...or invincible. It's understandable when ballplayers strain a tendon while running or crack a rib when diving for a ball or even dislocating a shoulder when running into a wall. Ballplayers, however, can find ways to injure themselves even when they're not on the field...or in the ball park. Like these unfortunate (or dumb) methods that lead to Injury List time:
## We've heard of players who break a bone punching a wall out of frustration, but Huascar Ynoa thought he solved that by punching something padded like the bench. It didn't help, he broke his pitching hand.
## Jesus Lazardo broke a pinky finger slamming his hand on a desk in frustration over a video game. Jesus reportedly said it was because he'd failed once again to beat level 6 in the game.
## Zack Wheeler injured a nail on his pitching hand putting on his pants. Maybe the pants didn't like his choice of shirts.
## The deadly clothing injury continued when Zack Plesac injured a thumb when he "...aggressively took off his shirt." He thought he was okay because Wheeler told him it was the pants that were deadly.
## Jose Quintana cut his thumb washing dishes at home. His wife said he'd do anything to get out of doing chores.
## Shawn also cut his thumb while doing dishes. When are ballplayers going to learn to leave these dangerous jobs to the professionals?
## Carlos Correa missed a few games because his ribs were sore. It turns out that the cause was a massage at home. An aggressive massage after an argument with his wife perhaps?
## Sammy Sosa sprained a ligament in his lower back when he sneezed. Apparently the subsequent "god bless you" didn't help.
## Finally, Jeremy Affeldt is a real danger to himself. He cut his finger trying to separate frozen hamburger patties, sprained his knee when his 4-year old jumped in his arms and dislocated his knee while playing with his kids. I hope he's married to a nurse.
**Country Joe West has umpired 5367 games to date. The number is mind-boggling. If an umpire was to umpire 140 games a season, it would take him more than 38 years to catch up to West...and Joe is not done. I read where West has thrown 193 people out of a game in his career. If someone said he did that in one season, I would believe it. His actual average is one ejection per every 28 games or one a month. He is supposedly the best umpire in baseball and that my be true, but my complaint is that he has rabbit ears and goes looking for a fight. If he just had a shorter fuse I think he'd be revered. But then he wouldn't be Country Joe West.
**I remember back in the early 70's, watching game seven of the NBA finals on May 8th. This year, it's possible this Game Seven will be played the third week of July. All the teams not in the finals will probably be in their respective training camps. Just to keep things in perspective.
***THEY SAID IT***
"Wonder after his PGA victory if Phil Mickelson will be invited on any of Monday’s late-night talk shows? Of course Lefty may first have to schedule a nap to stay up that late." -- Janice Hough
"Michael Jordan’s only known game-worn North Carolina basketball jersey sold at auction for $1.38 million on May 8. Imagine, then, what a once-opened Rob Gronkowski textbook from Arizona might fetch." -- Dwight Perry
"There's a proposal to allow even more instant-replay reviews in college basketball. We need this as much as Olympic swimming events needs lifeguards." -- Jack Finarelli
"A video shows a San Diego Padres fan knocking out a Colorado Rockies fan with one punch. The Rockies fan tried to defend himself, but like the 13-24 Colorado team, he swung three times and missed." -- Alex Kaseberg
"LeBron said he made that big 3-pointer "Thanks to the grace of God." So that's why God hasn't helped with the Covid situation in India - he's busy making sure LeBron gets back to the playoffs." -- Brad Dickson
"Jacob DeGrom looked great in striking out eight and walking none over three shutout innings Thursday during a rehab start for the St. Lucie Mets, New York’s low Class A affiliate. But of course, that is against low A ball hitters. I guess the Seattle Mariners weren’t available." -- Janice Hough
"Not sure why TSN calls the Jets-Oilers series the renewal of an "NHL playoff rivalry." The Jets have lost all six series to Edmonton in the postseason — the fly to the Oilers' swatter." -- RJ Currie
"Park Crossing High School’s 46-45 win over Lanier in the Alabama Class 6A girls softball regionals featured 29 batters hit by pitches and 65 walks.Somewhere, Bob “Just A Bit Outside” Uecker was smiling." -- Dwight Perry
"The Kentucky Derby drew 14.5 million TV viewers. Meanwhile, 12.6 million watched the first night of the NFL draft — three hours of reading out the names of other people’s children." -- Bob Molinaro
"How much do I favor animals over people? Last night HBO replayed the original "Jaws" from '75 and I was rooting for the shark." -- Brad Dickson
Chad Picasner
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