IT SEEMS I'M IN THE MINORITY

There are a few big stories in sports right now and I'm on the wrong side for the most part.

Sharapova's failed drug test
Okay, I'm certainly against PED's, no matter what the excuse, but this one doesn't upset me as much as some. Sharapova admitted she took a banned substance, didn't blame it on anyone else and didn't say it was an accident. It was a drug she had taken for years, legally, but when it was put on the list this year, she didn't bother to read the notice she was sent. Totally her own fault and she was up front completely about it. There seems to be no sympathy, no understanding and definitely no forgiveness. Should she be suspended? Absolutely. Are her sponsors correct in dropping their sponsorship?  Well, here it gets a little sticky for me. This wasn't a case of someone trying to steal an edge, or trying to hide an illegal act. She made an honest mistake and yet she's being treated like a pariah. People like Bonds and McGwire are given cushy jobs even though they obviously tried to circumvent the rules. Nike continued to back Lance Armstrong, a proven PED user but Sharapova's sponsor jumped off that ship like it was the Titanic.
So punish her of course, but let's have a little more understanding, please.

Gossage fires a high hard one 
The same way he pitched, Goose comes right at you with his opinions. A couple of days ago, he spouted off about all the showboating in baseball, in response to Bryce Harper saying that all the posturing is a good thing. Goose called guys names, pointed fingers and did not give any slack in his opinions. Harper said the game has changed and the fans like it when guys toss bats, stand at the plate and admire home runs and take forever to round the bases. It's okay in his world for pitchers to celebrate openly on the mound after a strikeout. Gossage's point is that they should celebrate but not preen and show up the opponent. Goose also complained that pitchers couldn't brush hitters back without starting a brawl and umpires are trying to read minds about intentions. More about that later.
The Goose even got called into a meeting with Girardi and Cashman over his remarks. Obviously, we don't know exactly what was said in the meeting, but afterwards Goose didn't sound like he had backed off of his statements one bit. I'm on Gossage's side on this one. So jump up and down and clap your hands after hitting a homer but don't stand at home plate admiring your hit. You can still watch it as you run to first. Pitchers can pump their fists after a strike out but low key always. Do that and no one will get upset.

Speaking of high hard ones...
There was an article on ESPN lately about Baseball's unwritten rules. Now we've been over this before and my position is known, especially on some situations.
**What's with "Defensive Indifference." If you allow a guy to steal, you ought to be penalized for it. Just because you have a big lead, doesn't mean you shouldn't play the game right. Not holding a runner on and playing back to prevent a hit isn't right. You're asking the other team  to "help" you get an out. If you don't care if a guy steals, then fine, your pitcher and catcher have a stolen base charged to their record. A team has a big lead and yet they steal a base anyway. You don't like it? Don't get mad, prevent it! Stealing is part of the game.
A pitcher is pitching a no-hitter late in the game. The third baseman plays back to prevent a hit because the batter is "not supposed to bunt for a hit because that is cheap." What's next? Are you going to say a hitter can't swing at a 2-0 or 3-0 pitch because that's unfair to the guy going for a no-hitter? Play the game right, earn your milestone without forcing the other team to help you.
Okay, I'm done.

Is spring training too long?
There are some players that need more time than others. Hitters need to face live pitching. Pitchers need to stretch out their arms, and managers have 60 or 70 players to look at. So, no, I don't think it's too long. Unlike pro football, you can buy season tickets for a team without being forced to buy spring training game tickets at the same price. If they're too long it's only because the media covers every single aspect of it from beginning to end, and we get tired of watching Single A ball players look helpless against the major leaguers.

Thank the lord Billy Martin didn't have to deal with this
Buck Showalter tells the story about telling one of his rookie pitchers how to pitch to a certain batter.
BS: "Listen, I want you to move so-and-so off the plate next time he's up."
Rookie: "Oh I don't think I can do that, skipper."
BS: "Yes, you can. Pitch him inside. Move him off the plate. He's diving across the plate and hitting line drives to right."
 Rookie: "No, I can't do that."
BS: " Look, I'm not asking you to hit him. Just move him off the plate."
Rookie: "I can't ." 
BS: "Why not?"
Rookie: "We have the same agent."

***THEY SAID IT***
"BYU has a junior college transfer tackle named Handsome Tanielu. To give you an idea of the narcissism of college athletes today, at the first practice somebody yelled “Hey, Handsome” and 38 guys turned around."  -- Brad Dickson
" Instead of a calendar girl, I once dated a colander girl. Our relationship was strained."  -- RJ Currie
[Sorry about that, but my wife likes RJ - Chad]

"Russian ice dancer Ekaterina Bobrova tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs, but it was a fait accompli.  Skating officials knew something was amiss the moment she flipped her dance partner into the stands."  -- Dwight Perry

"Now rumors might have both Mark Sanchez and Colin Kaepernick in Denver. Good thing for fans Colorado has legalized marijuana."  -- Janice Hough
"PGA Tour caddies lost their lawsuit seeking compensation for having to wear bibs with advertising: “Dear fellas: Your job consists of carrying a golf bag, telling your guy, ‘178 yards’ and collecting up to 10 percent of his earnings for doing very little. Quiet, please!"  -- Greg Cote
" An elderly fan at a Philadelphia Flyers game removed her bra and threw it on the ice. I’m trying to confirm that the players threw it back."  -- Brad Dickson
"A streaker who ran onto the field during a rugby match in Auckland, New Zealand, claims he was repeatedly punched by a security guard after he was apprehended. So both could face charges — as in public indecency for the streaker and, for the guard, naked aggression."  -- Dwight Perry
"Leonardo DiCaprio won an Academy Award for The Revenant. The Cleveland Browns have a shot at an ESPY for The Irrelevant."  -- RJ Currie
" The Colts resigned Adam Vinatieri for 2016. Not sure how this fits with Indianapolis’s cap room, but at least the team knows his medical bills will be covered under Medicare."  -- Janice Hough
"I'm refusing to call Johnny Manziel the Edsel of draft picks. Let’s be fair. The Edsel lasted three years."  -- Bud Shaw, Cleveland Plain Dealer
" Former Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle has been arrested for the sixth time in 17 months. That ties the record held by Otis on “The Andy Griffith Show."  -- Brad Dickson
"The news isn’t all bad for William Collins, the Kentucky fullback arrested after allegedly pilfering a parking meter and trying to flee from the cops. He’s the world-record holder in the one-meter dash."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Nebraska high school state basketball tournament is underway. Some claim Nebraska has too many classes. There may be something to that. A Class D-2 school had to suit up the shop teacher."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-
 

JUST BIDING MY TIME

It's still too early to comment about the teams since these spring training games are only mildly interesting for about 4 innings. After that, you're looking at a lot of players who probably won't make it to the majors for at least two years, if then. A-Rod's hitting pretty good, so is Beltran, but you can't pay too much attention to that since they're not really facing major league pitching.
In the meantime, we'll look at some of the other things happening in sports.

