Thursday, December 14, 2017

THE NEVER-ENDING BOWL GAMES

It used to be a really big deal to get into a bowl game. There were about 10 of them when I was a betting...er, a young man, and you had to have a great record to get into one.  They had names like The Gator Bowl, or The Sun Bowl. Of course, there were the big four played on New Years day: Sugar, Cotton, Orange and the Rose Bowl, daddy of them all. Notice too, there were no sponsor's names cluttering up the titles. And forget your record. any excuse a bowl could come up with got you in.
Now, there are some 40 games and they ALL have sponsors. There are so many now that soon the bowls will have to come up with gimmicks to attract fans and teams. Here's what I can see coming up in the near future:

(These are the actual names of bowls)
The Military Bowl
Both teams must remain at attention the whole game 
The Camping World Bowl
No hotels for the teams and no locker rooms. You can shower down by the crick. 
The Play Station Fiesta Bowl
The teams sit in the stands and play Maddon Football on their gameboys.
The Walk-on Independence Bowl 
This one's hard to promote because the game will be played by whoever shows up. 
The AFR Celebration Bowl
There's no game, just a beer party 
The Dollar General Bowl
It won't be much of a game, but hell, it's only a buck. 
The Franklin American Mortgage Bowl
You get in free if you bring a foreclosure notice on your house.

The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl
Next year, you'll be eligible for the Franklin Amer. Mort. Bowl
The CheriBundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl 
After dinner, you come here for dessert. (Record holder for the longest name) 
The Bahama's Bowl
Make sure you see the guy in the parking lot. "I've got the best stuff, Mon."

The oddest sponsor pairing belongs to The Bad Boys Mower Gasparilla Bowl. Lawn care and a pirate. You figure it out.

Enjoy whatever games you prefer. Remember, it's all about supporting colleges and the sport. Or as My Uncle Al used to say., "I'm taking Notre Dame and the points." 

***THEY SAID IT***
"I just saw the video of Edmonton coach Todd McLellan reaming out the Oilers during a recent practice. Profanity? It reminded me of the last call from my ex-wife."  -- RJ Currie
"Reportedly Astros saw that Yu Darvish was tipping his pitches in World Series. Question of the day – why couldn’t the Dodgers see it?"   -- Janice Hough
" On “Monday Night Countdown,” Steve Young bit the head off a raw fish. If this doesn’t restore ESPN to ratings prominence, I don’t know what will."  -- Brad Dickson
"After explosives failed to raze the Silverdome on the first try, they had to rename it Cleveland Browns Stadium to get it to collapse."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"The IOC is considering pole dancing, poker and foosball for the Olympic Games. At the current rate, soon we’ll have Olympic Hangman and beer pong."   -- Brad Dickson
"LiAngelo Ball just got a tweet of sympathy from Bluto Blutarsky: “Three months of college down the drain!”  -- Dwight Perry
"A Florida couple hoping to sue their landlord for not fixing a door faked a break-in by shooting themselves in the leg. Who gave them legal advice? Plaxico Burress?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-





Sunday, December 10, 2017

THE EVIL EMPIRE RETURNS

..and so have I. There have been a lot of mildly (to me) interesting things happening lately, but we finally have a blockbuster. And baseball's winter meetings won't start for a couple more days.

Last year, when the Red Sox landed Chris Sale, it looked like lights out for the AL East. Instead, the Yankees gave Boston all it could handle before the Sox finally won the division only to fall in the first round. Which proves the adage: You can load your roster with big names, but you still have to play the games, The Yankee fans should keep that in mind, because...

The Yanks have added THE big name this year, one Giancarlo Stanton. This gives the Yankees  potentially four 40+ home run hitters. Of course, scoring is only half the battle. You also have to keep the other team from scoring. Cashman will probably try to nab a frontline pitcher. There are a couple of potential land mines with the addition of Stanton:
Can he accept being just one of the stars on a team loaded with them?
How will he react to the overwhelming media coverage?
Can he fit into the clubhouse dynamic?

The Yanks also have a new manager, one with no experience. It will be up to him to get this machine running on all cylinders. Aaron Boone may be a great guy, and a win was expected of him, but now...it's going to be demanded.

The New York media has already come up with one interesting marketing ploy. Aaron Judge may have the "Judges Chambers," but Giancarlo will  have "Stanton's Island." (Between the NY Daily News and the Post, this could be a long summer)

Will we see the birth of a new episode of Murder's Row? The Yanks have had some powerful tandems of sluggers in their past. Ruth and Gehrig, DiMaggio and Berra, and. of course, Mantle Maris. Even if Stanton & Judge match last years home run totals, they still fall 4 short of the M Boys 115 in 1961. It will be fun to see them try.

The Army-Navy game was played in the snow down in Philly yesterday, with Army winning 14-13.
There were 6 punts, 95 runs and only 3 passes. Somewhere, Woody Hayes - author of the "three yards and a cloud of dust" offense, was smiling, having a beer and saying, "Now that's the way we do it."

Syracuse beat Colgate (the college, not the toothpaste) for the 52nd straight time (maybe it was the toothpaste) and they did it with only three players. At least, that's what it seemed like. Howard had 18 points, Brissett had 20 and Tyrus Battle threw in 24. That's 62 points. The whole Colgate team only scored 58. I don't think the Orange played a very aggressive defense: they only had 5 personal  fouls the whole game.

A girls basketball game in Montana ended with the score 102-0. Come on, what reasonable coach would let his team run up a score like that?  Apparently, the losing squad only had five players. I give them credit for staying to the end.


***THEY SAID IT***

" If Yankees win 2018 World Series will they vote Jeter a playoff share?"  -- Janice Hough
" If you already rooted against @Yankees then it’s not sour grapes if you start rooting against Stanton right?"  -- Janice Hough  [Janice is a die-hard SF Giants fan, so expect more of these. - CP]
"Cleveland receiver Josh Gordon said he used drugs or alcohol before every game. “They also help after games,” said Browns fans."  -- RJ Currie
"The IOC said it might consider including pole-dancing, poker and foosball in the next Games. They also said it’s the first Olympics that will be held in a frathouse basement.”  -- Conan O'Brien
"“Giants players beg Al Michaels not to use their real names during starting-lineup introduction.”  -- The Onion.com
" A meteorite may have flown past the U.S. last week. Then again, it may have been a wayward shot from Lonzo Ball."  -- Brad Dickson
"Per presidential custom, Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys last week. He should’ve pardoned the Giants-Washington game."  -- Dwight Perry
"The attempted implosion of The Detroit Pontiac Silverdome was a complete fail. Meanwhile The Detroit Lions continue to implode."  -- TC Chong
"Arizona is considering a bill to outlaw wearing a mask to a public event, which could make it very rough on the catchers during home games for the Diamondbacks."  -- Jim Barach
"Bruins RW David Backes scored two goals in his fourth game back from having surgery to remove part of his colon. That’s right; he punctuated his return with a semicolon"  -- RJ Currie
"I had a nightmare that New York Giants officials were in charge of the North Pole and sat Santa on Christmas Eve to go with his backup."  -- Brad Dickson
"And you wonder why NFL ratings are down! Putting the Dolphins offense on ‘Monday Night Football’ is like putting Aunt Phyllis’ minivan in the Daytona 500."  -- Mike Bianchi
'Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his wife are expecting their first child. There’s no excuse for not getting Mom to the hospital on time.”  -- Brad Dickson

Just so you know it's really a Yankee Christmas at our house this year.
CP-