And Now for Something Completely Different...

The following public service announcement is a reminder to my golfing buddies that golf is an outside activity and that fall golf in the Finger Lakes is some of the best and most interesting golf of the year.

While many of my locals were aging in front of the television watching another undisciplined Rex Ryan football team drop to 3 - 3, they missed a beautiful day on the course.

If you haven’t been playing when the first sun-snow shower comes down you have missed one of the most inspirational scenes a golf course can provide. 

I played twenty holes today under a spectacular Finger Lakes sky, never waited behind slow players, didn’t contend with divots left open by total boneheads, played holes in any sequence

and was never cold, chilly or the least bit uncomfortable.

Here’s a news flash:  Dress for the Occasion, Dress for Success, Clothes Make the Man or Woman and there is a plethora of tech clothing that is perfect for the cold weather outdoor enthusiast - breathable and warm without bulk. 

Start with a polyester base layer, top and bottom. Slip on lined wind pants and you’re half way there.

Add an L.L. Bean microfiber fleece (Item # 284602), top it off with a vest (Item# 284604) and you’re good to 40 degrees. 

Comfortable hands are absolutely necessary. Leave your golf gloves home and don’t bother with FootJoy cold weather gloves. Pick up a pair or two of 180’s (Style # 23613) for a great grip and great comfort. Wear both the left and right and you’ll find you’ll make better shots with softer hands.

Add whatever headwear you like. I prefer a traditional cap and a fleece head band to cover my ears if it’s windy.

Yeah, shoes and socks are a good idea as well. 

Last year I was able to play comfortably through December 28, not every day, but when the temp hit 40 (sometimes a little less), I hit the course.

Pick up some low compression golf balls and take one club longer to compensate for the temperature. Maxfli Soft-Flis are inexpensive and a great performer. 

Or, in the alternative, quote the Holy Modal Rounders, “If you’re afraid, then you’d better stay home.”

Hey, they’re still playing baseball... and Joe Maddon is the Most Interesting Man in Baseball ( and possibly the most interesting man in the world).

- Z. Vod

A STRANGE POST SEASON

There have been some strange games this year. Home run hitters aren't hitting home runs, lights-out pitchers seem to fall apart all of a sudden and some players lose their ability to catch a baseball.
Oh, there are still the usual irritations: 
**Analysts who won't shut up
**Umpires whose strike zones make no sense
**Can we please get rid of those stupid strike zone cartoons. they're worse than the umpires.
**Batting statistics for the postseason have little value. A player who is 1 for 7 over two games is NOT in a slump. 
**Maybe I'm just old school, but poses and bat flips are for kids. You are professionals. Act like it.
**Joe Maddon, will you please shave. You look like you're second job is begging for change on the street.
**John Gibbons - is your face made of cement? You look the same whether you're mad, happy, confused or...constipated?

On the other hand, a real hero has developed that you wouldn't have predicted - the Met's Daniel Murphy.
The Cubs are being beaten by New York but the Blue Jays look awfully tight against the Royals. Josh Donaldson, who terrorized the American League, probably isn't even terrorizing his own batting practice pitcher. Joey Bats - isn't. but he is leading team in outwardly showing his disgust with all the umpires ability to call balls and strikes.

What is with these in-game interviews with the managers? Are they expecting something earth-shattering? One of them accidentally dropping an F-Bomb? At least that would make it worthwhile to listen. But the dribble they do produce could have been filmed before the playoffs started.
"Terry, Matt Harvey has only given up one hit so far. How pleased are you with that?" "Well Sam, we think he's pitching really well."  Two analysts in the booth have already told us that.
How about this instead:
"Joe you're team is being shut out. How are you going to fix that?" "Next inning, we're going to try calling the pitcher really bad names. If that doesn't work, I guess we'll just go home." What do you think of that answer, Fox Sports? 

Where's that mute button?
Ron Darling has an irritating voice. Cal Ripken sounds like he's never watched a game from the booth before. Harold Reynolds must be getting paid by the word. This is television. We can actually SEE what's going on. "That's strike three!" We know, we know.
The networks do have a plan to solve this, though. Starting Monday, Pete Rose, Frank Thomas, Raul Ibanez, Max Scherzer and - hold on to your hats - Alex Rodriquez will be added to the staff. 
What gems can these guys add?  Max: "I struck him out easily all year." Frank: "Why are they hitting with toothpicks?" A-Rod: "I make more money than him." Pete: "I'll give you 2-1 he strikes out this time."  More ex-jocks. What are they going to add? This is like forcing a boilermaker on a passed out drunk. I can hardly wait.



A topic on the Sports Reporters today was about what effect a manager has on a game. The simple answer: "I never ever won a game for my team.  I lost a few, but I never won one"  -- Earl Weaver   

***THEY SAID IT***
"The seventh inning of Game 5 between the Jays and Rangers lasted close to an hour. Or almost as long as the last three minutes of an NBA game."  -- RJ Currie
"As of right now, the Chicago Cubs are the favorite to win the World Series. The last time that sentence appeared in print, there was a blacksmith shop across from the stadium."  -- Brad Dickson
"Bevo XIV, a longhorn steer who was the University of Texas mascot, has died from bovine leukemia. But he still might be a part of a memorial BBQ in his honor."  -- Janice Hough
"Cubs, Mets admit it would be embarrassing to lose in the playoffs to Mets, Cubs."  -- SportsPickle.com

"In Pac-12 football play this season, the visiting team won 10 of the first 15 conference games. Veteran observers say they haven’t seen this much trauma at home since Elin discovered Tiger’s text messages"  -- Dwight Perry

" Playboy announced it will stop running nude photos next year. So now if you want to see a naked woman you’ll have to go to HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, the Internet, Burning Man, a PETA protest, perfume ads or ESPN The Magazine."  -- Seth Meyers

" A major league playoff game was delayed when Chase Utley took out three players, a mascot, a bullpen cart, a bat boy and most of the fans sitting down the third-base line with a hard slide."  -- Brad Dickson

"James Harden told NBA.com he’s the best player in the NBA and was last year’s true MVP. Is it possible for someone’s beard to be too tight?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-

  

Mets!

A Mets - Blue Jays World Series would be nice but, barring a Jays rally, increasingly improbable.