Cleveland Cavs
There seems to be a lot of talk about a lack of team chemistry here. The biggest question mark centers around Kevin Love. Does he get along with King James or not? Does he want to be in Cleveland at all? LeBron seems to be trying to keep it all together, but his celebrity status may be getting in the way, no matter how hard he tries to keep that from happening. One or two great players will not carry a team to a championship. You need that chemistry and it doesn't look good for the Cavs.
In the meantime, Steph Curry and the boys keep rolling.

Who wants to interview Gregg Popovich?
This may be the toughest job in broadcasting. Poppy won't deal with all the "fluff" questions ("Your team is down 12 points. What do you attribute to that?"  Popovich: "They scored more points.") A couple of days ago, I saw this. "Coach, you have a reputation for being a good coach. It's a pleasure to watch you work. Your team really responds..." "Yeah, yeah. Is there a question here? I've got a job to do."
Then, he left. Those interviewers better do their homework.
It reminds me of an interview with Bobby Knight I once saw. The reporter asked a question and Knight started to answer, then stopped. "What a ridiculous question," he said. "You're better than that. I know you. You're pretty smart. Try again." The reporter asked an entirely different question. "Now that's better," said Knight. "I knew you could do it. That's an intelligent, well-thought out question. Very good."
Then, he left. 

Good old ESPN
Once again, they pre-empted one of my favorite shows - The Sports Reporters - to air a special on some "breaking news." Peyton Manning has - are you sitting down? - retired. Why does that need an hour-long special? He doesn't even officially retire until Monday. Why do we have to relive his life complete with interviews with people we never head of? Didn't they learn anything from "The Decision?" Of course, they will eventually return to having pretty girls in sexy clothes laughing and flirting with their male counterparts. The real shame is that these ladies seem to know what they're talking about. This is serious business people. Treat these ladies with respect.    

Even worse when you pair ESPN with MLB
Unless you live in any major metropolitan area and regularly go to baseball games, you probably don't realize how badly these fans are treated by MLB. Read this article by Phil Mushnick of the NY Post:
 http://nypost.com/2016/03/06/no-saturday-1-p-m-mets-games-just-the-latest-mlb-money-grab/
And they wonder why attendance is dropping.

This could be the year of upsets. 
There isn't a college team that appears totally dominant this year. None of the major teams has less than 4 losses. There are going to be second seeded teams in the NCAA Tourny with 6 or even 7 losses. I was going to comment on how Syracuse might not get in because they will end up with 11 losses, but they won't be alone. We may even have teams with losing records in the tournament. Joe Lunardi, the Bracket King, has a nice head of hair right now, but lets see how he looks at the end of the week.

I pledge allegiance... 
I read that the Yanks Aroldis Chapman is applying to become a U.S. citizen. A citizen? This guy throws 105 miles an hour. We're not even be sure he's human yet.

The name game.
The Savannah Bananas. It turns out it's a baseball team. I thought it was the staff of a hotel I once stayed in Savannah.

***THEY SAID IT***
"In New Mexico, there is now a donkey baseball league. “Yeah, kid, we’re, uh, sending you down.” “To Class A?” “No. Uh, you ever ridden a mule?”  In a sign of the times, three donkeys tested positive for PEDs."  -- Brad Dickson

"Peyton Manning, in a speech last night at the Florida Forum “Many of you have probably heard that I have a significant announcement to make, so I thought I’d go ahead and make it with all of you here tonight. Papa John’s is offering 50 percent off tonight through Friday.”
Someday Manning may have the only funeral where they hand out pizza coupons."  -- Janice Hough
" Jason Day phoned Tiger Woods for advice on backing up a physical game with mental toughness. Not discussed: backing up an SUV."  -- RJ Currie

"Warriors guard Klay Thompson and two teammates, taking advantage of their road stop in Orlando, visited the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Apparently they wanted to see the new Steph Curry exhibit."  -- Dwight Perry

" 54 years ago, Wilt Chamberlain seemingly scored at will. He also tallied 100 points in an NBA game.”  -- Fark.com

"Kobe Bryant had his dislocated middle finger popped back into place. Thank goodness. Without use of his middle finger, Kobe was totally unable to communicate with teammates during practice."  -- Brad Dickson
"On Steph Curry’s NBA wizardry: “He’s Picasso and everyone else is painting-by-numbers.”  -- Norman Chad
"Gianni Infantino was elected FIFA president: “Infantino immediately thanked all of the voters who’d accepted his bribes. Oh, I’m just kidding! Probably.”  -- Greg Cote
"About two dozen prisoners ran 105 laps inside the penitentiary walls at this year’s annual San Quentin Marathon.Though progressive inmates are reportedly pushing to replace it with a pole-vault competition."  -- Dwight Perry
"Last weekend at the Theater at Madison Square Garden, Bud Crawford knocked down and then TKO’d “Hammerin’ ” Hank Lundy, who is now answering to “Topplin’ Hank Lundy.”  -- Brad Dickson
"Pablo Sandoval told reporters he reported to spring training with a fat ratio of 17 per cent. But enough about the man’s head."  -- RJ Currie
"The downside of MLB limiting mound visits to 30 seconds this season: “How will players be able to decide on good wedding gifts?”  -- Janice Hough  [Recalling the movie "Bull Durham"]

CP-
 

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Actually, they won't start in earnest until Wednesday, that's if you really believe spring training games are "earnest" at all.

"Hope springs eternal..."
At this time of the year, all 30 teams are confident they will be in the postseason. By June 1st, however, the separation will be evident and there will be about half the teams that are legitimate contenders. Right now, the Chicago Cubs are the overwhelming favorite to win it all. I never thought I'd ever write that sentence.
The Yanks are picked to finish anywhere from 2nd to last in the AL East. The writers' fascination with Boston continues as the Red Sox are favored to win the AL East and maybe win it all. I still don't see it.

The Yanks biggest problem is health.Everyone is worried about the pitching staff, but look at the outfield. The first game is still 5 days off and already the Yanks have held back Brett Gardner to save a sprained wrist the he injured last year in their one playoff game. Every year it's something with him and the biggest problem is, nobody seems to know about any problem and he tries to play through it. His enthusiasm is impressive but his production stinks when he does this.
The centerfielder, Jacoby Ellsbury, is as brittle as puff pastry and he has a hard time staying on the field and an even tougher time producing when he is.
The rightfielder, Carlos Beltran, turns 39 in April, and plays the outfield like he's 139. He can still hit, though.
In the infield, you have Mark Teixeira, 36 in April, who can still play when he's not beating himself up. Tex expects to play 4 or 5 more years. If Greg Bird heals up in good shape, Tex probably won't be in a Yankee uniform for those last 4 years. Even A-Rod is saying that he can only go as far as his 40-year old body can take him. I haven't even mentioned the pitching staff, so....
If they stay healthy, they can win it all and easily, if not, the majority of the Yankee press conferences will be held in the lobby of New York Presbyterian hospital.

