why not use it?" or, "I wanted to keep the starter fresh for his next start."  It's all bull.
Two games in a row now, Girardi has pulled a starter who was cruising in the middle of the 7th inning, finishing the inning with one of his set-up guys and then brought in his two big cannons for the 8th & 9th. Both of those starters could have probably pitched a complete game.

2)  Defensive indifference.
This is where the team in the field doesn't hold a runner on at first late in a game where that run won't make any difference. Naturally, the runner takes second but does not get credit for a stolen base. He should. The defending team is spread out a little more to try and prevent a hit even if it puts a runner in scoring position. The team in the field is supposed to try and prevent the hitting team from having any success. If they ignore the runner then there should be some kind of cost to that. That way, they'd have a stolen base charged against them. Baseball is a game dominated by statistics. This "Indifference" rule contaminates those numbers. Doesn't that seem wrong on any level?
There is a story that Thurman Munson manipulated an assist statistic just to further his own cause.  Informed that he trailed his biggest rival, Boston catcher Carlton Fisk, by four assists for the season, Thurman found a way to pad his total. Whenever a pitcher struck a batter out, Munson would intentionally drop the ball and then throw the man out at first. The first baseman got credited with an out, the pitcher got a strikeout and Thurman got his precious assist. After five or six of these "assists," Munson had his lead. What do you call that? Defensive Intention?

3)  The accidental assist.
A batter hits the ball up the middle and the pitcher tics it with his glove. The second baseman catcher the grounder and throws the runner out at first. Both the second baseman AND the pitcher get and assist. Silly. There are times when the pitcher actually needed to slow the ball down for a fielder to make a play, but not always. It doesn't matter, the assist to the pitcher is automatically given. Leave it up to the official scorer to determine if the pitcher should be credited with an assist or not.

4) Is it as hit or an error?
I am constantly amazed at how many times a scorer gives a batter a hit when it seems obvious to me that an error should be charged. I don't care if a ball was "well hit," these are major leaguers. There are only 750 of them on a major league roster out of some 10,000 professional players in the US. They're in the majors because they CAN catch those balls.
I also object to scorers calling pitches 'wild pitches' when they should be passed balls.  In my mind, a wild pitch is one a catcher can't stop or block. Just because it hit the dirt doesn't automatically make it a wild pitch.

Maybe someone my age shouldn't be watching these games. Instead of Chad Picasner, they ought to call me Chad The-Old-Timer.  (For the record, The Sports Curmudgeon was already taken)

The good news.
Guess who is in last place in the AL East? That's right, Boston. Writers may finally be re-evaluating  their opinion of the Red Sox. This came from Ron Borges of the Boston Herald:
"Fortunately for the Sox, the AL East is like a landfill in August when the wind’s blowing just right: It stinks. The good news is that gives the Sox a chance. The bad news is it gives their management an illusion that, “Hey, things aren’t so bad. We’re only four behind the Yankees. So being four out in the AL East is not a sign of life. That’s a delusion shared only by team management and Sox diehards still willing to pay the highest ticket prices in baseball to watch low comedy."

Joe Girardi says that Masahiro Tanaka's next start could be "...anywhere." Let's hope that it isn't Mt. Sinai Hospital.
Buster Olney says that Jeff Loria, owner of the Miami Marlins, should hire Alex Rodriguez as his next manager. All in favor...
For the next three days, the Yankees, champions of the extended ball game, will begin a game on one day and finish the next. They're in Oakland with a 10:05 P.M. start, EDT.

***THEY SAID IT***
"SNY’s Gary Cohen, during Mets-Bucs on Sunday, noted Pittsburgh starter Francisco Liriano has won Comeback Player of the Year — “twice.” Is that anything like having your appendix put back?"  -- Phil Mushnick
"According to a wired.com article, alcohol consumption has been shown to improve the aim of archers. In a related story, Johnny Manziel just bought a bow and arrow."  -- RJ Currie
"Tom Brady and Barry Bonds attended the same California high school. I believe the school's known as The Fighting Asterisks."  -- Brad Dickson
"Breaking news. Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured."  -- Ryan Duca
"Apparently tickets were available for game four of the NBA Eastern Conference finals at a reasonable price since Cleveland fans didn’t seem that interested in showing up. Neither apparently did the Atlanta Hawks."  -- Janice Hough
"Marlins GM Dan Jennings — 2-6 since replacing fired manager Mike Redmond in the Miami dugout — last coached a high-school team in the 1980s. It hasn’t gone unnoticed: Three parents have already called up to complain about their sons’ lack of playing time."  -- Dwight Perry

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