The Mets are one step closer with a big win in their series opener with the Cubs, giving Mets fans time to come up with something to do other than twirling shop rags in the stands when they get excited.

All of the derivatives of the Pittsburg “Terrible Towels” really must stop. It is just sad to see otherwise grown men waving dish towels in LA. Thankfully, the Dodgers were eliminated in five.

Blue Jays fans get a one time pass because, well, they are Canadians and, as they recently demonstrated, they don’t yet even understand the difference between throwing fedora and toques (specialized Canadian headwear) onto a hockey rink to celebrate hat tricks and chucking half-full beer cans, beaning babies in a ball park.

The Cubs have’t made it to a post-season in107 years so their fans clearly don’t have sufficient recent experience, say within the past five or six decades, to know how silly towel twirling looks unless your also screaming for your defense to rip a quarterback’s face off and mop up the field with your very own “Terrible Towel”.

As for the Royals, nothing that has happened in Missouri (or any place named Kansas for that matter) has made any sense since before the Civil War.

But, c’mon Mets, orange shop rags? You're in New York, ’The Big Apple’. You can do so much better.

 - Z. Vod

NOW IT GETS SERIOUS

The championship games begin tonight in Kansas City, the Royals hosting the Blue Jays. I guess this is as it should be: the two teams with the best records in the AL. Toronto has that powerful lineup but it appears they also have karma on their side - and it is said, "Karma's a bitch."
I read a headline today that said, DODGERS FALL APART. Fall apart? 3-2 is hardly falling apart. If that's what you're looking for, I give you the Texas Rangers. Actually, it was all one man - Elvis Andrus. The poor guy, who is a very good fielder by the way, blew three straight plays, and even though no runs had scored yet, you knew it was all over. Later, Jose Bautista flung his bat almost to the shores of Lake Ontario and that was that. I don't think the Rangers will forget that.
KC beat a team that was in over it's head but didn't know it. Royals are good and the defending AL champs but I think Toronto will be the one advancing.

In the NL, the Cubbies continue their magical journey by stunning the Cardinals, so if there is a Cinderella team in the championship series, it has to be the Cubs. The underdog Mets shocked the Dodgers but they will be the favorites only in the New York area. The Cubs own the rest of the country. NY has that awesome pitching staff but right now, nothing scares Chicago. It'll be close, but I'm rooting for the Cubs.

My lovely sister-in-law in California wrote today that she's experiencing "playoff relief." Me, too. Once the Yanks were put out of their misery, I felt that the weight was off my back and now I could just enjoy baseball.  There is talk that Dodger front office is unhappy that the team hasn't fulfilled it's expected destiny - a World Championship. I think the owners are beginning to realize that a $300 million payroll does not buy the title.  It took the Yankees a long time to come to that realization and the Red Sox, a little quicker. So where do the Dodgers go from here? A lot of people think that Dan Mattingly will be the first to go. That little episode in the dugout with Andre Ethier probably didn't help either. Strangely, I can't find out anything about that screaming match, other than Mattingly saying it was nothing (of course). In NY, the tabloids would have published a word-for-word, blow-by-blow account of the incident. But LA is a little more laid back.

Early in one of the Games in Los Angeles, an announcers said he never heard a crowd this quiet. This is LA. the crowd doesn't even show up until the third inning.

Brad Dickson's Bottom Ten
 4. UCF (0-6): The Knights lost to Connecticut in a “rivalry game.” I think the winner got a trophy reading “WHY?”
 8. Fresno State (1-5): Fresno State’s idea of a balanced offense — an equal number of fumbles and interceptions.
 9. Idaho (1-4): The Vandals are coming off a bye week. I’m pretty sure it was homecoming.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Eagles coach Chip Kelly said today he is not a candidate for the head coaching jobs at USC and Texas. Well, makes sense, he’s got a perfectly good job coaching an amateur team now."  -- Janice Hough
"Eli Manning has played behind nine centers. I believe this makes him a certified proctologist."  -- Brad Dickson
"A  fire destroyed 20 books at the Auburn University library: “The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet."  -- Steve Spurrier
"If the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ secondary — after getting torched for four TD passes by the Jags’ Blake Bortles on Sunday — is looking for a theme song for player introductions, here’s a suggestion: “Stand By Your Man."  -- Dwight Perry
"I hear new coach Dan Campbell made the Dolphins do “Oklahoma drills” in practice. Oklahoma drills are tough: it took me days to nail the lyrics to Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’."  -- RJ Currie
"So if  Chase Utley‬ retires in the offseason do they suspend him for his first two old-timers games?"  -- Janice Hough
"The Fernando Rodney story: When he was born, his parents put a cap on their little bundle of joy. The doctor slapped him, but only his head moved, not the cap."  -- Tony Chong (From TC Ripley.)
"Playboy magazine announced it’s no longer going to feature nudes. This is like Popular Mechanics announcing that it’s no longer going to feature socket wrenches."  -- Brad Dickson

 CP-

It's Football Season (isn't it always?)

Relax. This is not another dump on the NFL and the legions of crazed and increasingly gambling addicted fans marching in the parade of Sunday afternoon football, Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Football, Thursday Night Football and 24-7-365 Fantasy (aka gambling) football. All have richly earned all that has been dumped on them to date and, here’s some news, it’s only going to get worse.

I once knew what football was about. Every fall we played sandlot football for hours at Oak Hill Park. Lakeside kids played at Fort Ontario and other neighborhood kids played in school yards all over the city. Some games were touch, others were tackle depending on our numbers, the more the better.

The one constant was no adults; no adult coaches, no adult referees, no adult spectators (Adults hanging around playgrounds? Bad news.), no helicopter parents, no benefactors providing uniforms, turf fields or travel teams. We picked our own teams, made up our own rules and settled our own disputes.

High school varsity games were on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons. We’d go to watch the ‘big kids’ play, horse around and dream about playing freshman football on stripped fields.

Some kids had helmets, fewer had shoulder pads. No under armor base layers; no light weight, impact resistance body armor, form hugging pants and jerseys, perfectly sized helmets with a wide variety of face guards, mouth guards, windshields - now beginning in elementary school. Not all of our gang had sneaks.

Playing professional football in the NFL, was a seasonal job and the league was not yet a tax exempt religion with services on Sunday afternoon, the NFL Sabbath, and follow up services Sunday evening and several weeknights for the truly faithful.