Here and there
**Pablo Sandoval showed up at the Red Sox training camp carrying a lot of baggage. Oh yeah, he had some luggage with him, too. Why does he say that his weight is fine? Why does the team say his weight is not an issue? It IS an issue. By the middle of August, he looks like he just played a double-header in the Mojave Desert. I know KFC doesn't think his weight is an issue.
**Steph Curry is not human. He hit 10 more 3-pointers last night, one of them from half-court - a bank shot, no less. It would not surprise me if they suddenly discover he's actually a bionic man...or an alien.
**I watched Bob Lee of ESPN talking about FIFA voting for a new president and the candidates all saying they can save soccer for the world. Apparently, this is a vote taking place today, which Lee says will probably be the first of many. "After this vote, there will probably be more after some back...room politicking."  Now, he didn't say it but it looked like he was about to call it "backstabbing," but stopped himself. You should have said it, Bob, you know that's what we're all thinking.
**Dexter Fowler, the Cubs centerfielder, rejected a qualifying offer of $15.8 million from the Cubs to become a free agent. He also rejected a 2-year $17 million offer from Baltimore. Bad move, Dexter. There were no other offers. He has now signed an $8 million offer from those same Cubs. Wouldn't you have like to hear his agent explain that one to him? "See, Dexter, I thought...um, in free agency...somebody was sure to...I don't know. Just sign for the $8 million and we'll try again next year. ...I'll do better. Honest." 

***THEY SAID IT*** 
"The Ringling Bros. Circus has a clown college. Half the schools in the SEC tried to schedule a nonconference football game against this school."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Donald says he plans to build a border wall between the US and Mexico. In related news, Vegas bookmakers have just made Mexico the favorite for this summer’s Olympic Pole Vault competition."  -- TC Chong
"During this week’s FIFA elections. “Outgoing president Sepp Blatter has announced he won’t endorse any particular candidate until all bribes have been formally submitted to his office.”  -- David Whitley
"Johnny Manziel is back on Twitter, Retweeting advice he got from Charlie Sheen?! Ah, good to see Manziel is looking for serious role models."  -- Janice Hough
"Thai teen golf sensation, Sherman Santiwiwatthanaphong, looks destined for the LPGA Tour. Now all she needs are a few sponsor exemptions and a foot-wide scorecard."  -- Dwight Perry
"Oddsmakers have installed the Cubs as 4-1 favorites to win the World Series. Waiter, I’ll have what they’re having."  -- Tim Hunter
"Thousands of Liverpool soccer fans walked out during a game last week to protest ticket price increases. Their principal owner, Fenway Sports Group, who also own the Red Sox, immediately issued an apology, stating they will cancel the increases and look for further avenues to save money, like making Papi and Sandoval pay for their own Dunkin Donuts."  -- TC Chong
"Former NFL receiver Chad Johnson claims he soaked his sprained ankles in a teammate's urine. Call me old-school purist, but I think the only time a player should borrow a teammate’s urine is when he needs it to pass a drug test."  -- Brad Dickson
"Wonder if even Derek Jeter is thinking this  Kobe Bryant farewell tour is getting over the top?"  -- Janice Hough
"A man named Bud Weisser was caught trespassing at a Budweiser plant. Peyton Manning insisted on throwing the book at him, but came up twenty yards short."  -- RJ Currie

CP-
 

WE'RE CLOSE TO SOME BASEBALL NEWS

Pitchers and catchers start today but in the meantime, there's college basketball.

Duke over N. Carolina
Dickie V. must have had an orgasmic experience last night, watching his 'Dukies" upset Carolina. I can no longer handle watching a game that Dick Vitale is announcing..."Baby!" I know, I could just mute the sound, but I like hearing the crowd, they're college kids and they really get into the game. I've read that Vitale insists on doing Duke games and the network gives in because they think he's a draw. Note to network executives: He isn't!!  Let him do the Slippery Rock State games.Maybe he won't be able to find his way back.


Louisville over Syracuse
The recap I read said that Louisville's defense won the game for them. They "held" the Orange to 38% shooting. No, they didn't. Syracuse held the Orange to 38% shooting. Syracuse missed layups, dunks, jump shots - they even shot 57% from the free throw line. Even Annie-O can make 60% and she's got a bad shoulder. No, Louisville's defense wasn't the only reason for the Cardinal victory. The Orange offense contributed greatly to the cause.
Another annoying feature was the networks insistence on highlighting "Rivalry Week," during the game. They cut the screen in half with one section taken up by three clowns talking about the great Duke-No. Carolina rivalry - during the Syracuse game. Forget any commentary about the SU-Louisville game, the next game was obviously more important. There must be a way to blame this on Dickie V, too.

Baseball Predictions
It's difficult for me to make any predictions, because I'm prejudiced and I tend to see with my heart and not with my brain, especially when it comes to the Yankees. It is interesting to see what others feel about the coming season.
The Yanks have been slotted to finish anywhere from 2nd to last, depending on the prejudices of the particular writer. I get that. What I don't get is this fascination with the Boston Red Sox. Every year, the forecasters pick them to finish first and possible win the World Series. For the last two years, they couldn't have been more wrong. They're all back at it this year. The Yanks get no backing because they have too many question marks. The three main hitters are old (A-Rod, Teixeira and Beltran) and can't be expected to perform like last year. The pitching has a history of injuries and they have a 2nd baseman who has not played the position before. Therefore, back to the cellar for you.
Ah, but the Red Sox. Well, they fixed their whole pitching staff because they signed one ace starter.Even though the rest of the staff stunk last year, they will all perform much better this year. Their third baseman WILL hit like he was 25 again.   Their first baseman will be an all-star, even though they haven't shown him where first base is yet. And their youngsters will continue to improve exponentially.
I don't know. Maybe it will happen that way and it's my glasses that are fogged.

I keep reading about the the Olympic venues in Rio. Are they really that dangerous? If they are, why did the IOC award Rio the 2016 event? I hope all these athletes are safe.

***THEY SAID IT***
" In the Sabres-Panthers game, Evander Kane and Alex Petrovic fought three times. Three fights in one night? Was that a hockey game or a marriage?"  -- RJ Currie

"Browns QB Johnny Manziel (accused of domestic violence) and Bills RB LeSean McCoy (bar fight) are doing their part to keep the NFL in the news after the Super Bowl. Hey, if you can’t be All-Pro, be All-Con."  -- Dwight Perry

"Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch tweeted out his retirement announcement. Knowing Lynch, he had 136 characters left over."  -- Brad Dickson

" After overcoming a childhood stuttering problem to become a freewheeling TV commentator: “Learning how to speak is my greatest accomplishment and everybody else’s worst nightmare."  -- Bill Walton

" The NBA is mulling whether to let teams put a corporate logo on their jerseys in 2017-18: “Meaning, by about the 2020-21 season, the uniforms should all look like NASCAR’s"  -- Janice Hough

"Jays third baseman Josh Donaldson landed a two-year, $28.7 million contract. Congrats on the deal. Now you can tip your barber so he’ll stop doing what he does to you."  -- Ex-teammate Brandon McCarthy

" Super Bowl MVP Von Miller went to Disneyland after the game. He was still so stoked, he sacked Goofy three times."  -- RJ Currie

"A temporary ski jump 140 foot high was installed inside Fenway Park for a U.S. Grand Prix snowboarding/freestyle event. Hard-boiled Bostonians say they haven’t seen anything go downhill this fast at Fenway since the 2014 Red Sox."  -- Dwight Perry

"The Phoenix Waste Management PGA tournament was just held. I hate to even picture that trophy."  -- Brad Dickson
"As seen (Sunday) on TV: Notre Dame’s women’s basketball team in gray uniforms, Florida’s and Washington’s in black uniforms. The score graphics identified all three by their official, traditional school colors, which weren’t in sight."  -- Phil Mushnick

CP-

HO-HUM

It's that bad time of the year between the Super Bowl and March Madness. Oh yes, spring training for MLB starts in about a week, but even that's boring for a while. Hockey...not my thing even if they played in my back yard. Pro basketball doesn't generate much interest until the playoffs, even for the players. It's even too early to speculate in the seeding for the NCAA Basketball Tournament, although the analysts try. So what's left? Let's pull some interesting things out of the world of sports.

Ask a stupid question...
Sometimes I feel bad for these announcers that are asked to ambush a coach at halftime as they head to the locker room to ask a question that no one cares about the answer to. Especially the female announcers, who seem a little more intimidated by big name coaches than the guys.
Last week, a lady reporter stopped San Antonio's coach, Gregg Popovich, at halftime and mentioned the the Spurs were trailing their opponent. "What's the reason for that," she asked? Very quickly, Popovich answered, "They scored more points than us." The lady had no where to go after that.

Can we make them any more uncomfortable?
Speaking of the awful situations ESPN insists on putting these ladies in, watch some of the setups they use. The last few days, I've noticed that a woman and two men, or three men, sometimes two women and two men, are sitting around a table that must be a bout 4-foot tall. They give them these tall stools to sit in. They have arms and a back alright, but they're very tall. Not only don't the ladies feet touch the ground, but they can't even reach the rung near the bottom to rest their feet. They also wear short skirts and are always placed on the outside. [The always seem very self-conscious about their skirts riding up; so much so that they don't seem to concentrate on the conversation:Annie-O]They look like little kids sitting there. Even Annie-O commented that the women couldn't even cross their legs comfortably. Sometimes they stand on opposite sides of a set and banter with a male counterpart. Occasionally they even give us a score. Please ESPN, a little decorum?

You are a professional, after all. 
The latest thing in pro basketball is the "Hack-attack."  That's where you continually foul a really bad free throw shooter and force him to shoot free throws. These poor souls are only making as little as 40%  of their chances. No one likes it - not the coaches, the fans, the players or the Commissioner. But they still do it. Why? It works. So it will continue. There is talk of a rule change, but you don't need more rules. You want to stop it? MAKE THE DAMN FREE THROWS. You're paid millions to play a game. Put in a few hours practicing them. What else do you have to do?

Speaking of too many rules... 
One aspect of the college game that I like, is when the students "storm the court" after the home team upsets the visiting team, especially if the visitors come to town ranked #1. They're kids, they get excited. I suppose it's possible that someone could get hurt, but there's less chance of injury doing that than playing football. They Big 12, in it's infinite wisdom, has disallowed the court-storming in their games, so when Kansas State upset #1 Oklahoma in Manhattan, Kansas, the students couldn't go onto the floor to celebrate with their team, so the whole team ran up into the stands and they celebrated with the fans up there. Apparently, the team planned in advance to do this. Nothing bad happened but that won't matter. I sense another rule in the works.

Quote of the week:
"The star-studded cast in FX’s “The People vs. O.J. Simpson” includes Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. Simpson, John Travolta as Robert Shapiro, David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian, and Peyton Manning as the slow, white Bronco."  -- Argus Hamilton

 ***THEY SAID IT***

" Douglas County is cracking down on restaurants that haven’t paid their fees. Nothing can ruin a romantic Valentine's dinner faster than seeing your maitre d handcuffed and wrestled to the floor"  -- Brad Dickson
"According to Forbes, Maria Sharapova makes $23 million a year off-court helping to sell products. And $5 million on-court helping to sell earplugs."  -- RJ Currie

"A robot dubbed Eldrick — in honor of Tiger Woods — hit a hole-in-one on the same par-3 16th hole at the TPC Scottsdale course in Arizona that Woods once did.  Eldrick is so realistic, witnesses say, that it even backed into a fire hydrant while trying to quickly exit the course."  -- Dwight Perry

"Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana performed the Super Bowl 50 coin flip. Maybe time has clouded my memory, but I believe it will mark the first time Montana ever threw something on Super Sunday that hit the grass."  -- Scott Ostler

"So SEC football colleges, in the name of pre-emptive, preventative social activism, now hold preseason seminars to tell their recruits they shouldn’t commit battery or sexual assault against women — apparently at least some of the recruits arrive unaware."  -- Phil Mushnik

"Super Bowl concessions prices for small drinks were $12-15 for beer, and $15-25 wine. And Yankees fans are going “why so cheap?"  -- Janice Hough
"Super Bowl MVP Von Miller went to Disney World, where he sacked Goofy six times. Peyton Manning went to the Happiest Place on Earth – a Budweiser factory."  -- Brad Dickson

"Peyton Manning didn’t say definitely after the game that he was retiring. But guessing Americans will have to watch “The People vs. OJ Simpson if they want to see more of a slow white Bronco."  -- Janice Hough
 
 CP-


            

IT'S ALMOST OVER

Or is it? Years ago (I know, here we go again), the normal Sunday pro football pre-game show was an hour long. Playoff games - and Superbowl games - were two hours long. Then the network got smart (?) and extended the pre-game to five and six hours. Who actually stuck with all of that? The sponsors? Yes, until their spot aired. The network execs? They were too busy hosting their press parties. The players families? They were AT the parties. Not even the announcers and analysts who weren't part of the show. Both of them were languishing in a bar someplace.