The NY Giants played  in Yankee Stadium and Jim Brown averaged over 100 yards per game rushing (still the lone player to achieve that feat) over his nine year career and retiring while still healthy (one of the few to achieve that feat). 

While it’s true that the Eagles Chuck Bednarek cracked Frank Giffords skull on a huge hit, the injury was most remarkable for its rarity. Players were neither big enough, strong enough or fast enough to deliver a steady stream of disabling blows.

In 1962 Julie London, dressed in a black sheath, plugging Marlboro’s during broadcasts of Giants - Browns battles was the sexiest thing on television. 

No more. That NFL no longer exists. 

The ‘game’ no longer exists. 

Big business, driven by big money has replaced the ‘game’. The NFL is an engine that drives television commercials and gambling. Cheerleaders show more cleavage and but crack than Victoria’s Secret catalogs and Plumbers Union Local 2877. Team loyalty is eroding. Owners have none for the cities they play in and fans increasingly care more about their fantasy teams. 

Yeah, I know, you’ve got to go. It’s time for a kickoff. Somewhere it’s always time for a kickoff.

 - Z. Vod

ONE AND DONE

Well, it was quick and painless. NY probably wasn't going to go past the next round anyway, so it was good to get it over with fast.  Not so for the Pirates, who had a more than decent chance to go all the way.
As always in a short series, it's better to be the hot team than the better team.

You can learn a lot by watching.  -- Yogi Berra 
It's Deja Vu all over again.  -- Yogi Berra

Two 'Yogi-isms' that fit well here.

Chase Utley takes out Miguel Tejada on a tough slide, breaking up the double play. This happens all the time and occasionally, someone gets hurt. David Schoenfield, ESPN, usually takes the controversial side in any discussion so that he can appear to be relevant.  He just comes off as not understanding the game. If you listen to the former players, now analysts for ESPN, you'll get the real understanding of the play. It was completely legal. That Tejada got hurt is unfortunate but not unusual. If the pivot man gets hurt on this play, he probably didn't handle the play properly. In this case he didn't. He has to know the runner is bearing down on him, he's facing him. Instead of catching the ball and making the throw quickly, he tried a fancy pivot on the same side of the bag that the runner was heading for. Utley was very close to the bag, did not go in spikes up and slid into the fielder.
The fielder has options, too. He can come down on the runner with his spikes (not intentionally, of course), he can throw the ball right at the runner (again, not intentionally) and he can learn how to avoid the contact. Tejada didn't do any of these things. It only becomes a "dirty" play if someone gets hurt.

Actually, nothing was good about this play: 
1) The runner was called out initially.
2) After review, they called the runner safe because Tejada did not touch the bag.
3) Watching a replay turned up the fact that Utley never touched the bag either and ran off the field after the play ended.
The replay system has made nitpickers of everybody.  Without it, nobody would have known that Tejada just missed the bag. In the old days (there, I've said it), this would have been the old "neighborhood play" and Tejada would probably not have tried so hard to touch the bag.
Here's the other problem. Why was Utley brought back out to the base? Sure, the fielder never touched the bag, but neither did Utley. The other part is, that safe or out, if a runner leaves the field HE IS OUT. Automatically.
Maybe we should eliminate replays completely - or just limit it to fair or foul and home run or not.  Lets go back to the fallible umpires. If you watch them call balls and strikes, you know they're fallible.

Joe Girardi says he made the best decisions he could all year. He thinks the Yanks can win it all next year with the same team he has now. INSANITY: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Hey Joe, I understand the George Washington Bridge is for sale.

Now this is a good story.  Because of the severe flooding in South Carolina, the Gamecocks moved their football game against LSU to Baton Rouge. LSU turned over the income from tickets and concessions to South Carolina. In addition, since S. Carolina band couldn't make the trip, the LSU band learned Carolina's Alma Mater and fight song and played them both during the game. Way to go, LSU.
(From Janice Hough's column)

***THEY SAID IT***
"Nebraska leads the nation in penalties. Saturday, there were two flags thrown during the Tunnel Walk."  -- Brad Dickson

"Eagles RB DeMarco Murray — who’s rushed for 47 yards on 29 carries this season — says he’s not getting the ball enough. At his current rate of 1.6 per, Murray would need 62 carries for a 100-yard game and seven carries just to get a first down."  -- Dwight Perry

" According to the crew on TSN, “everyone in Canada” has Blue Jays fever. Which prompted my wife to ask: “Who are the Blue Jays?”  -- RJ Currie

"It’s only the first week of the postseason, and I am so over playoff beards."  -- Janice Hough
"The goal for the new Werner Park party patio is to make fans feel as if they’re in their own backyard. In my case, that will require letting the infield grass grow two feet and planting a thousand dandelions."  -- Brad Dickson
"The late Yogi Berra, as quoted in SI.com, when Kirby Puckett landed a record $3 million-a-year contract in 1990: “If Branch Rickey was alive today, he’d roll over in his grave."  -- In Dwight Perry's Column
"Browns coach Mike Pettine said his squad “looked like a scout team” in a 27-20 loss to the Raiders: “Girl or Cub?”  -- Reader Chas K (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

"I have a few tickets left for the game Sunday,” tweeted owner Jed York of the bedraggled 49ers. “Let me know if you can make it. Tweeted  in response: “I can’t give my tickets away either, Jed.”  -- Jake Echanove, 49ers fan

"London-born British chancellor George Osborne said he hopes to have an NFL team in his city within the next five years. “Me too,” said the mayor of Cleveland"  -- RJ Currie

"The Nobel Peace Prize has just been awarded. In a mild upset it went to the Washington Nationals pitching coach who broke up a dugout fight."  -- Brad Dickson

" NFL refs to wear No. 12 at all Seahawks home games.”  -- TC Chong

"Singer Justin Bieber drew the ire of UFC star Ronda Rousey by refusing to pose for a picture with her little sister: “Bieber’s funeral is tomorrow.”  -- Conan O'Brien

CP-

 

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

This is it: the final 10 teams. I won't post any odds on the teams because that's more a function of
betting than the actual strength of the teams. Remember, any professional team, regardless of it's regular season record, can get hot and ride that streak for the next 4 weeks.
Here are my thoughts on the possibilities of each team to win it all, from most likely to "how-did-they-get-in?"

1) St Louis Cardinals - Injuries don't bother them, slumps don't bother them, hot teams don't scare them, somehow they always seem to be there.
2) Toronto Blue Jays  - They got hot, stayed hot and they have the scariest lineup in the postseason
3) New York Mets  - The best pitching of the ten. The rule is: "Good Pitching Stops Good Hitting" A NY/Toronto series would be verrrry interesting.
4) Pittsburgh Pirates  - Gritty team, very gritty. They don't seem to know when they're beaten.
5) Kansas City Royals  - A talented group but they won't surprise anyone this year. Their young players will find out how hard it is to repeat success.
6) Chicago Cubs  - The Cinderella team of the year. Joe Madden may still have some tricks up his sleeve. It wouldn't surprise me if he brought Steve Bartman into the clubhouse. No shock if they were to win it all.
7) Los Angeles Dodgers  - They should be higher, but this team underachieves every year. They are very talented but Don Mattingly doesn't seem to know how to use it.
8) Texas Rangers  - They ended strong, but they're a flawed team.
9) New York Yankees  - If they hit, they will beat up a lot of teams...but they won't hit. They should be #10 but, I'm a Yankee fan
10) Houston Astros  - A young unknown team. I don't think they even know how they got here. The plan was for them to make a move next year, but here they are. With Keuchel pitching, they will probably advance at least to the next round.

Everybody has their favorites and their own idea of the results, and these are mine. If I was smart enough to really know how this would turn out, I wouldn't be writing this blog; I'd be sitting in an easy chair in a Vegas casino, eating open-faced prime rib sandwiches and drinking scotch. How's that sound, Fran?

Brad Dickson's Bottom Ten
4. UCF (0-5): At halftime, the Knights’ marching band spelled out “Enough Already!”
8. Miami (Ohio) (1-4): Miami lost to Kent State in a game that you’re not allowed to show POWs according to the Geneva Conventions.
10. Texas State (1-3): Pessimistic fans have been spotted waving signs reading: “Just wait till the year after next year or maybe the one after that.”

Too bad about CC Sabathia. He wasn't going to be the #1 vital cog in the postseason for the Yanks, but he always gave everything he had every time he went out there. We wish him luck.

***THEY SAID IT***
"What’s the big deal about pitcher Jonathan Papelbon trying to wring teammate Bryce Harper’s neck? The Nationals have spent the last three years choking"  -- RJ Currie
"Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia has checked himself into alcohol rehab. Shocking. Not that an athlete goes to rehab, but he does it without being arrested first."  -- Janice Hough
"After only four games, the Miami Dolphins have axed head coach Bill Philbin. I guess Philbin now sleeps with the fishes"  -- Marc Ragovin
"Jonathan Papelbon arrested after strangling man with 17 grocery items in ‘15 items or less’ line."  -- SportsPickle.com
"Grateful Dead fans are petitioning the NFL for the group to perform at halftime of the Super Bowl. This is a terrific idea, if you don’t mind a 7-hour halftime show.This would allow me to realize my longtime dream of witnessing a Super Bowl second half where everyone is playing with a contact high."  -- Brad Dickson

"That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon."  -- golf commentator David Feherty
"The Hot New Thing every quarterback has to have: eye discipline. How do QBs develop that? I don’t know. Take their wives to the beach?"  -- Scott Ostler

"Orlando’s Basement bar is offering free beer until Central Florida’s 0-4 football team wins a game.

Coincidence? The Knights’ top-selling jersey has the number .08 on it."  -- Dwight Perry

" Pete Rose met with MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred on Monday. Neither party would reveal what was discussed, but an unnamed source claims that they both agreed that the Toronto Blue Jays would be 3-2 favorites to win The World Series."  -- TC Chong

"Reuters reports mathematicians used a unique formula to prove a 17th-century emperor fathered 888 children in just 30 years. He also excelled at basketball."  -- RJ Currie

"The Aksarben Rodeo was just held in Omaha. The World-Herald assigned its rodeo expert. Our “rodeo expert” is a guy who once rode a mechanical bull in a Dallas nightclub after two vodka gimlets."  -- Brad Dickson

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WHO'S AT FAULT HERE?

"You have to go to other people's funerals otherwise they won't come to yours."  -- Yogi Berra 
 
I'm sure we've all listened to or read about the Papelbon-Harper confrontation and everybody is weighing in on it. The arguments for each are compelling but not foolproof.

Bryce Harper has always been lax in running out easy ground balls or lazy fly balls. That's just in his nature (wink-wink). So if he's always been doing it it's okay, right? Sorry, it's not. How about this one: why risk running hard on a sure out and risk pulling a hamstring or turning an ankle. If someone were to use this argument with me, I would ask him to please step outside while the grown-ups were talking. If you don't want to take a chance on getting hurt, don't play the game. You're being paid millions of dollars (that's millions, sir) to play a game. Play as hard as you can.

Jonathon Papelbon is certainly no saint in all this. This is a guy who hit batters for no discernible reason, made an obscene gesture to fans who were riding him and has noticeably quit on the mound when things didn't go his way. So who was he to be telling anyone to "play the game right?" Well, the message was right even if the messenger isn't.

The real culprit here is the National's manager, Matt Williams. He has never been able to get through to Harper that his actions are not displaying the attitude you need to play the game honestly: to try as hard as you can in all situations and to respect the game and all the players who do give a full effort. Harper should have been fined or benched EVERY time he gave up on a play. If that was Williams attitude, I'm sure some of the veteran players on the team would have stepped up before. I'm sure if Dan Uggla or Ryan Zimmerman had confronted Harper, the press would not have taken Harper's side in this. And choking wouldn't have been necessary.

Brad Dickson's Bottom Ten:
 4. New Mexico State (0-3): The Aggies use the bye week to practice their turnovers.
 7. Idaho (1-3): It’s never a good sign when your pep squad takes the field waving white surrender flags.
9. SMU (1-3): The Mustangs lost to James Madison 48-45. You think that’s bad, the team would be one-point underdogs to Dolly Madison.

I think everyone, including the Yankees, know they are not going to overtake the blue Jays for the AL East title. Again, the Yanks fail to hit and they lost. They need home runs and with Teixeira out for the season, McCann on the bench and A-Rod showing his age, where will the power come from?  This could be a very short post season for NY if the power hitters don't show up.