I suppose I can understand the six-hour pre-game show, they want to delve deeply into the two teams. But now the Pre-Game Show started 10 days ago and peaked this past Monday. "Everything you ever wanted to know..." - sounds like a Johnny Carson Great Carnac routine, doesn't it?
The worst part is that they talk and talk and talk...then everybody picks Carolina. My bookie knew that two weeks ago...and he didn't need to get a report from the teams practice facilities.

Anyway, whether you're rooting for Carolina or exercising the nostalgia button and praying for Peyton, Enjoy the game. I'll be hoping my home-made nachos are tasty.

Omaha - Omaha!

College basketball
I told Annie-O this morning that the March Madness Brackets were going to be brutal this year. There is no clear-cut, dominant team to lead the field. Being labeled #1 in the country has been a kiss of death so far this year.  Is it parity or mediocrity?  Both. All the teams are equally mediocre.

If you want to succeed this year, you better be able to shoot free throws. Notre Dane beat #2 North Carolina yesterday, 80 - 76. ND was 31 for 38 (81.5%) from the free throw line. 38 free throws? That's outrageous.  Plus, NO ONE from N. Carolina fouled out.  Better than 38% of ND's points came from the charity stripe.
More free throw madness? Duke guard Grayson Allen is averaging 20.9 points/game, 2nd in the ACC. He scored 28 in Duke's win over NC State, and was 12-12 from the free throw line.

Speaking of fouls, I STILL don't know what constitutes a charge from a blocking foul. I suspect the refs don't either.

Baseball
Okay, you can relax now, Yankee fans. The Yanks have signed 23-year old infielder Pete Kozma as utility infield depth. He has a career average of .222 with 3 homers in about 700 ABs. so...very deep depth.

Don't forget to tune in tomorrow for the first pre-game show for Super Bowl #51 on ESPN starting at 1:00 pm.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Broncos, encountered a bus mishap and a player getting nabbed in a prostitution sting less than 48 hours after arriving for the Super Bowl. Apparently their tour guide is Charlie Sheen."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"Super Bowl media night featured hand puppets, a leprechaun and a reporter in an “orange skinsuit.” I’m just glad this thing didn’t turn into a circus."  -- Brad Dickson
"There has been a  58% percent increase in NFL concussions in 2015 compared to 2014, due mostly to Seahawks fans after February’s Super Bowl slapping themselves on their foreheads."  -- TC Chong
" Brett Favre said he “would never bet against Peyton Manning”‘ in a Super Bowl. Well, until Brett changes his mind tomorrow."  -- Janice Hough
"Bad news: groundhog Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow. That’s right — six more weeks hearing about Peyton Manning’s Super Bowl legacy."  -- RJ Currie


"A Belgian cyclist was disqualified after getting caught with a concealed motor in her bike at the cyclocross world championships. Jeez, I hate it when officials nitpick. Other competitors got suspicious when she pulled into Jiffy Lube during a race."  -- Brad Dickson
"Today, the Dow ended down 249 points. I’m sorry, did I say the Dow? I meant the Lakers."  -- Conan O'Brien
"The Raiders are checking out a possible move to Las Vegas. In addition, they are looking into the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"Clete Blakeman, this year’s Super Bowl referee, hails from Omaha, Neb. So he’ll be the one who keeps saying “Huh?” every time Peyton Manning barks his signals."  -- Dwight Perry

"Last week, Cam Newton was spotted in gold zebra print pants. He looked like he had just come from a garage sale at Johnny Weir’s home."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Lakers announced plans for a sculpture of Shaquille O’Neal outside Staples Center. If Kobe Bryant is ever honoured in bronze, Shaq’s statue will have its back turned to Kobe’s."  -- RJ Currie

CP-










 

WE'RE BOTH WRONG

I call the period between the World Series and the start of spring training in baseball, The Silly Season. Vod says there is also one that takes place every four years during the Presidential elections.
It appears that in sports, at least, it's ongoing and at all levels. I suppose you could also describe politics as a never-ending Silly Season.

Vod has a better handle on the political scene, so I'll leave that to him.

In sports, we may be leaving "Silly" in the rear view mirror and proceeding to idiotic at a breakneck clip.
** College basketball  
If you don't like the refs calls, just trip him as he runs down the court. Don't forget to say you're sorry, you didn't mean to trip him. Jarmal Reid of Oregon has mastered this one. He'll be suspended for what, three games? Four? Certainly not more than that.
If you dunk the basketball, make sure you puff up and pose so everybody in the arena - and especially the other team - knows how good you are. Actually, all you've proven is that you're tall. Don't believe me? Watch ESPN's Top Ten plays. At least four of them will be dunks and NONE of them exhibiting any athletic ability except the ability to jump and land without falling down.
**College football
If you're a star, you can do whatever you want. College rules don't apply to you, team rules maybe just a little - very little. State laws, well that's why you have an agent and a lawyer, even though you're not supposed to (see the first two sentences). And above all, women are there for your pleasure.
Jameis Winston was accused by a former student at Florida State of raping her. Winston denied the charges, the school reluctantly "investigated," and did nothing. The woman sued, and finally the school has basically given her $950,000 to just go away. BUT, now FSU president John Thrasher has said that "...we would have won the case in court," so basically that this was just a cost-effective solution. You don't have to be a college graduate to see through this nonsense. If I were Winston and I was innocent, I would not pay one red cent to walk away from this. I would insist on being cleared.
**Professional football
You must spend more time designing and practicing your end zone dance than your playbook. After all, that's how you show the world what a great player you are. I've scored a touchdown. Hooray for me!
If you're a coach, you're job is to win - at all costs. So if you have to bend the rules a little - or a lot - go ahead. Translate the rules in a 'different' way. Tamper with equipment. Spy on the other teams practices. And above all, deny, deny, deny. You can even pay a fine but still deny. Watch Patriots owner Bob Kraft display this tactic.
If you're the NFL president, you can stress how concerned the league is with player safety, deny that serious concussions take place and then institute laws to address the increase in concussions.
**Professional baseball
If you're a player, always assume you are worth 3 times what you really are. Tell reporters you're insulted that a team only offered you $8 million a year when you're clearly worth $15 million. After all, you have a family to feed.  Don't forget to insist you want to sign with a team that can win, that it's not about the money. Say it loudly because NOBODY believes that.
Team owners offer a fading star millions of dollars for umpteen years for that drawing power which fades along with the star's ability. Don't worry about the cost, make it up at the concession stands. People don't mind paying $8 for a hot dog and $12 for a beer. And parking is certainly worth $25. 
**Tennis
Rumor has it that one of the top pro players accepted a bribe to lose a match. So far, a lot of denials, but I don't know what to believe anymore. 
 