The real race is between Houston the Angels Texas and even Minnesota for the last two spots. Houston finishes the season against Arizona, while the Angels fate appears to be in their own hands with the last four games of the season being against Texas. That should be some series.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Who knew that Papelbon-Harper would turn out to be far more riveting than Mayweather-Pacquiao?"  -- Janice Hough
"The Arizona Diamondbacks named a corn dog after Randy Johnson. The way baseball concession fare goes, the corn dog is 6 feet, 10 inches long."  -- Brad Dickson
" The Atlanta Hawks launched an Ashley Madison promotion to sell ticket packages. Presumably for games broadcast in high definition but low fidelity."  -- RJ Currie
"The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus agreed to phase out the elephants in their shows next year. “If it were only that easy,” said the Red Sox, referring to Pablo Sandoval."  -- Dwight Perry
"Just returned from Yankee Stadium where I paid $22 for two Bud Lights and ‘commemorative cups.’ I know why they’re commemorative, because I’ll never forget that I paid $22 for two Bud Lights."  -- Yankee fan Frank Vignuli
"Gotta love those stats. A’s reliever Drew Pomeranz allowed three hits and two earned runs in two-thirds of an inning Saturday. It was his 12th hold."  -- Phil Mushnick
" Bad news for the New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees will miss Sunday’s game. Good news for the Chicago Bears -  ‪ so will Jay Cutler."  -- Janice Hough
"During the pregame show before the Rams-Steelers game, fireworks caught the turf on fire. That almost sounds entertaining. I mean, if I had to choose between another Bruno Mars Super Bowl halftime show or a burning field, I'm voting for B."  -- Brad Dickson
" An extra point try in a Texas high-school football game caromed off a referee’s head and through the uprights. Who was the ref, Jose Canseco?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-

STILL HANGIN' ON

"Better cut that pizza into four slices. I don't think I can eat six"  -- Yogi Berra   

The Yanks won yesterday without really hitting. Headley hit a long double into left center to drive in one run, and A-Rod hit a hard grounder which Mike Olt (Is his last name missing a letter?) failed to catch at third for the second run. That's it except for five other harmless singles.  That's the Yankee's current offense. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if they hit, they win, because the pitching has been pretty good.
How did John Danks allow A-Rod to steal second yesterday? A-Rod is not the slowest man on the team, that title probably belongs to McCann now that Teixeira is running on one leg (It's hard to tell, isn't it?). I think four steals is a bigger deal for him than the 32 homers he's hit.
The word is that Girardi will be playing a lot of his rookies the next few games, first, to see what they've got, but also to rest some of the regulars. Now if they would only put a block on his telephone line to the bullpen, the Yanks ought to be in decent shape for the playoffs.

I see my favorite whipping boy Joe West is at if again. He had a big stare down with Madison Baumgartner the other day. The only purpose had to be Joe showing everybody that HE is the most important person on the field. This kind of childish behavior will continue until MLB steps in and starts suspending him or fining him or both.

The AL Wild card race is a doozy with the Angels, Astros and the Twins all in the mix. I have to think that the Angels have the best shot because of the experienced players they have.

Headline on ESPN the other day: Red Sox to Evaluate Sandoval. I can only assume they'll start with his weight which is a perennial problem with the Big Panda. The Red Sox offseason pickups, Sandoval, Ramirez and Porcello haven't worked out the way the Sox hoped.

In the NL, it's been a long time since we've had a New York-Los Angeles post-season series. Both teams have great pitching, but right now, the Mets are hitting better than the Dodgers.

It's possible that we could have two Los Angeles teams and two New York teams in the playoffs, and network executives are salivating. When the Dodgers play, I hope, I pray, that the networks use Vin Scully in the broadcast booth. Knowing the lack of baseball acumen of those bigwigs, this may be a long shot.

There are always surprises in the season, but the biggest has to be the demise of the Washington Nationals. They had great pitching, great hitters and great potential, but it turns out all they ended out with is great disappointment.

Joe Juranitch, the Viking who rides the motorcycle in a viking costume at the games won't be returning after demanding a raise from his current salary of $1500/game to - get this - $20,000. Who does he think he is? A player? An owner? Joe West?

***THEY SAID IT***
"A 105-year-old man from Japan has set an age group record in the 100-meter dash — 42 seconds. If it turns out PEDs were involved, I officially give up.Just the fact he got out of the starting blocks is impressive."  -- Brad Dickson

"Army has a wideout named Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if he will get drafted by the Baltimore Ravens."  -- Jack Finarelli

"TCU defensive end Mike Tuaua and backup wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested in Fort Worth on suspicion of accosting a fellow student and stealing his case of Keystone Light. They face charges of robbery, bodily injury and questionable taste in beer."  -- Dwight Perry

"I am a bit concerned about some areas of the Nebraska team. For example, I’m pretty sure Abe Vigoda could get open on the Husker pass defense."  -- Brad Dickson

"Lucien Favre, coach of Germany’s winless Borussia Moenchengladbach soccer team, resigned just five games into the Bundesliga season. In other words, faster than you can say “Borussia Moenchengladbach.”  -- Dwight Perry

"Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking. Out of habit, Roger Goodell fined him.”  -- Janice Hough

" MMA fighter Monique Bastos held a would-be robber in a triangle headlock awaiting police for 15 minutes. Or about 14 minutes longer than a Ronda Rousey match."  -- RJ Currie

"A woman gave birth at San Diego’s Petco Park during last Thursday’s Giants-Padres game. No word on whether the pitching coaches helped her with her delivery."  -- Dwight Perry

" New Milwaukee Brewers backup catcher Nevin Ashley has a wife named Ashley who took his name. That’s true love when a woman agrees to being Ashley Ashley."  -- Brad Dickson

"Broadcaster Mike Tirico reported that Jets coach Todd Bowles, who played DB for Washington, represents “the first time the Jets have had a former NFL player as their head coach.” In the world that existed B.E. — before ESPN — Jets head coaches Walt Michaels, Joe Walton, Rich Kotite and Bruce Coslet combined to play in more than 400 NFL games."  -- Phil Mushnick.