The football Pro-Bowl is on today. I'd watch it if I knew who was playing. The roster limit is 44 players. So far, 45 players have passed on playing because of injuries(?). Maybe they can get some of those Punt, Pass and Kick kids to play.
No interest? Okay, watch the NHL All-Star game. One of the worst players (but the best brawler) has been chosen for the game. Not only chosen, but he's been named the Captain!  Yeah, that sounds right.
Then there's the hockey player, Dennis Wideman,  who skated halfway across the ice after a ref he was unhappy with. He hit him from behind with both arms, driving the ref face first onto the ice. Afterwards  he claimed it was "accidental and unavoidable."  Sure, it was:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj4PoDrqv-E

 ***THEY SAID IT***
"The Lakers announced plans for a life-size bronze statue of Shaquille O’Neal outside Staples Center. It’ll be just like Shaq, only lighter and more mobile."  -- RJ Currie
"Police were called over an “incident” potentially involving Johnny Manziel and his ex-girlfriend early Saturday morning.  So congrats to all those who had January 30 in the last pool."  -- Janice Hough
"There is a new European-made movie that shows paint drying. Good, now I have something to do during Sunday's Pro Bowl."  -- Brad Dickson

"Greenpeace claims that China’s worsening air quality is due to a windless winter there.Problem solved! We’ll just lend them Dick Vitale for a few days."  -- Dwight Perry

"Security for the Super Bowl features fighter jets, helicopters and K-9 units: “Or as Bay Area football fans call such extreme measures, a regular-season Raiders game.”  -- Jim Barach
"An NFL player is about to become a father for the 12th time with nine different women. So today, he was traded to the NBA."  -- Conan OBrien

"We might have a winner for the year in the #Youhadonejob, and it goes to the guy in charge of painting the end zones for Super Bowl 50 at Levi’s Stadium – they painted TWO with the Broncos logo.  And forgot about the Panthers."  -- Janice Hough
" There are allegations of match-fixing in professional tennis. You look at pro tennis. Football. Major League Baseball. Boxing. Soccer. Soon, our cleanest event will be the Tour de France."  -- Brad Dickson
"Reporters with a social conscience like to paint a stark contrast between Super Bowl glamour and celebrity parties, and the “have-nots” across town living in poverty. However, that will not be possible this year because Santa Clara is affluent and has shipped both of its homeless people to San Jose for the week."  -- Greg Cote
"Kobe Bryant was asked if he’ll pursue a spot on the next U.S. Olympic basketball team. To everyone’s surprise, he said he’d pass."  -- RJ Currie
"Tyronn Lue is the new coach of the Cavs. Take that, Husker basketball detractors. One of our own is telling Kevin Love what to do. One of our own is telling LeBron what — OK, well, he’s telling Love."  -- Brad Dickson

CB-
 

The 'Every Four Years' Silly Season

The following is a public service announcement

Many folks are confused about the candidates running for president. 

Others are exhibiting ever-increasingly delirious behaviors. No wonder! 

Do phrases like … ‘build on the Obama legacy’, ‘… we never win. We lose at everything”, and … ‘carpet bomb and turn the desert to glass’ remind you of anyone?

When the current claimed frontrunners are Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump or Ted Cruz - then, times are gettin’ hard boys…

To help remember who the really dangerous ones are - read, sing,  hum or chant ‘Political Science’ and give a hearty, “Yup!” You will feel better and smarter. Really. (That is Iowa vernacular for, 'Really.')

Political Science

- Randy Newman (1972 on his album ‘Sail Away’)

No one likes us, I don't know why.

We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try.

And all around, even our old friends put us down,

Let's drop the big one, and see what happens.

We give them money, but are they grateful?

No their spiteful and their hateful,

They don't respect us, so let's surprise them,

We'll drop the big one, and pulverize them.

Asia's to crowded, and Europe's too old,

Africa is far to hot, and Canada's too cold,

And South America stole our name,

Let's drop the big one, they'll be no one left to blame us.

We'll save Australia,

Don't want to hurt no kangaroo.             

We'll build an all American amusement park there, they got surfin’  too.

Boom! goes London, Boom! Pa-reee,

More room for you, and more room for me,

And every city, the whole world 'round,

Will just be another American town.

Oh how peaceful it will be, 

We'll set everybody free,

They'll be a Japanese Kimono for you, they'll be Itallian shoes for me.

They all hate us anyhow, so let's drop the big one now,

Let's drop the big one now. 

THERE'LL BE SOME CHANGES MADE

Since nobody wants to trade and the only "name player" in serious negotiations is Yoenis Cespedes, the baseball pundits are forced to come up with their own story lines and what better theme than telling us how baseball should change. Some ideas are good, some are minor and some will never happen. Here are some of the more prominent ones.

** A 28-man rotating roster. 28 roster players but only 25 can be declared active for a game. Good points: more players available for the manager to use. Yesterday's starting pitcher, who wouldn't be available anyway, can be taken off the active list and replaced with a player who could help. Problems:   How do you account for accrued Major League time? It means 3 more players that need to be paid at the ML level. This one will probably kill that idea.
** Move the trade deadline to Aug 15th instead of July 31st. Good points: Teams will have a better idea if they have a chance or not and teams that do will go after players more aggressively. This one should work.
** Limit the mound visits in a game to two only. If a manager wants to change pitchers, he can stand at the top of the dugout and signal (no visit is charged). What conversations take place during these visits anyway? "How are you feeling?" "I can't feel my arm, coach. Take me out." "Can you get this guy out?" "Only if I hit him in the head." "Hey! Throw strikes." "Wow. I never thought of that, skipper."
Catchers and infielders can visit for only 15 seconds without a 'visit' being charged. If the game goes extra innings, an extra 2 visits will be allowed.
Boy, do I love this one.
** Eliminate the "save" statistic. It's the most worthless stat in baseball, including the WAR and all the cybermetic defensive numbers. I understand the need for a pitcher that can close out a game, but the stat itself is artificial. Managers won't bring in their 'closer' unless it's a save situation. The three-run limit is even dumber. A closer could face as many as EIGHT batters and still get credited for a save. Yeah, that's the way to close out a game.
Jayson Stark suggests "Relief Points." A reliever gets one point for closing out a 3-run lead, two points for a 2-run lead and three points for a 1-run lead. The best part is that a reliever in the 7th or 8th inning would also be eligible for points, providing he completes an inning. He would lose a point for each run he might allow. This gives the set-up men some well-deserved recognition and can really make three relievers interchangeable. 
I suggest we call these points "Gossages" after a reliever who actually SAVED games by pitching as many as three innings to close out a win. 
I love this one, too, but it'll never happen. Having a "closer" lets the manager off the hook when it comes to making a pitching change. 

It seems that the NL may adopt the Designated Hitter  for the 2017 season. I like this for three reasons. 
1) It helps to keep some aging stars, who can still hit but can't play in the field, in the game.Where would David Ortiz have been for the last four years without this?   2) Never mind that 99% of pitchers look ridiculous at the plate, what happens when they get on base and get hurt? I'm not swayed by the people who claim the managers manipulation of his roster is one of the most intriguing part of the game. Who are they kidding? That manager is guessing just like you.   3) It eliminates the unfairness when teams from each league play each other. One team will always have an advantage. This is especially unfair when you get to the playoffs.

FOOTBALL
It's time for pro football to get really serious this week end. Four teams fighting for a spot in the Superbowl. I don't do a lot of research for football, so here is a strictly emotional prediction for Sunday's games. 
Arizona over Carolina. I like the Cardinals colors better.
Denver over New England. I know, this has little chance but I'm rooting for one last hurrah for Archie Manning's oldest. 
If these teams win, I' be crowing from the roof tops. If they lose, I'll get lots of sympathy.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Cleveland Cavaliers, 30-11, have fired coach David Blatt. Wait a minute, the Cavs had a coach besides Lebron?"  -- Janice Hough
"A Berlin zoo has been feeding old Christmas trees to its elephants, presumably while they cheered on Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay. After all, they are Packer-derms."  -- RJ Currie  [RJ calls this his "Groaner of the week]
"A St. Louis sports-talk radio host announced he was shipping a 30-pound package of manure to Rams owner Stan Kroenke, who’s moving the NFL team to Los Angeles.In a startling reversal of fortune, Kroenke spent the week looking out for No. 2."  -- Dwight Perry
"Some scientists said a universe where time moves backward is theoretically possible. So finally, some good news for Laker fans."  -- Conan O'Brien

"ESPN’S OTL reports that the NFL sent three top health and safety officers to challenge the NIH on their proposed study on football and brain disease, even though the league has denied involvement. “I am shocked” said nobody."  -- Janice Hough
" It's reported that referees at the New England-Kansas City NFL playoff game forgot some game balls back at their hotel. You know it's been a bad year for NFL officiating when officials are forgetting game balls and botching an overtime coin flip."  -- Brad Dickson
" Patriots coach Belichick is extremely Social Media challenged. He recently accused a reporter at a post game press conference of being on “Snapface”; and thinks that “Tweeter” is the name of that bird on The Bugs Bunny Show."  -- TC Chong

"Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson has endorsed Donald Trump. Maybe Iron Mike is hoping to one day have the president’s ear."  -- RJ Currie
"The largest prime number yet — 22,338,618 digits — was discovered when:

a) a computer at the University of Central Michigan spit it out. b) agent Scott Boras announced one of his clients’ next salary demand."  -- Dwight Perry

"St. Louis Rams defensive end William Hayes said he doesn’t believe dinosaurs are real. Then someone introduced him to Brett Favre."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

 


 

Fall From Grace

“Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?” sang Simon & Garfunkel in February of 1968, a year of innocence and chaos. “Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.”

In 2016 a yearning for an imaginary and idealized past found throughout American culture and American politics devolves into Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” hats, Sarah Palin incomprehensible endorsement rant and the vilifying of immigrants by every GOP presidential candidate.

“It does not seem likely that Palin (or any of the rest of the remaining ClownCar Occupants) has any clear idea who Joe DiMaggio was, or why he played an important symbolic role in a folk-rock hit released just before the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy. DiMaggio was born in California and played baseball in New York City, two places that from Palin’s point of view seem only marginally American.

“She might be perplexed to learn that the parents of this supposed American hero were immigrants who spoke little English and were classified as “enemy aliens” — potential terrorists, as we might say today — during World War II. They were prohibited from traveling more than five miles from home, and Giuseppe DiMaggio’s fishing boat was confiscated by the government.” - Andrew O’Hehir

That, at least, fits nicely with the xenophobic paranoia of Trump and the Mistress of the Wasilla Druken Barbecue Brawl.

- VK

ONLY 33 DAYS UNTIL...

...pitchers and catchers. Or as it is known in the Yankee camp, till the first starting pitcher goes down with an injury. The baseball writers keep talking about the potential health problems of the Yankee pitchers and the fact that they are relying on some very old veterans to carry the offense, yet they continue to peg the Yanks as a probable playoff team. Sure, they could perform close to their career numbers and propel the team into the post season, but I think there may be too many danger spots to get my hopes up too high.

A-Rod: He performed better than anyone could expect but he ran out of gas for the last month.
Teixeira: Was outstanding until he broke his leg. He's really become very fragile the last few years.
Beltran: He looked over the hill in the beginning of the season, but after he recovered from his physical ailments, he was very productive.
Sabathia: The Yanks seem to come up with some technical problem to explain his inability to perform, saying that after he corrected some problem, such as losing weight (didn't work) or adding a knee brace (which may work), he performed much better. Now he has to overcome an alcohol addiction.

There are other question marks:
Can Jacoby Ellsbury ever return to his all-star capability? Can they get 140 games out of him?
Is Brett Gardner capable of getting through a season without some nagging injury making him ineffective?
When does Masahiro Tanaka's elbow finally blow up?
How much time will Aroldis Chapman lose to suspension?
Will Chase Headley finally remember how to throw the ball to first?

Brian Cashman seems done with anymore roster changes, unless he has some block buster trade he's working on. I don't think there is. We'll talk more once we see what Spring Training begins.

The Kansas City Chiefs vs the Green Bay Packers - Super Bowl I
I watched the ESPN special about the first Superbowl game this morning after using the DVR feature. The first announcement said they had recreated the event eliminating timeouts, explanation of penalties, commercials and even the huddles. Wow, this could be good. Then I found out that this 60 minute game was actually a three-hour event. I knew what that meant: three guys sitting in a studio analyzing the hell out of each play. Boy, was I wrong. It was SEVEN guys plus a few former players commenting on the game. They didn't even talk about each play. They showed the tape on 2/3rds of  the screen, But we could hear the actual broadcast only occasionally while these guys talked over it, usually not even about the play that was being shown. And what earth-shattering information were they giving us? "How about those single bar face masks?" "There's the punter with his chin strap undone." We were told at least four times the Max McGee only caught four passes all year but ended up the star of this game.
ESPN did their part - they added a block containing the score and the down & distance. Thank you. Then there was this juicy tidbit: When the Packers scored to make the score 21-10, ESPN told us it was, "The FIRST time a team had a double-digit lead in Super Bowl history." Since this was the first Superbowl, how could it not have been the first?
The only former player who was at all entertaining was Packer Jerry Kramer. They should have let him moderate the whole game.