 

If  RJ has the guts to publish this, the least I can do is repeat it:
"Yesterday my wife tried a new spot remover. Today we can’t find our dog."  -- RJ Currie

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RIP, YOGI

FULL PANIC MODE

I don't see how you can win a World Series when you only have two guys in the bullpen. Yes, yes, I know there are 13 bodies out there but Girardi only trusts two of them - Betances and Miller. He doesn't trust his starters either, except for Masahiro Tanaka.
Yesterday, with a 5-0 lead in the sixth inning, he  pulled an extremely effective Michael Pineda after Pineda gave up two straight hits. Why? Well, according to Girardi, He didn't like the way Pineda looked facing Daniel Murphy. Up to that point, Murphy had hit a harmless grounder to third and a weak grounder to second (actually Gregorious in a shift position) but Didi failed to make a good throw. The hometown scorer called it a hit, but it really wasn't. So here comes Caleb Cotham, a rookie. One of the major problems with bringing in relievers, you never know if they're on their game or not. Cotham wasn't perfect . He walked the first man he faced and Pineda did not look pleased in the dugout.Meantime, I'm discussing Girardi's parentage from my chair.
Then Girardi felt the need to bring Betances in with that same 5-run lead to pitch the eighth. In the ninth, it was Pazos for one hitter, that he retired, then came Martin, who got the next batter and then gave up piddly little infield hits. Girardi all but vaulted the dugout fence and ran out to the mound to get Miller in there to get the last out. He couldn't wait for one more hitter? Sure, the game was important, but the ones in October will be more so and the Yankee bullpen will be exhausted. Even the Fox announcers thought it was a terrible move and they aren't the sharpest pencils in the box.
Girardi is managing like all he cares about is his job. He's overworking everyone out there. If the bullpen blows leads in the playoffs, Girardi shouldn't have a job next year - unless he's willing to work the beer concession. I'll need the beer now.

Assuming the Yankees have one Wild Card spot sewed up, there is a hell of a fight going on for the second spot.  The Astros, Angels and the Twins are all within two and a half games. The Astros have three games left against the Angels, while the Twins have six games left against the dangerous Indians. Should be fun.

The Sports Reporters, Israel Gutierrez, Bob Ryan and Mike Lupica, think the Dodgers may have a tough time in the playoffs. In spite of the fact that they have the highest payroll in baseball (approx. $300 million), there are four teams in the NL that may be stronger. Three Central Division teams all have better records, and the way the Mets are hitting, they pose a real threat. LA has two great pitchers, Greinke and Kershaw, but their offense has disappeared. As Bob Ryan says, "You have to wonder where all that money went." But, they still have to play the game. As Charley Brown said to Lucy, "Tell your statistics to shut up!"

This time of the year, things get a little testy when the contenders play each other. You hit my guy, I'll hit two of yours. The Cardinals are noted for doing this, but now the Cubs have Joe Madden who wouldn't back down from Ghengis Kahn and his horde. He's vowed to go all out against St. Louis, stealing bases even with a big lead,  bunting against shifts and going after any pitcher who hits his batters. He's even growing a beard to make himself look more fierce. Unfortunately, because it's white, he just looks old and homeless. 

Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul has admitted that he also injured his middle finger during that firecracker accident. This assures that he'll never play in Philadelphia.  

***THEY SAID IT***
"Last week, Oklahoma’s Hatari Byrd gave the finger to the Tennessee crowd. It was a headline writer’s dream to put down on paper: “Byrd Flips Bird."  -- Brad Dickson

"Las Vegas bookmakers told ESPN that Americans will bet $95 billion on NFL games this year.

“Give you 2-to-1 they won’t,” said Pete Rose."  -- Dwight Perry

"Reuters reports U.S. scientists have designed an “invisibility cloak” and have had success making things disappear. Who have they been testing it on, the Nationals?"  -- RJ Currie

"Headline you didn’t expect to see- “Ohio State holds off Northern Illinois, 20-13.” Sounds like the Buckeyes’ players took this game about as seriously as they take their classes."  -- Janice Hough
"A skydiver uploaded a video of himself yesterday jumping out of a plane and solving a Rubik’s cube during free fall. And to prove that he actually solved it, the funeral was open casket."  -- Seth Meyers
"In a Pennsylvania high school football game, it was Meadville 107, DuBois 90. Students were getting Advanced Placement Mathematics credit for adding up the score."  -- Brad Dickson
"It’s possible for one player to cover Pats TE Rob Gronkowski but  he’d have to look like King Kong."  -- Bills coach Rex Ryan
"NFL week 2 injury report for the New York Giants: QB Eli Manning, brain cramp - possible."  -- TC Chong
" Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking. Out of habit Roger Goodell fined him."  -- Janice Hough

"In honor of the DeflateGate Patriots playing in Buffalo on Sunday, the Bills’ merchandise shop at Ralph Wilson Stadium has a special kiosk of air pumps for sale. So what’ll they do the next time the Giants come to town — put up a fireworks stand?"  -- Dwight Perry

"South Park” featured a Deflategate dream sequence with an animated Bill Belichick. This is the first time “Belichick” and “animated” have appeared in the same sentence."  -- Brad Dickson

" Satellite-based imaging shows the retreating Jakobshavn glacier in Greenland moves at a speed of 12 feet per hour. Or slightly faster than David Ortiz."  -- RJ Currie

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RIGHT QUESTION - EASY ANSWERS

At the beginning of the season, the Yanks' biggest question mark was the health of their starters. Good question, but even the experts couldn't predict how right they were. Here's a list of the starters who went on the DL this season:
Masahiro Tanaka - 27 yrs old

Nate Eovaldi  - 25
Michael Pineda  - 26
Chase Whitley  - 26
Ivan Nova  - 28
CC Sabathia  - 35
Bryan Mitchell   - 24
Chris Capuano  - 37
 That's all the starters except Adam Warren (now in the bullpen) and rookie Luis Severino.
Plus relievers Diego Moreno, Chris Martin, Sergio Santos and Andrew Miller. That's twelve total pitchers in one season.  Apparently, the Yankee pitching staff is the most dangerous place in baseball. And there's still 3 weeks to go.
When you look at the list, age doesn't seem to be the issue. Sabathia and Capuano are the only ones over 30. Why is this happening? They all seemed to be babied and that hasn't helped. So either the Yanks have the best diagnostic medical staff in baseball or their strength and conditioning people aren't very good. Maybe it's the pitching coach, Larry Rothschild. When the broadcasting crew mentions his name, it's usually followed by the statement, "...one of the most respected pitching coaches in baseball." They never say "...most knowledgeable." Why is that?