The Name Game: 
Trail, B.C., Smoke Eaters, Junior League Hockey

***THEY SAID IT***
"So the 49ers have hired Chip Kelly as their next coach. Well, with Oregon, Kelly does have experience dealing successfully with an amateur operation."  -- Janice Hough
"A 14-year-old has become the first person to ever solve a Rubik’s Cube in under 5 seconds. It took me 6 seconds to get my Rubik’s Cube out of the box."  -- Brad Dickson
"Michigan Wolverines’ Jake Butt was named College Football’s “Tight End of the Year”. No punchline needed."  -- TC Chong
" Rams owner Stan Kroenke disparaged his current locale in his bid to move the team to L.A.. If Kroenke were running for mayor of St. Louis against Satan, the polls would likely have the race as ‘too close to call.’"  -- Jack Finarelli
"A judge has ruled the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders are entitled to earn at least a minimum wage. Only seems fair since they have to wear minimum clothing"  -- RJ Currie
"Traffic already lining up to be late to L.A. Rams’ opening game."  -- TheOnion.com

"Q: What’s the difference between the disappearances of El Chapo and Johnny Manziel?  A: There’s no public clamor to find Manziel."  -- Dwight Perry

"Ronda Rousey is following up her SI Swimsuit photos from last year by posing only in body paint for this year’s edition. The paint will strategically cover her bruises from the Holly Holm fight."  -- TC Chong

" Johnny Manziel reportedly partied in Vegas wearing a blonde wig and fake moustache. Just like that he went from Johnny Football to Johnny Goofball."  -- RJ Currie

"The underwear New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady wore during his cameo in the movie Ted 2 is going up for auction next week. With bids starting at $2,500. The bidding process is expected to be brief."  -- Ian Hamilton

"Ken Griffey, Jr. was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. On his way to the podium, he pulled a hamstring and was placed on the disabled list."  -- Jerry Perisho
"There are plans for a “Baywatch” movie. It’ll just be nice to see people running in slow motion who aren’t the Philadelphia 76ers getting back on defense."  -- Brad Dickson
"Your mathematical odds of winning the Powerball were 1 in 292.2 million, only slightly worse if you didn’t buy a ticket. You are more likely to be struck by lightning — twice — while performing a handstand on a three-legged unicorn as it wins the Kentucky Derby."  -- Greg Cote

CP-

THE HALL OF ????

It's that time of year again when I reveal just how much of an old fuddy-duddy I am. It's the Baseball Hall Of Fame voting time. I honestly believe that the voters - or at least some media people - are turning the HOF into the "Hall of the Very-Good" or just "Good" or the "We-Just-Like-This-Guy."

The argument I really don't like is where they compare a candidate to someone who is in the HOF, that doesn't belong there either. The Hall should be a place for the really, really outstanding players. You want Alan Trammel in? Don't tell me his numbers are as good as Luis Aparicio. He doesn't belong there either. Compare his numbers to Rogers Hornsby. Does he match up well there? Nope. Jeff Kent? A lot closer with the numbers, but still not quite.

Fred McGriff is getting a lot of play. His numbers - Almost 2500 hits - Almost 500 home runs - Almost 1600 RBIs. Is he a HOFer? Well...almost. Lou Gehrig's numbers - 2720, 493 and 1995 in those same categories for a career shortened by a hideous disease.

So here is my opinion of each reasonable candidate:
Mike Piazza - Good numbers but not good enough   NO
Jeff Bagwell -   Same                                                NO
Tim Raines -    Same                                                NO
Curt Schilling - Afraid not, but at least his sock made it   MAYBE
Roger Clemens - No, unless we accept his "trainer," too  NO
Barry Bonds - No, even with his trainer.                    NO
Edgar Martinez - Great hitter, but baseball has two sides, offense and defense  NO
Lee Smith -  Absolutely. Why has this taken so long?    YES
Mike Mussina - Perhaps. if he had a bloody sock, too.   MAYBE
Jeff Kent - See above                                                NO
Fred McGriff -  See above                                         NO
Larry Walker -    "                                                     NO
Gary Sheffield -   "                                                     NO
Mark McGwire - We're not here to talk about the past.   NO
Sammy Sosa  -  "I don't understand the question."        NO
Ken Griffey - Do you need to ask?                                 YES
Trevor Hoffman - Only one reliever with better numbers  YES  
There are thirteen more candidates who won't have a big following, if any.

There you have it. 32 candidates, 3 positives, 2 maybes and the rest, sorry. Very good players, just not outstanding superstars. Certainly not as deserving as say, Bill Mazeroski.  No, wait....
I warned you that I was an old Fuddy-Duddy.

***THEY SAID IT***
"I wouldn’t say attendance at the Foster Farms Bowl was not good, but even Foster didn’t show up."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Warriors’ victory over the Hornets was their 35th straight win at home. That’s nine shy of the mark set by the Bulls; 209 short of the mark set by my wife."  -- RJ Currie

"Newborn baby panda Bei Bei immediately fell asleep upon being introduced to the media at Washington’s National Zoo in mid-December. In Bei Bei’s defense, though, there was a 76ers game on TV at the time."  -- Dwight Perry

"My New Year’s resolution for 2016 was to join a gym. My New Year’s resolution next year is to go to that gym."  -- James Corden, CBS

"Eight Ohio State Buckeyes so far are foregoing eligibility to declare early for the NFL draft. Knowing Urban Meyer and his players, have to wonder how many of them might have worn out the patience of the Columbus police?"  -- Janice Hough
"The Philadelphia Eagles fired coach Chip Kelly with one game left in the season. In a year filled with controversy, it’s not clear what made the Chip hit the fan."  -- RJ Currie
 "A Stanford lineman proposed to his girlfriend after his team’s 45-16 Rose Bowl win: “The way things went that day, she was dating an Iowa lineman when the game started."  -- Brad Dickson
" Circle the date for Jan. 23, when it’ll be IUPUI vs. IPFW. Just one question: Is that a basketball schedule or an eye chart?"  -- Dwight Perry

"Triple-Crown-winning rider Victor Espinoza called it “a sham” that SI’s Sportsperson of the Year is Serena Williams instead of American Pharaoh. Not a surprise a jockey has his horse’s back."  --   RJ Currie
"The Mariners acquired lefty pitcher Mike Kickham. I’d suspect their plan is to use Kickham when they’re down."  -- Larry Stone, Seattle Times.

"Mariners icon Ken Griffey Jr. is finally bound for Cooperstown. Just one question: Has a Hall of Fame plaque ever depicted a player with his cap on backwards?"  -- Dwight Perry

"A few hundred people left the Nebraska men’s basketball vs. Northwestern game early. To make it worse, eight of those people played for the Huskers."  -- Brad Dickson

"A report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie defended himself, saying, “Hey, both of those games went into overtime."  -- Conan O'Brien

 CP-