This years UPS Traveling Award goes to Chris Capuano who has been brought up and sent down to Scranton 5 times this year, Apparently he just leaves a full set of clothes in the New York and Scranton clubhouses, so moving is a lot easier. It's a good thing they don't make him drive back and forth. A couple of times, he would have had to make a U-turn on the George Washington bridge.

Terrible series with Toronto. Yankee pitchers gave up 30 runs, 44 hits and 10 home runs in the 4-game series. Not only were Yankee fans unhappy, the NY pitchers weren't too thrilled either. When Girardi came out to change pitchers, a couple of them met him at the foul line. "I left the ball on the mound, Joe." By Saturday night, the Yankee pennant on the top of the stadium was a white flag.

And yet, there's still a pulse. 3 1/2 games out, but there are 20 games left, three of them with the Blue Jays. Stranger things have happened. Well, maybe not this strange.


Grass-fed beef, American cheese, bacon, kielbasa, crab dip, onion rings, a pretzel and buffalo chicken wings.It's called "The Tailgater Burger" being sold at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore. Cost: $18

Brad Dickson's Bottom 10
 4. Idaho (0-2): The Vandals make an early-season statement in the 59-9 drubbing by USC. And that statement is: “We stink.”
 7. UTSA (0-2): The Roadrunners fell 30-3 to Kansas State. The loss was only partially attributable to Texas San Antonio being distracted by the potential of the Wildcat marching band forming something really dirty.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Seven major league pitchers named “Jim” have thrown no-hitters since 1960. You know the problem with baseball? Just not enough stats."  -- Brad Dickson
"CoCo Vandeweghe pounding her racquet to smithereens at the U.S. Open has gone viral. She lost the match, but she’s a smash hit"  -- RJ Currie
"Some advice that shoot-from-the-lip Curt Schilling might be wise to heed: Stick a bloody sock in it."  -- Dwight Perry
"Steelers coach Mike Tomlin complained that his communication headset picked up the Patriots’ radio broadcast instead of his coaches in the press box. Apparently he didn’t hear them mention that somebody should cover Rob Gronkowski."  -- Todd Dewey
" Bryce Harper ripped Nationals fans for leaving games early. He better hope he never gets traded to the Dodgers."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"Against Ohio State, Hawaii wore throwback Rainbow uniforms. Hawaii could have worn uniforms with jet packs and would’ve still lost to the Buckeyes."  -- Brad Dickson

"US Weekly reports Gisele Bundchen has consulted a divorce lawyer and might be leaving Tom Brady. Losing Gisele Bundchen? Now that’s deflating!"  -- RJ Currie
"There were chants of USA! USA! USA! during game one of the Yankee-Blue Jays doubleheader at Yankee Stadium. Maybe Toronto’s sweep was karma’s way of saying “Stay classy, New York.”  -- Janice Hough
"The “Aggie Dog,” a 4-foot, 12-pound frank being sold at Kyle Field concessions stands this season. It’s the biggest hot dog at Texas A&M since Johnny Manziel."  -- Ian Hamilton
"RG3 expected to be healthy enough to get hurt Week 1."  -- Headline at Sportspickle.com
"A new study claims a midday nap can lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart attack. Coincidence? The Browns versus the Jets was given a 1:00 start."  -- RJ Currie
"In the first quarter of the Pittsburgh Steelers-New England Patriots game, Steelers coaches headsets did not work. I'm trying to confirm all they heard was Bill Belichick's voice going: "You're getting sleepy. Very sleepy."  -- Brad Dickson
"The Patriots have an alibi. At the time the headsets began acting up, they were busy letting the air out of the Pittsburgh team bus tires."  -- Brad Dickson

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WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

I'm confused. If you go to the ballpark, you will hear vendors call out, "You can't tell the ballplayers without a scorecard. Here are some cases where a scorecard would really help - except I can't find one, even on e-bay.

Roger Goodell says he is the Commissioner of the NFL (The No Fun League). Under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, Goodell thinks he has the right to apply whatever discipline he wants to any situation against either a player, coach, team or owner for any violation regardless of the crime. That's a pretty big sword to hand to any one person. The courts have now decided that that's not true. Goodell still thinks he is king of the hill, the players see a crack in the armor and the owners just want to know how much will this cost. So I ask again, "Who's In Charge Here?"

Mets pitcher Matt Harvey is coming off TJ surgery and has thrown 165 innings so far this year. His doctor has [decreed - suggested - guessed] that 180 innings should be the limit this year. The Mets General Manager, Sandy Alderson, says there is no such limit and THEY will decide how long he will pitch. Matt Harvey has been silent so far. His agent, Scott Boras (pause, while everyone genuflects), says 180 is THE limit, end of discussion. Manager Terry Collins says Harvey's arm will tell us when to shut him down. Two years ago, the Washington Nationals, with a solid chance to make the playoffs,  shut down their ace pitcher, Stephen Strasburg, after 183 innings. Washington missed the playoffs. If the Mets are going to go deep in the playoffs, they are going to need their ace. So...W I C H?

Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira is out for who knows how long. The only regular firstbaseman left on the roster is rookie Greg Bird. If they want to give him a night off, who replaces him? Well there are a lot of options, none of them very good. Manager Joe Girardi says he would put A-Rod there in a pinch. GM Brian Cashman says no way. A-Rod says nobody has said anything to him. Girardi has repeated his opinion and so has Cashman. Teixeira better heal up soon, because the Yankees obviously don't know W I C H.

By the way, what's up with this "W" logo. Does it belong to Wegman's grocery chain? Walgreens? The Washington Nationals? Right now, when I see this, I don't know if I'm supposed to buy my dinner, see a ball game or fill a prescription? Can someone help? W I C H?

 

***THEY SAID IT***
"BYU players included Toloa’i Ho Ching, Ului Lapuaho, Travis Tuiloma and Moroni Laulu-Pututau. Considering this, who would ever want to be the public address announcer?"  -- Brad Dickson
 --My spell-check program just crashed. - CP
"Waze Navigation signed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski to be the voice of a GPS app. Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital."  -- Bill Littlejohn

"CoCo Vandeweghe totaled her tennis racket — smashing it five times — after falling behind 5-0 in her second-round match at the U.S. Open. In other words, she went CoCo for Koo-Koo Puffs"  -- Dwight Perry

"Northwestern defeated Stanford in The Battle of Teams Whose Players Actually Study."  -- Brad Dickson
"Washington has announced that Cousins and not RGIII will be their starter. Sort of like the Titanic announcing a new captain taking over after hitting the iceberg?"  -- Janice Hough
"After Edwin Encarnación's third homer in one game, Toronto fans threw caps on the field in hockey’s hat-trick tradition. Probably because they didn’t get a chance to throw them at Leafs’ games."  -- RJ Currie
" In May, an Ohio newspaper published the results of an investigation that suggested those parents who saved or were saving money for their kids’ Ohio college educations would rise in revolt if they knew how much of their money was being applied to football and basketball. So if you save to send your kid to college, you will be sending two — yours and someone on the football team."  -- Phil Mushnick
"In the Little League World Series championship game, a team from Japan defeated one from Pennsylvania. I’d still like to commend the Philadelphia Phillies for giving it their all."  -- Brad Dickson
"Patriots QB Tom Brady beat the NFL in court. Brady was pretty psyched, but I thought it was a bit much when he dumped a bucket of Gatorade on the judge’s head."  -- Jimmy Fallon

"Taking a midday nap can help lower blood pressure and decrease the risk of a heart attack, according to findings presented at the European Society of Cardiology Conference. Or, as doctors in Cleveland put it, “Take these two Browns tickets and call me in the morning."  -- Dwight Perry

"A friend gave me a ticket from the Angels-Orioles game of Sept. 6, 1995 (right), 20 years ago today, Cal Ripken’s 2,131st consecutive game to break Lou Gehrig’s record. It was for a seat in a luxury suite. Cost? Eighteen dollars. Today, $18 leaves you $27 short of a space in the Yankee Stadium parking lot."  -- Phil Mushnick  {Wait till you try to get into the Stadium - CP}

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GIRARDI IS IN FULL PANIC MODE

If you're any kind of baseball historian - which basically means that you've watched baseball a long time - you know the best way to blow a season is to completely misuse your pitchers. Yankee manager Joe Girardi is about to do just that.
It's so bad, that the minute Girardi walks out of the dugout, I know something dumb is about to happen. Joe has only TWO relievers in the bullpen, that is, only two that he trusts. Dellin Betances is supposed to be the 8th inning guy, but Joe can't seem to get through the 7th inning without bringing in the big guy. Shreve, Wilson and Warren aren't trusted to get anywhere near critical situations and it's got to be wearing on their confidence. Last night the Yanks were pounding Boston 13-5, when things started to go wrong in the 8th inning.  I asked Annie-O if Andrew Miller was warming up yet. She laughed and said, "No, it's Betances first."  Then we both laughed. When NY's 8-run lead shrunk(?) to 6, Girardi almost ran out to the mound to bring in Betances. He did let someone else start the 9th (a rookie, no less) but with the lead now down to five - that's five, boys and girls - here comes Miller.
The Yanks may make the division race tight, but I think the bullpen will eventually blow up and the Yanks will lose. Girardi is always saying that he likes his bullpen - he just doesn't like them actually in the game.

Speaking of confidence builders, What the heck did Joe do for rookie Rico Noel's self esteem last night?  This fellow, who hasn't been able to hit double or triple A pitching, was brought up to be solely a pinch-runner because of his speed. Last night Girardi puts him in the outfield as a defensive replacement. In the bottom of the inning, Noel comes up to bat with two outs and a man on third in a 12-7 Yankee lead. Nope, out comes a pinch hitter. Poor Noel plays exactly one half inning. Sure had to feel good about his Major League debut.

Can someone please tell David Cone to just shut up? He makes one point and then beats it into the ground, repeating  it in three or four different ways. We get it, Coney. Last night he said Boston's Green Monster has a heartbeat, so for the next two innings, we had to listen to "Thump-thump, thump-thump." Really cute, David, really cute. Al Leiter talks too much too, but it least it's instructive. 
Coney also likes to take both sides of an issue: in one breath he talks about cybernetics being so useful, but in the next, he talks about the "eye-test," which means you can tell a lot by watching how the players go about playing. How about the ear-test David? You've said enough when my ears start to bleed!

Why professional sports is such a great career:
 “No more calls, we have a winner! Arrest of the year: Jets defensive end Sheldon Richardson, already on NFL suspension for flunking a drug test, is arrested for allegedly driving 143 mph, resisting arrest, tailgating, driving without lights and running a red light. Cops say they find a fully-loaded semiautomatic handgun in the car, which reeks of weed. Awesome.”  -- Scott Ostler


***THEY SAID IT***
"Potential sports commentator’s nightmare: A May-December relationship between Maria Sharapova and rising Canadian tennis star Denis Shapolalov."  -- RJ Currie
"The Minnesota Vikings led the NFL with 18 arrests in the past five years, with the Denver Broncos No. 2. I believe this means crime is caused by cold weather."  -- Brad Dickson
"Been a tough year for the SF Giants with injuries, but at least they didn’t spend $95 million on Pablo Sandoval. Who at .247 for the Boston Red Sox may not be hitting his weight."  -- Janice Hough

"Negeri Sembilan FA, a Malaysian soccer team, released all but six of its players, saying they faked injuries so as not to play but still collect pay.Things apparently came to a header when one claimed his paycheck gave him a paper cut."  -- Dwight Perry.
"The Tennessee football team are the Kardashians of the SEC, They look good, but they haven’t done anything."  -- Pat Dooley, Gainsville (Fla) Sun
"New Clippers forward Josh Smith, who will earn a combined $6.4 million from L.A. and Detroit next season, complained about his pay. In other news, Greece just asked him for a loan."  -- Brad Dickson
"Canada’s Shawn Barber won pole-vaulting gold at the world track and field championships. It’s easy to spot Barber: his pole has red and white stripes."  -- RJ Currie
 "Tim Tebow stopped a fight at the Philadelphia Eagles training camp. He didn’t stop it so much as he raised his arms and the fight parted."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"“Have you heard the radio commercial for a new toilet so strong you can flush a bucket of golf balls down it? How frustrated are you with your golf game when you require something like this?”  -- Brad Dickson

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